pity party - anyone want to join in!

Let me preface this by saying I know there are sisters out there having some real issues with complications, etc. I know I am very lucky in that aspect and in no way mean to offend anyone who is experiencing serious difficulties.

That being said - I need to vent, rant, whine, whatever...please bear with me so I can try and get this out of my system.

I am having a bad day. I really have no idea why either?!?! I am not in a bad way pain wise. I am actually starting to move around better, etc. However, I am so agitated! Everything is blah! I am tired of being cooped up in this godforsaken house. I have not left it except for a short daily walk in 11 days. Cabin fever *****. We have directv with billions of channels and I can't find anything to watch. My poor DS (5) is losing his mind too. He wants to be at the park or the pool. We are used to being on the go.

I am also NOT happy with this swelly belly garbage. I undestand my body is healing - yadda yadda yadda. I was fat before surgery - now I look like a water buffalo. I don't want to buy 'fatter' clothes. It is NOT fair. My plan was to lose weight because I will eventually have energy again and I will be able to work out. I am not buying fatter clothes. So I guess I will live in sweats and boxer shorts. Hope we don't have to go anywhere nice.

I am just getting fed up with myself - so i am having a pity party. I am fluffing up the pillows. Grabbing the kleenex and going to have a good cry! I don't know what else to do with myself.

I just blew up at my DH earlier tonight! He asked what was wrong so i told him and started to cry. He just hugged me. Told me to relax and try to take it a day at a time. Then he told me the biggest lie I have ever heard come out of his mouth. I told him I felt soo huge. He said that he thought I looked like I lost weight. I couldn't help it. I just started laughing hysterically. He was serious and think I hurt his feelings. Great. So not only am I crabby, but the one true laugh I get is at my poor hubby's expense.

What the heck is the matter with me???? ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Is this pathetic or what? Anyone else fed up and wanting to scream? I want to be on a tropical island with a frosty drink.

Okay - thanks for listening! I am going to try to sleep now and tomorrow will be a better day - right?

hang in there....... it is just all those pent up emotions we are dealing with right now. It is hard to go from a very active lifestyle to a sedentary one. At least hubby made an attempt to make you smile... most sit there like big doofuses and look at you like an idiot when you break down. So get your drink and just pamper yourself to no end! It gets better honest!

Marti

I hear ya! I am on the 11th day also and I feel exactly like you are feeling. I am not liking my swelly belly and I don't want to leave the house because I feel like a house!! I am feeling sorry for myself I guess, hubby is not as attentive as he was last week, neither are my 2 teenage DS. I do appreciate this site, it's nice to hear that I am not the only one feeling like I do.......hang in there
lenae

All I can say is that it does get better. I am 4 months pot-op now, and not too much swelly belly, and the emotions are much more stable. Am working on sleeping still (as you can see from my post time, the 1st night w/Lunesta isn't going too well!) However, I have had sleeping issues for years, not just post-hyst.

Just hang in there. It will be better before ya know it.

Blessings,
Paula

Awwww Michele --- You write so well I could actually visualize you, your son, your husband, your Direct T.V. !! It is so absolutely frustrating not being able to do anything. I'm sure it's hard with a young child too. My son is 12 so he kept himself amused with Playstation and some other things. Before you know it you will be out and about. Your husband sounds like a sweetheart - mine would say the same thing yours did in that situation. Thank god they are understanding and tolerant of our emotions. This will be a distant memory soon. I feel great 3 1/2 weeks post op and am almost back to a normal routine - well except for a few things like lifting and stuff. Hang in there sweetie~~

It really is okay to feel the way you do regardless if it's a hormonal thing or not, we are entitled after all. We are women, who are normally the ones who, comfort, encourage and give lots of attention to everyone else who needs it, but ourselves..We tend to forget about ourselves alot...so it's okay to get depressed and feel really low,after all we are women with lots of emotions and heart, and especially for what we have gone thru.Rest assured you will get better, emotionally and physically.I feel the good differences every week, it is really slow going, but i really do feel the difference, and it's not as fast as I would like, but I just keep thinking...it will get better, it will get better. Hang in there, all of us will give you lots of support and as many pep talks as you need, as all the "sisters" have done for me and continue to do.Lots of Hugs

I can't go to the pity party with you because I have banned myself from my own pity parties so I can't go to yours either. However, I know you feel because I felt the same way. We should write CABIN FEVER with all caps. However, I agree with the other sister, you do write well and very entertaining. I know how you feel. I see this huge swelly belly which I haven't seen since I was 8 months pregnant, and my dh can't see it. Yeah right. Talk about being diplomatic. Six weeks feel like six months when you have to recover from surgery but it will be over pretty soon. I'm actually surprised that I'll be six weeks on Monday and haven't killed or seriously injured myself or the ones I love.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by missmarti68 At least hubby made an attempt to make you smile... most sit there like big doofuses and look at you like an idiot when you break down. So get your drink and just pamper yourself to no end! It gets better honest! Marti

(((I thought my husband was the only one who did that!!!))) I have honestly , in the past, sat there bawling my eyes out and ranting and raving about something very serious to me, while he just sat there with no look on his face staring at me, with no words that meant anything to me coming out of his mouth. It would always make me madder and feel worse about things. Geeezzzz...and in my mind I'm thinking, 'You are such a *******' doofus'.

Anyway-we are still married, so it can't be that bad!
((He's a good man otherwise!))

BUT--MMR1972; You are at day 11. At day 11 I looked like crap, my house looked like crap, my husband looked like crap(hahaha), and a few days later(or the next day if I got enough sleep), things looked a little better. The nights are the worst!!! Everything is dark and gloomy and depressing. Life appears to be so much more terrible for me when I am in pain and or uncomfortable and it is midnight, then when I am in pain and it is 2PM. It really is depressing.
IT WILL GET BETTER!!! weeks three and four are a real turn around for a lot of women. Hang in there, it will happen!The belly will go down, and you will feel better about life and yourself soon enough!!!

I had mine done on the 19th and have the same stir crazy issues. At the same time (as I sit here at 5:00 AM- up and wide awake already) I'm also aware of how lucky I am to only have that problem and not some of the more serious complications that other ladies here are dealing with.

I begged my sister to take me out to get a craft or something I could sit and do. After that I was too wiped out to go to the grocery store with her though. I used to get up and do some exercise in the morning before work but now I am wiped out just strolling through a store. The morning walk/shuffle is the highlight of the day... however at least I CAN DO THAT!!

As for the pity party, sometimes you just need to. The thing is to allow yourself to cry, feel sorry for yourself, pull a chair up to the frig and eat everything in sight.. (my favorite) but make a deal with yourself you will do that only for one day, one hour or whatever and then get on with it.

I have to add that this board is great. I learned so much in the waiting period and becuase of this board I am not freaking out over swelly belly I have, just trying to be patient with it.

Best wishes to all the ladies here.

I feel same way my tah was a few days later than yours and I feel pretty good. But for some reason I feel sooo bored tv is awful during the day and I can't seem to just sit and read a book.. There should be a nice lil vacation package where we could just go sit on a beach and at least enjoy this time off. I mean can you imagine be bored at some tropical paradise. We may not even need pain meds. I feel for you, and I'm right there with you.. this too shall pass tho, I hope....

Rachel