What if He's not interested anymore? TMI

I'm 5 weeks post op. I have one more week to go before I'm realeased to have sex.

My husband has not once showed any interest in playing around. I have attempted to initiate some sexy fun, but he shuts me down right away. I tell him it's just playing around no penetrating, He still shut me down.

It really hurts my feelings and makes me worry that he doesn't desire me anymore.

What if my 6 week point rolls around and he still doesn't want me?

Oh I wouldn't worry, Maybe he is just afraid of hurting you. Hopefully after your 6 week checkup he will get back to normal. I am praying for a healthy recovery and healthy recovery with your dh.

I've had a similar experience. Until last night, when I borught the subject up. I'm only 1 week post-op but I had a TVH so no incisison and recover is fairly easy, at least for me right now. So I was feeling a little ignored. When I went to snuggle or smooch, he made a point of not engaging. Yikes. Not part of my expeience of him since day one (8 years ago!) So I asked. And it all came out in a big rush - he was feeling like somehow he was responssible for me having to have this surgery (we had sex way too early after the birht of our last baby) and he was really afraid of hurting me and didn't want to put any pressure on my to satisfy him - he just wanted to leave me alone to heal! First of all, it wasn't his fault in any way (I had firbroids and overgrown engometrial tissue inside the uterus and needed a rectocele) - I know I didn't spell that right - .... at any rate, after I reassured him that I just needed some snuggles and some reassureance and that I wasn't going to jepordize my health in order to have sex, he relaxed and we were fine. Hang in there. He'll still want you. My bet is he's just scared. Stiff. Just kidding. Sorry - couldn't help myself.

Sounds like he is scared, we forget at times that they also go through this. Don't let it get you down, perhaps a good heart to heart with DH is needed.

Hiya LM,
It's NOT you, beleive me....mine is doing the same...it all came to a head last night, and what he said i had to respect. All i have done over the past few weeks of being involved with hystersiters, is tell him about my fears, about the women that have had problems after intercourse, torn stitches etc etc.....we have only had sex twice sinse my all clear, and he really didnt enjoy it he said.....was terrified of hurting me, and waiting to be sent flying through a window.
He doesnt want to go near me again until he is with me at the Dr's and gets told himself that all is ok....so hang in there LM, he is probably trying to protect you, dont take it to heart, and if you do, remember he is only like this because he does care....keep your chin up....hugs to you

i think after everything you went thru he is just scared to hurt you...give him time... remember men dont like to start then quit so its better to wait till you are really ready..
in the mean time do little things to start showing him your ready... make a nice light dinner..rub his shoulders ..then little kisses.. in a few days he will give in..men cant resist being codled

Thanks Girls Only time will tell

I had the same thing happen, although I wasn't exactly initiating anything for several weeks. But after I got the go-ahead, we talked about it, and dh said he had absolutely no desire to do anything until we were both ready to enjoy ourselves.... We waited until somewhere around 8 weeks and it was worth the wait.

I hope things go well for you... Slow and steady wins the race.

My DH was so great. At 4 weeks, he asked when we could be together again. And then he patiently waited... My doc had already said 6 weeks, but didn't see me until 8 weeks. So at the 6 week mark, I initiated one night, and he almost got mad at me, thinking it still wasn't ok and wanting the best for me!

Once I told him it was ok w/the doc, then he was more than happy to go ahead with it. And he was so careful to be sure it wasn't painful for me.

I'm sure it will all go well for you, too, when the time comes. In the meantime, focus on finishing up your healing process.

Blessings,
Paula

I'm guessing either he is afraid he will hurt you somehow, or he is concerned about the old "blue balls" thing, that he will get all worked up and then be stuck like that.

My boyfriend is keeping his touching of me above the waist till our 6 weeks are up. I keep him happy using my hands. It seems to be a reasonable compromise.