Oh my gosh, what have I done? (babies mentioned)

I am in somewhat of a similar boat. Post partum hemorraging after the birth of my two kids. After the second one, I had all of the symptoms you describe. While I was under on the operating table, the nurse basically gave my husband a choice - save your wife or her uterus.

We wanted to have two more children, so we are devastated. I am about 8 months out and still seeing a therapist and psych for medication. Everything you say is normal, and I have the same feelings. One thing that people say to me, and I guess they will say to you is something like: "Well at least you had your kids or well at least you had a boy and a girl, etc." I know they mean well, but that drives me crazy. It makes you feel worse for the feelings you have.

I have to run, but understand completely. Feel free to send me a private message if you need to vent or have questions.

Our minds are so complex, aren't they? I'm 39, have a wonderful 6 yr. old but had terrible complications after her birth, and am divorced...so it is pretty obvious that I would not be having another child. Yet, when the doc came to me in post-op after my laparoscopy and said, "Your only option is a total hysterectomy.", I was sort of in shock. I had even joked with him that if he saw anything in there that needed to be yanked out, have at it! Then I felt guilty for saying it after I realized that I should've been careful for what I asked for!

I go to counseling regularly. My counselor asked me to journal my thoughts and feelings about my hysterectomy. She told me that even though I was prepared not to have any more children, I would still be going through a grieving process. Grieving the loss of these organs. Most importantly, she assured me that it was OK to feel these strange, unexpected feelings.

I am 2-1/2 wks. post-op, and am currently in pain but rejoicing in the hope that my life will be so much better soon. No more debilitating pain! Energy again! More energy to give to the child that I have been immensely blessed with! The glass if half full!

Please be assured that there are many of us who are grieving with you and would give you a big hug if we could. Just hang in there...life is about to get better for you. You are completely normal and you are going to be okay.

s to all!