there is no polite way to ask this, so here it goes. Is it possible for your vaginal wall to atrophy(shrink)? Since my surgery, sex has become a thing of the past. My husband and I have gone as long as 3 mos between sessions. Then when we do, it hurts, I jokingly ask him if he had grown larger, or if I was shrinking. He only laughed, to avoid hurting my feelings i'm sure. So my question is do the vaginal walls actually shrink, when you are not sexually active for periods of time.
That is a really good question, and I'd like to hear what other sisters have to say... It is my understanding that the walls do not shrink from lack of use (the "use it or lose it" doesn't apply). I did not have for sex for a 10 year period, nor did I masturbate, until I met my husband, and then sex was better than ever (there was no shrinkage). (I had sex in my early 20s, but stopped for spiritual reasons and to avoid STDs).
It is my understanding that age related hormone changes can affect the vaginas elasticity and lubrication... maybe that could result in feeling "tighter." Have you tried extra lubrication and/or extended foreplay to help relax those muscles? There is something called Vaginismus (like a vaginal muscle spasm), that can make penile penetration difficult or even impossible because the vagina is so tight.
There are doctors that specialize in these problems, so maybe a professional could help?
Have you talked to your dr about your situation? You can have atrophy from hormone imbalance. Please make an appointment with your dr and see what kind of solution s/he can offer you. There are options available for this situation.
I too think it shrinks.... Then again I think that the level of arousal has alot to do with how much "stretch" you have.
I also think that if you are nervous for any reason that will have an effect.
Take your time getting to penetration, make sure all of your "needs" are met and that you are emotionally and physically ready... then go slow...
If none of that works I know you can go to a dr and they can do a procedure to "open" you up a little and that coupled with some estrogen will make everything work...
The vagina can shrink if you're not sexually active, especially if you're low on estrogen. Vaginal estrogen (like Premarin cream or an Estring) usually helps more than oral or trahsdermal estrogens (which you might also need to take for other reasons).
I took Zoladex (similar to Luron) to shrink my fibroid and Evista to protect the bone. Both cause vaginal dryness and atrophy. I was supposed to have my TLH in June but wasn't able to. By that time, my vagina was a mess. My doc put me on Premarin cream which really helped. I got a couple of dildos, one small and one medium. I'm not sure if explaining what I did (which was rather dull and unsexy) would be TMI but it worked well. If you'd like the details, please send me a private message.
Just look up "vaginal atrophy" in your search engine. I read about the side effects of vaginal atrophy, didn't like what I read, and although I was determined to get through this with no HRT, I decided to ask about and start using the Estring, and am 'encouraging' my husband. (Post-hyst, my libido is nil...) Several excellent websites give side effects and what you can do about it. Intercourse is still a bit painful but improving, and the dryness has also lessened since starting the Estring.