Cervical cancer 1b1

It all started with just a little spotting in between periods, then turned into what seemed like a period in between periods. That's when I knew that something wasn't right and I called my doctor. I was knew to the plan and the doctor, and even though I explained what was happening to the appointment nurse, I was still told that it didn't seem worriesome, and that they could get me in in August, over a month away!

I actually felt somewhat relieved because if was something to worry about, then surely they would have gotten me in sooner. But I started doing a little research on the internet and wasn't liking what I was reading. Everything I read said it could be anything from a little nothing cyst to cancer. I just knew that I wasn't going to get lucky this time. Just a feeling.

I finally went to my appt and I saw the nurse practitioner. I told her it had been about five years since my last pap, but I never had had a bad one. She did an exam and told me she didn't really see anything, but just as a precaution wanted an ultrasound done. I did that and that came back negative. Whew! (at the time).

When I was called about the ultrasound results I asked about the pap and was told that the results weren't back yet, but that if I didn't hear anything soon that all was fine, I would get a letter in the mail telling me everything was ok. The dr would only call if there was a problem.

Three more weeks went by and I thought I was in the clear, although I still had a nagging feeling that something just wasn't right. I was right. I got a call from a scheduling nurse telling me I needed to come in right away that my pap showed something suspicious and the dr (not the np) wanted to do another exam and a possible cervical biopsy. She told me that I tested positive for HPV. I panicked because I knew how that was transmitted and knew that I hadn't been with anyone else except my husband for 15 years and thought the same of him. But she explained that it could lay dormant for even longer than that before HPV shows up.

I told my dh about the appt and told him what it could possible mean. He refused to think the worst, and I told him I would go to the appt alone. That was a mistake! While I was waiting in the waiting area I just broke down, I just knew that I wasn't ok. Everyone looked at me, but I just kept my head down in my magazine.

The nurse came for me and brought me to the exam room. She tried to comfort me, but it didn't work. The dr. came in and asked me if I knew why I was there. I told her what I knew and that it was possible that I would need a cervical biopsy. She told me that it wasn't a possibility, it was definate. The patholigist that looked at my pap told her to get me in right away, that it appeared that there were cancer cells. I panicked and whent hysterical again. She said that we should cross our fingers and hope that it was severe dysplasia and not cancer. I finally calmed down enough for her to do the exam and the biopsy. When she was done she said that it didn't look good to her, but lets wait and see what pathology said. I asked her what would happen either way, and she told me that either way I would probably need a hysterectomy. I left, called my dh from the car crying and he left work to meet me at home.

Jumping ahead here - After eventually finding the most wonderful ob/onc (an hour away) and after a lot of thought and research, I decided to have a radical hysterectomy instead of radiation/chemo treatments. Because it was still early, stage 1b1 and less than 4mm, I had a choice.

After the surgery my dr said that everything looked good and he believed all the margins and lymph nodes would come back clear. He was right, pathology said it was all clear, but that the tumor was a bit more bulky than anticipated and my dr said I still needed to have radiation/chemo treatments along with three rounds of internal radiation.

My dh and I were devastated. For the 2 weeks we thought we were all done with this, we were in bliss, but then this came crashing down on us. This is what we wanted to avoid.

I bucked up eventually, and once I recovered enough from the surgery, I started my treatments. The radiation was physically painless, but took an emotional toll. The chemo made me very ill, and after 3 treatments, my dr said to stop, it wasn't necessary, as it was more preventative than anything else and was meant to boost the radiation. I was very thankful.
The internal radiation was the worst and caused the most side effects, but I was put out each time, so at least I wasn't awake for it.

It's been about 5 months since the end of the treatments, and I just had my first CT, so I am anxiously waiting for the results. I still have some side effects, though nothing too horrible.

Thank to all who have allowed this site to be here, I am grateful to have a place to share my story, it makes me feel normal again to be understood and know that I am not alone it all of this. Thank you!