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do you ever wonder if it is really worth it? do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

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Unread 09-12-2006, 06:31 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

i had my tah/bso one week ago and am wondering if it was really worth it now...........
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Unread 09-12-2006, 06:35 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

what's going on that is making you feel this way grove?
Unread 09-12-2006, 06:38 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

Dear Grove,

I understand how you feel. I suppose it depends on what were the reasons behind your surgery. Mine occurred because the dr (a gyn onc), along with the pathologist, thought I might have had complications in the ovaries, and so we went from simply being concerned about the endocervical canal (the part of the cervix that meets the uterus) and the uterine walls to worrying about the ovaries (because I'd been in an IVF program). So they presented it as if there really was no choice, though I protested that I wanted one more 6-month period to try to work this through without surgery. I went for the surgery and all tissues came back indicating no cancer was present anywhere.

So I do know what you mean.

But I have concluded that my life will eventually improve, however long this recovery seems to be taking and however difficult it will be to face this sudden menopause and all its consequences in my daily living. And the problems I was facing before will be gone. Yes, new problems have emerged with sudden menopause, and it could be my intimate experience will never ever be the same, but I try to focus on the future and on wellness rather than on what I've lost. After all, there is no other choice for me. And after all, I feel fortunate to have been given this warning call about the preciousness of time and relationships and everything I love about the natural world and living in it.

I hope you can get past the rough patch you may be going through. Life is good -- difficult at times, but very good, and that seems to be what our surgeries, in part, might have been about.

Best wishes to you on your recovery.
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Unread 09-12-2006, 06:57 AM
ok your reply made me cry, I think because

this is just hard. letting go of your house to someone else to be in charge, trying to care for small children while recouping and well the pain and not being use to having to just relax and recoup.
I had stage 4 endo years ago and they did a lap to get it out back then. but over the years have had more endo problems, cysts and the last report was the right ovary was stuck to the uterus and had a huge cyst.
I have had a lot of pain. the lab came back with not so much endo this time but I had some inside the right ovary, the left ovary had a cyst and I had a small fibroid inside the uterus that I didn't know I had - so I guess that justifies the surgery? not sure?
I just went from a very active lifestyle to a screaching halt.......
your post sure makes sense to me, I am thankful that it wasn't worse and am thankful that maybe some day I won't be in pain but this time is hard - harder then I thought it would be.
thanks again for the kind words
Unread 09-12-2006, 07:07 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

Thank you for opening up about your surgery. You have had a hard time of it, with the problems that emerged. My surmise is that you might have had to have the surgery eventually, even if you could have gotten past the hump in the immediate terms. One of my sisters had difficulties similar to yours, and she put off surgery -- putting up with pain and other problems -- for many years, only to have to have surgery at the time she reached 46, simply to help her have a better quality of life.

With little ones, with having someone in your home helping you, doing things the ways you would never do them yourself, etc. -- that's very hard, of course. Especially if you were an active type. I tried to get myself going too soon, and tore my internal stitches and ended up back to square one at the 2-week post-op period.

But I know it will get better, and I believe it will get better for you. It's hard to stay put and watch other folks trying to "help" in ways you might not like. And I felt terrible during week 2, having to accept that this was my lot, so I really do know how you might be feeling.

But in the longest haul, it seems we did the right thing, and we'll be strong enough to get ourselves back into good physical condition, and our psychic and emotional condition will be better for having known that we got through even this. Right now, I'm feeling in fact that if I can get through this, I'll be able to get through anything. I hope that feeling comes to you soon, too.

Very best wishes to you. You're not alone. Maybe talk to the dr or nurse about your pain. Could be they might have additional solutions for pain management.
Unread 09-12-2006, 07:41 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

I had those feelings the first 2 weeks which I think are the ones you need to cry if you want to and just lay in bed and drink lots of water all day, yes it will make you go to the bathroom a lot but water helps to clean you from all the chemicals and (anesthesia). In between keep a good attitude you will be in control soon if you rest and not do more than you are supposed too. I wish the best of luck in your recovery!
Unread 09-12-2006, 08:22 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

YES!! I have to say from my experience I wouldn't wish this surgery on my worse enemy. recovery was for the birds! although I am optimistic that this decision will increase my quality of life, and looking forward to a pain free and more active life, I still fear future problems down the road, I had TAH but kept ovaries, right now they haven't started functioning 100% and they say 3-5 years is their life span. Also I had severe end stage endo, so fearful that could reginerate. But all in all I'm sure it was worth it all, I didn't really have much choice as the endo wrecked havoc on organs. I could have waited it out in pain and hopefull for in-vitro but I had to live for today not the future in hopes of a husband and money to do in-vitro and I probably would have only lasted another year so I would have been pressured to get pregnant (and I don't even have a man in my life...LOL) sorry just babbling, even with complications I've had... I know it was a good decision for me, just have to be patient during the recovery and learn to be still.
Unread 09-12-2006, 09:00 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

Grove, and to all you sisters, I am 42 and now almost 8 months out from my surgery and I am here to tell you that it will get better. I know how all of you feel. Grove, I had my hysterectomy due to the exact same reasons that you describe. I lived with endometrosis and suffered for a long time. I lived my life around my periods, it was just plain miserable. Finally in January I found out that I had two huge cysts on each ovary and they needed to come out. They were endometriomas and I had a complete hysterectomy. I was in so much pain when I came home from the hospital. On top of that my dh had to fly out to another state for his job a week after the surgery. He could not get out of it and felt so bad. I was left at home to take care of a 5 and 9 year old. I thought I would die. I could barely walk or get of bed. But I made it and everyday after that was better. It takes time, believe me when I say that, it takes time! Don't let anyone fool you or make you feel bad that it is taking long to recover. This is a MAJOR surgery and I felt like I would never be the same. But after the 6 week mark that is when things really started turning around for me. I started feeling like I was getting back to normal again doing the things I did before. But it was depressing at first, I will admit. But you will make it and it will get better. Do not over do it. I stress that to you because I did and you will suffer for it. The swelly belly does take time to go away but it will get better over time. I will not lie, it is a slow process but you need to take one day at a time and you will know your limits. Don't push it!
Today I feel better than I ever have in my life. I take no HRT except for Premarin vaginal cream. I do take all natural supplements and I am doing great. Hopefully any symtoms you get will come gradually like mine did and I just dealt with it one day at a time. My hotflashes started about 2 weeks after surgery and some days I had alot of them and other days I had none. Over time they got much better and today I may get one or two a week and that is it. I do take 10 mg of prozac, which I started before surgery and that has helped tremendously. If you feel you need anything please tell your doctor. Don't be ashamed or afraid. Everyone is different dealing with all these symtoms and I feel very blessed that I came thru this so well. My stomach is still numb around the incision but I have gotten used to that so it doesn't bother me anymore. Just remember that if you have any questions about anything you have this great board to come to and you will get the answers you need.
Unread 09-12-2006, 09:22 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

Grove, it will get better. I am a control freak and to watch the house literally fall around me is tough.....but, I am almost 4 weeks post op and getting better at it.

Now I have a "pointer" and when my son is around I tap the stick and point at whatever is one the ground. At least now he doesn't give a heavy sigh, he smiles.

Things will get better. I just remember how awful I felt prior to surgery. Don't miss the bleeding to death one bit for sure.

Take care..each week will get better.
Unread 09-12-2006, 10:00 AM
do you ever wonder if it is really worth it?

I am 6 weeks post-op this week, and in my first week home it was really hard for me to give up control and just let others take care of me. I absolutely HATE being inactive, the worse part of it is that I put on some weight while I have recovered, and that makes me feel....well, we all know how it affects us.

I had massive fibroids that had taken over my pelvic cavity, binding the bladder, rectum and one ovary. There were also more than 10, and the doctor wasn't even sure how many were there as they were so numerous. The pain in the months before my surgery was chronic, overwhelming and more intense than labor pains, often driving me to my knees. I practically lived on ibuprofen, which hardly helped at all, and could hardly leave my house when I had a period, much less do anything considered normal. Sex was scary....would it be painful or would it be OK? There really was no other option, and after the surgery, as I lay in the hospital bed doped up on painkillers I could already tell the difference.

Now six weeks later, I am overjoyed with how much better I feel. I can walk my usual race-walk pace again without feeling like my insides are going to explode, and I know I can drop off those post-surgical pounds with some extra effort. I have no more pain, no more periods (after the past few years with bad endo and those fibroids, you can imagine how thrilled I am about that!!!) and I won't even embarass myself about how much better the sex is!

Was it worth it?? You bet it was. I don't regret one thing, only the sadness when I feel consumed by my wanting the babies that I could never have. And since it has been almost three years since my infertility diagnosis, that is a bit easier now. The surgery was absolutely necessary to restore the quality of life I deserve to have, and those fibroids were taxing so much blood from my body that it was causing headaches, near chronic fatigue despite plenty of exercise, and a host of other ailments. My big picture is clear that my surgery was worth it. I am sure that you will see the benefits soon too.

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