Need advice ASAP

My TAH is Friday Sept 15th. We just found out this morning that my husbands sister passed away this morning. Done know arragements yet. My dr office is closed and shes not on call. Should I cancel? I dont know what to do. Dont want to wait either becuase I am flipping out anyway. All set with insurance and work. My husband said to go. Help need advise! I love and care for everyone just dont know what to do. Any advise????

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! Does your dr have an answering service? I'd keep trying to get in touch with her and see what she has to say...maybe they could just postpone for a few days (you surely won't feel like attending a funeral right after surgery and I'm sure you will want to be there to support your dh). I'm praying that you find comfort and peace and a solution for a difficult situation. God bless you and dh!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I have called several times and the service said she isnt on call and is the only one I can talk to. The hospital referred me back to my dr. Even drove to the office and they are closed. With ins and work I think tomorrow will be too late of a notice to stop everthing. I am at a loss and so upset!

I am sorry your sister in law passed away. You have my condolences. This is a tough one. I'm sure family wouldn't mind you missing the funeral, but hubby can't be with you at the hospital and at the funeral at the same time. I would call your doc's office. They can get in touch with her. maybe she will postpone it for only a few days longer???
Good luck!!!!
Hugs

Thank you SisterAngel! I have called several times and she isnt there or on call. I am trying to think my family will understand but I feel so guilty for possibly having to go through the surgery waiting now is unbearable and a delay would also make me ill. I dont want to be self centered either. I wish I had an answer. My heart hurts.

Hi Moonflowers, So sorry for your loss. What a difficult situation to be faced with so close to the day of your surgery. I am at a loss for advice...after reading your post I was thinking about what I would do if I were you and I couldn't come to a solution. What I do know is waiting for your surgery date to finally get here is very frustrating. My suggestion is that you have an open, honest talk with your husband and make your decision based on that. Take good care and I wish you comfort and peace in finding a solution. Take care! Melanie

I hope you don't take this wrong. I'm not meaning to sound un-sympathetic in the least, it's just that your health is at risk. If your husband has encouraged you to go ahead with the surgery, then it means he's okay with it. I know you would like to be there for him and support him in the loss of his sister and I'm sure he understands and knows that (and I'm sure his family will understand). Your time off from work has already been arranged, as has the insurance (that's a big orchestration in and of itself). However, I can say all this and others will give their advice, but who it ultimately comes down to is you. This is really a decision that you will have to make for yourself. Didn't really help much, did I?! I feel for your situation and pray that everything will work out for you. I'm sincerely sorry for the loss of your sister-in-law.

Thank you Sambones. My husband does say to go ahead but I dont know if I should. Is he sayong that just becuase. I just dont know. You are right about the ins etc. that is huge and will get mixed up with a date change. I just dont want to be self centered and have people upset with me. I am so upset....

I truly feel your pain and agony over this. It really is a difficult position to be in, no doubt. If you choose to go through with your surgery, it is not a selfish decision. Your health problems necessitate this surgery and that's why it was scheduled. Was your sister-in-law ill and near death or was her death sudden and unexpected? If it was sudden, then it would be completely unfathomable for any one to be upset with you and consider you self-centered. However, there is ALWAYS one or two who will see it that way. That's life and you cannot control what they think and feel, NOR are you responsible. Seriously discuss all that you are feeling with your husband. If your heart tells you to post-pone the surgery, then so be it. Surgeries have been canceled at the last minute due to a person having caught a cold or having some kind of bacterial infection, and I'm sure for other reasons. Your insurance co. should be flexible (your delay means theirs in having to pay out...ha!) Sorry, just a little comic relief. How flexible is your employer? Will your doctor be reachable tomorrow?

Pam

I hope that my dr will be. My head says I must go throu8gh with it has planned. My heart says no. I am going to call tomorrow to see what she says but I waited months for this date. I am going to call my mother in law and see what she says. I am so torn up about this. I am sick. My sister in law was sudden only 42 yrs old. Her heart gave out. I will somehow pay my respects if I ahve to get wheeled there. Just dont know. Looking for a solid answer but nothing seems right.