I use the title of chukablock after taking care of my elderly grandmother. She would tell me she was full and did not want anything else to eat after saying that. My total hysterectomey, 5 weeks ago has left me confused about who and what I want. Full but hungry, weak but restless, calm but irritable, alone but preoccupied, wanting to sleep but knowing I need to get my butt out of bed and return to my normal self. Is there a happiness, calming, loving desire to walk the walk and be a fantastic women? I am taking all the medications but feel weak and my body image is shot. Please, if there is anyone out there to help I am waiting. Thanks.
's to you. At 5 weeks out I can relate to what your feelings. What to do? What to do? Confusion and total brain loss set in, along with emotions. I'm sorry your feeling this way, I know it's no picnic in the park.
Are you on any HRT?
Hang in there - it will get better. I say this at 10 weeks - even though I feel much of what you are feeling now. All I can say is there are bad days and better days. For me I just learned to accept this entire process as a journey of reflection ... a solitary journey....you need to give yourself time to heal....but not being who we used to be is so hard. I hope tomorrow is better for you...and that the next day is even better. At 5 weeks I was jumping out of my skin to get back to my real life where I was strong and self sufficient and not limited.....at 10 weeks I am still longing for that day but find each day I am more and more like my old self! Hang on .... it will get better.
Hi, Chuckablock, I'm about five weeks out, too. I have a sense of what you are saying about indecisiveness, but mine is tied to feelings of being too tired. I'll wake up great, make plans for the day, but even just getting out of bed and getting the coffee then becomes a struggle. We're just tired and need to heal, I think, and to deal with the frustratingly long time that healing will take. I have sufficient focus and am goal-oriented, but no energy at times!
I don't plan on taking hormones, but perhaps you might want to look into these, if you think they might help you feel more like your old self. I am unwilling to run the risk of breast cancer, and my mother, who had a hyst when she was a little younger than I am now, never took any drugs (just then becoming available to women) and is still going strong at 88, with no osteoporosis and just the beginning signs of arthritis. But everyone is different. Have you talked with the dr about how you're feeling? I see mine next week. I hope we both continue to improve as our sisters here say we will. It's an uphill walk, but it sure seems as if the view will be beautiful, once we're there!
Chuka, I'm with you. Ditto all you said. I posted a similar thread a couple of days ago. Totally not feeling like myself. Wicked insomnia. I'm convinced it's hormonal.
I went to my primary dr today and she asked me how I was doing. I told her I feel like a hormonal freak of nature. She's so nice and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this"...and then I burst into tears. I never burst into tears...who am I?!?! Thanks to hyster sisters I know it's normal, but it's so strange to me. I'm seeing my GYN tomorrow and will probably do some kind of hormones for a few months until the ovaries kick in.
Anyway, hang in there and take care of yourself. Hope you are doing better soon.
We live in a society which puts a premium on women being everything to everyone. We zoom about, never taking a break. That we try to hold down a job/career, be mother, wife and lover is astounding! As hard as it is, try to accept what you cannot change: you can't be everything right now. Set tiny goals for each day, like: take a shower; get dressed; make your bed or write a thank you note to someone who has been generous with their time or love. Remove your old expectations and try to love your body, despite that it is changed. YOU are woman. YOU are worthy.
I am about 6 weeks post-op and I guess I was expecting mirales to have happened by this time. The healing process has been a little slow but pickin' up the pace a bit everyday it seems. Now if I could only get some decent sleep and get past the emotional problems !!
Everything you said is a wonderful description of how many of us must be feeling. This is the absolute hardest thing I've ever been through in my life next to the loss of 2 pregnancies. I feel like I don't know what to do or which way to turn next. I love to read where ladies have written about the light at the end of the tunnel and that things will get better. So I'll keep looking for that light while keeping you and all the other struggling princesses in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you'll see that light soon.
Thank all of you kind and caring women for your feedback. I am back to work full-time and 8 weeks into recovery. I am using the 2 hormone patches every 48 hours and will have the estrogen pellets implanted the first week of November. My energy levels vary day to day, as do my moods. Walking outside in the fresh air really helps and I plan to start exercising with weights very soon. Just FYI there are 4 ways to increase your seratonin levels: laughing, crying, exercising and sex. Seratonin helps to improve your mood and I need a dose everyday to help with all the little ups and downs life has to deal me. Thanks again, it's great to know I am not alone.