Simply Awful

I am just beside myself. I know I am a bundle of nerves, I'm stressed out and worried...but Aunt Flo's unexpected/unscheduled visit this morning has sent me over the edge! I missed a call from the hospital today, presumably for my pre-op testing, I will call them tomorrow and find out.

I bit DH's head off for no reason, I mean cussed him out like a sailor! Yelled (I mean screamed) at my children, their mouths dropped open and they ran away to their rooms and hid! And I kicked my dog I have never ever ever done anything like that before! I feel absolutely awful and terrified that I could do such a thing. Even tho she is a 90 pound part horse, shepherd/husky mix she sure didn't need me doing that. All she did was look up at me with those big sad eyes as if to say "Hey... why did ya do that?"

I am an absolute monster! I am in so much pain, the cramping, the bloating, the swelling, the discomfort! I couldn't bend all the way over to tie my shoes! I nearly went through the roof!! I could swear I popped an ovary or something it hurt so bad!

I have absolutely got to figure something out before I hurt someone... I don't mean physically .. but words can do enough damage and I can't seem to get control of my foul mouth and screaming. And my poor, poor puppy. I am taking Rx Ibuprofen and it is doing nothing. I even took a vicodin (prescribed for my back pain) and it didn't make a dent.

It just seems like my stress/worry is turning to anger. Or is does that happen sometimes? Im generally a very easy going laid back person. I don't yell, scream or hit. I felt totally out of control. I just don't understand why.. is it hormones? Anyone have any idea?? Suggestions?? I would hate to be locked up in the looney bin until my surgery next week!!

I hope you don't think any less of me for losing it trust me I'm beating myself up enough over it. I am planning a nice long hot bath, a xanax, and turning in early. Tomorrow is another day.

I'm a mess.

Same thing happens to me every month with my periods. I will be glad when I have surgery and get it over with! We are only human and can only deal with so much! Take that hot bath, maybe have a glass of wine and go to bed early. I hope you feel better tomorrow. (((HUGS)))

Thanks Mickeynut

Once again, some time around the message boards here and I am feeling better. I really think I am having a hot flash... not sure what they are or what they feel like but right now, I feel like I am in an oven, and my face feels flushed. Everyone else says it's fine in here and the thermometer says it's 70º

Im preparing to get in the tub, taking my aromatherapy candle with me.

Ru,

I have had the stress turn to anger several times the past few weeks. I hope your family understands that it's not them (I'm sure they do). Just a few days ago I was trying to get the kids ready for school and they just weren't cooperating. I lost it. I starting screaming right in my daughter's face. Then when I dropped them off for school and started driving to work, I broke down and cried.

This is such an emotional roller coaster and I'm sure Aunt Flo doesn't make it any easier. I've been cramping for over a week now and wondering when she will decided to seek her vengence on me before the 7th.

Take some time and do something for yourself. A massage would be just what the doctor ordered (I paid DD $5 last night to massage my feet). I felt so much more relaxed after that.

One more week hun and no more Aunt Flo!! There is light at the end of this tunnel. Hang in there!!

Thanks Janice It is comforting to know I am not the only one. I just hate the fact that I lost it so bad... in the past I always left the room and had my little tantrums, but today was just too much.

I think you are right, they probably DO understand, since they are all still talking to me .. even my darling little puppy.

It will all be over soon ... a week from tomorrow is the surgery and a month or two after that I should up and running good as new

	Quote:
Originally Posted by AHart436 I am taking Rx Ibuprofen and it is doing nothing. I even took a vicodin (prescribed for my back pain) and it didn't make a dent.

Please STOP taking ibuprofen and call your doctor. Most doctors advise stopping ibuprofen 7 - 10 days prior to surgery as it can interfere with blood clotting during surgery.

Ru, I feel for you. I hope today is a better day. I have days like that a lot. Those dang hormones. As I say my hores are moaning! At least yours will be over in a few days. I'm sure you family understands your uptight and feeling bad. Just have comfort in knowing that your aunt flo's flyin the coup real soon!

AHart436, gather DH and kids as soon as possible, hug each, apologize, explaing this is a very emotional time for all of you, how much you love them and how much their support and understanding will help you. And if the tears come, so be it. Tell them your body is going thru changes every minute and the worst might not be over, but their love and support will be the best thing for you. Give the dog an extra treat and pet for a few minutes. They are probaly more scared than you realize and need your reassurances too. Then do something together, where it's watch a movie, go for ice cream, but something that is special for your family.

Sometimes we get so caught in our pain and problems we forgot to see what our family is feeling. For years my DH didn't want to hear all the messy details and I kept a lot to myself, but now he asks almost daily how I REALLY feel and what has happened.

s I don't know one minute to the next what my emotions / mental state will be. I seem to be running the course - fine, mad as heck, crying, and so on. This is a very emotional time right now. Give your family a great big hug and tell them that you love them. This will all be over with soon and you will be on the road to recovery before you know it.

Shelby

All I have to say is ... ARE we the same person. I don't have a dog BUT I can say I was asking the kids to be quiet while we were in the car and they kept fighting so I turned up the radio which only made them louder then I turned it down and yelled "DID ANYONE HEAR ME TELL THEM TO SHUT UP!!" well I never say shut up and never so loud I couldn't talk after. AND let me till you it didn't end there Poor hubby didn't know what hit him when he called that night. He actually offered to get me a maid and told me to go have my nails done. I felt bad for him when he got home AND the rollercoaster is still going. for the last two days I have been CLEANING nonstop.. and today.. I feel like crap and don't want to do anything... UUGGHH!!

So you are just normal lol well not normal but as normal as we can be for what we are going through!!

gina