Tah: Scared Need Support

Hello everyone, my name is Jodi and I found this site while I was talking to a receptionist about my up and coming procedure, she said I had to come on here so that I can find inner peace with the fact that I was 21 years old with endometriosis and that I was to have a full hysterectomy yes they are taking it all. I took many many months to finally find out what was wrong with me, I was in and out of the emergency room many times and though I was in such bad pain they said it was just abdominal pain loaded me up with drugs and kicked me out the door. I started bleeding so bad that I was unable to leave the bathtub, so instead of returning to the same hospital I decided to go to another one where the Doctor said almost the minute I started speaking of my problems that she was 95% sure I had endometriosis. I am lucky enough that I met the man of my dreams and his three kids, he had decided long before he didn't want any more kids and I was heart broken it wasn't until I had been a mom for 3 years, and we finally had our first date while the kids were all shipped to school and the daycare bills were gone, that I realized maybe having another child wasn't in my best interest. Then when I was told that I had to get a full hysterectomy all I wanted was to have another child, when i went in to speak to my Dr about he said there would be no chance because the hospital I had previously been going to had let it go so long because they did not want to spend their money on someone who had no insurance, back to the fact my ovaries were so damaged there was no chance. I have come to conclusion that it is okay that I will not be able to have any more children but I feel as if I am losing my womanhood, and I hurt inside so badly. We made the choice ironically tonight that we would go forth with it and I will schedule the hysterectomy tomorrow <Monday>. I just need to hear from other woman who have had it done and who are getting done so that I may be a shoulder to cry on and vise verse. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to hearing from you!!!

Jodie:

It is a hard decision. However, I've seen others on this board and talked to ladies who have had a hysterectomy and say that they do not regret it. I'm hoping I'm among those ladies. I have my surgery tomorrow.

Maybe you can find ladies that are in your situation. My situation is different than yours. I don't have endo, at least I haven't been diagnosed with that. However, I have multiple problems in my uterus, ovaries, cervix, etc.

Best of luck.

I have 2 children. I had LAVH on Halloween. I can honestly say I do not miss my uterus one bit as far as feeling more/less feminine. I am thankful for the 2 children it gave me, but my pain is already better than before the hyst. Many women on this site grieve the loss of ability to have children. There are many who have never had kids or wanted to have more. Take the time to grieve this loss if you need to. It is a huge loss for many. For me, the hyst was the best way to go. I already feel better. No more heavy, painful periods. I am amazed at how quickly my pain went away! There are pain-free days ahead! Hang in there, you are not alone!

carrie

i had my surgery on oct 9, now at 6 weeks post op i do not regret it one bit. it is great not to have the pain and expense everymonth. even though i still look for it to show up. As for not feeling like a woman, get a new hair cut, go shopping buy a new outfit. good luck to you

Hi Jodie!
I am weepy as I read your post...Thank you for sharing your story with the rest of us. It is very emotional when you desire children, but cannot have them the way you envisioned. Do allow yourself the time to grieve. I am so glad that you have the support of your "dream man" and your 3 children! Celebrate them and what you have! Life will only get better now that you have made a decision ~ My TAH is scheduled for Dec 5th and I can say that although I still have some apprehensions over the surgery and recovery, I am looking forward to the benefits ~ Less pain, my life back and a better life with my family. I will keep you in my prayers, Jodie. Let us know how you are doing ~

You are so young to be dealing with all of this!

Since my TAH/BSO was due to cancer, I really didn't have a choice. But many, many of the ladies here who have had the surgery due to pain/bleeding/etc. report a tremendous improvement in their quality of life (usually fairly quickly, too).

My DH and I had decided not to have children (he's a bit older), but it's different when you can't. It turned out that I actually had endometriosis, also, and the doc said it would have been very difficult to conceive, anyway. (I'd been on birth control for years which I'm sure masked the symptoms)

ANYWAY, it's perfectly fine to feel however you feel. It differs for each of us. Just try not to lose sight of what you do have rather than focusing completely on what you will lose. And as for feeling feminine, we ladies ARE more than the sum of our parts. You're going to be a stronger, more beautiful young woman because of this. NOTHING will change who you truly are!

Best of luck to you as you begin your journey. We're here 24/7 when you need us!

Hugs!
monami