Breaking heart

Back at the end of August I lost my father to cancer. Two weeks later I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer, and was given 2 options for treatment. I opted for the TAH, even though I knew my boyfriend wanted kids. Having just lost my father to cancer, I needed to do this FOR MYSELF, regardless of what my boyfriend wanted - even though I knew in my heart it was the right decision for me.

Fast forward 3 months - I'm now moving back to California. The month and a half after my surgery my boyfriend shunned me. He felt "betrayed" by my decision, and alienated himself from me. After a month and a half of this treatment, my heart moved on.

Now that I'm leaving, he's pulling out all the stops and using emotional warfare to try to gain the upper hand. At least, that's what it seems like. He tries a new approach every day, and it's really wearing me down. I'm having to pack and get myself ready for a 3 day drive, and I end up dealing with all of this extra emotional crap. I'm just so sad and tired of it.

But...on a lighter note...I am following my dreams, and since making that one decision to do what is best for me, I feel more alive and more myself than at any other time in my life. The type of cancer I had was very aggressive, and I feel like I dodged a bullet!

Many thanks to you sisters who stood by me - and I hope to be keeping in contact once I'm settled in out there.

Much love-
Mel

I'm sorry you're having to go through this right now. I think it's better that you found out sooner rather than later that your BF would try to make you feel bad about a decision you had to make regarding your health, maybe even your life! You can do better than him. I will be picturing you driving away from your old life, toward a new one filled with happiness and new adventures. Don't allow him to bring you down because of what you needed to do. Good luck to you, and please let us know when you have landed safely in your new location.

So sorry that you are going through all of this! We have to take care of ourselves and make decisions that we don't want to make because we only have one life to live and in my opinion you did the right thing. Good luck with your new life!

Sorry things are so complicated..but follow that dream! I used to live in the Detroit area too...now I'm settled, for awhile, in Oklahoma. I will move on again now that I've spread my wings a bit. Hubby and I are quite nomadic! You DID dodge a big bullet! And you have your whole life to look forward to now. Best wishes on your move..never easy, but well worth it! I hope we hear from you soon...You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Live that life girl!!!!!

Safe Travel, Mellybug! I'll bet this is going to be a positive turning point in your life, and healing also. Life has handed you lemons, but sounds to me like you are making Lemon Meringue Pie!! The sunshine and warmer climate will do wonders for your emotions, and will help in clear thinking. It sounds like a good thing to me! Wish I could do something like that. Follow your dream, and be happy! please stay in touch with us.

Run like the wind Mellybug!
I had almost the same experience, atleast in regard to the aggressive Cervical Cancer and I too do not have children. I've had to make some tough decisions this past year, but in the end the only person who has to answer to those decisions has been me. You can only do what feels right for YOU. We are women, so it is inherent in us to take care of others, while ignoring our real needs. Balance is the key and most of us are out of wack!! :balanc:
The most important thing I've learned is to not ignore ourselves, accepting who we are as women, AND understanding that we are different from those around us. Even though we had the same cancer type, I'm sure our needs are different. For example, you're moving TO California and I'm ready to move OUT. LOL
Make peace with him, so that you can move on cleanly. Listen to your inner voice and you will never go wrong.
I wish you a safe, exciting journey, and welcome to California!!

Safe travels to you. My mother always says everything happens for a reason - we may never know exactly what that is. Who knows your dreams and your prince charming may be waiting for you in California!

Take Care!

Take care, have a safe trip, and be Blessed.

Have a wonderful trip and I hope that it turns out to be all that you want. This is the time in your life to chase your dreams. You certainly made the right decision.
I've had similar experience in the past. I dealt with infertility and after my divorce I was always straighforward with any guy I dated that I would never be able to have kids which turned out to be a dealbreaker a lot of the time. I met someone terrific who understood what he was getting into and we're very happy together.

Good luck Mellybug...what a story. Everyone else is right..you made the decision that is right for YOU. For your BF to expect you to put that off and risk your life for the possibility of kids is selfish & ignorant. You deserve more! Find him -- he's out there!
Best of luck -- your sisters are behind you!