Need Some Encouragement

Hello,
I am new on here and i have already introduced myself. my name is zoey and i am 22. i just got married may 06,06. i just had a hystorectomy novemeber 29th 06. since then i have been feeling up and down crying for no reason. i had a full hysto everything removed. i am on premarin. latleyI have been just feeling like i am alone. My husband has been great but i guess it's just better to share with people who have went through this too. i almost feel like a bad person when people tell me they just found out they are being blessed with family additions. i get upset not mad but it feel lie a dagger in the chest and i am not really happy for them. i say i am but i am not. i feel why cant i be her or why has this happen to me. I have snapped many times on friends and family and have had frequent crying outbursts. I guess i am just wondering if it's normal to feel this way? how long is it going to feel this way? is there anything out there that has helped anyone else deal with this? i guess i just need advice and a pick me up.

Honey, I'm not in your shoes, and havent been. But you have every right in the world to feel as you do. My heart aches for you. I just want you to know that I think you are an amazingly strong woman to be dealing with all that you are.
I wish that I had words of advice from experience. I would share them. But I promise you, I am going to hold you in my prayers. You will never feel totally happy for people, how could you, but you will find a peace. Most these people must feel bad sharing their news, OR SHOULD!
Your right, husbands are wonderful, But you will always need woman and their experiences and wisdom to share with too.
I wish I could do more than pray, but that I will.

I think that anyone who's had a year like yours would be feeling exactly the same way. I'd really suggest that you find a counselor that you can talk to. There are some really good ones who can help you sort out the confusion, anger, sadness, etc., that you're feeling. Sometimes husbands can help, but often they just don't understand all the emotions that we have and having someone you can trust to let it all out with would really make a difference. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers too and I'm sure you'll find this site to be a very comforting source of help.

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain right now.

It would be wonderful if the whole world could just stop spinning for a while, wouldn't it? You'd have a chance to try and get your bearings again and work through some of your pain and shock before having to deal with the stuff of ordinary life. Of course, you and I both live in the real world, which means that babies are born, people get married and divorced, and people die every day. It's just part of life.

I can absolutely understand that you'd have trouble with the news of others' pregnancies. It's completely natural and normal that you're going to find it difficult for a while (maybe a long while) to deal with this sort of news, and you may react in many different ways. Anger, tears, sadness... All are possible.

Of course, it's not realistic to expect people to temper their joy, or walk on eggshells around you. However, you may find that (at least for a while) it will be easier to distance yourself a bit when it comes to new babies and pregnant women. Why make it harder on yourself right now? Maybe you'll have to beg off for the next few baby showers and just send a gift along.

I wish I had a better response for you. I just want you to know that what you're feeling is absolutely normal. If you find that you just don't feel any better as the months go on, you may find it helpful to find a counselor to talk with. I'm not talking about years of therapy here -- just a few sessions with someone can make a world of difference as you're able to talk through your feelings.

Hi, It's so understandable for you to have those emotions running through you. I don't know if it will ever completely go away I just find that after time I have accepted the feelings and to let myself feel them. I found it particularly difficult when my sister in law had her lovely daughter as I felt it should have been me holding a bub. For a start I could'nt even be very close to my niece but I have worked my way through the emotions and now love spending time with her. Don't forget also there are other ways to have children in your lives for example adoption or even just babysitting for friends. Remember you are never alone. Sending Lots of
Kat

I'm 32 and had my hysterectomy in dec 06. I do have a son who just turned 14, but my husband & I struggled for 12 with infertiity trying to have another baby. My husband says I should be greatful for one. I am. However, I find my self upset too when friends are having babies. It's hard to be happy for people. I like you have no one in the same situation to talk to about it.

Dear Zoey, The other ladies have said it all, but I just wanted to send you a huge (((((((hug))))))). Of *course* it is normal to feel like this - they are *your* feelings and no-one can tell you how you *should* feel. After going through all you've been through you should never think of yourself as a bad person. For heaven's sake - you are a wonderful person who has had a major operation and is very early in her recovery. *Please* don't be so hard on yourself and allow yourself all the grief and emotions which are an entirely natural result of what you've been through. We all know how you feel. Love, L.

I hope you have gotten my emails to you. If not, email me.
I'm keeping you close in thought and prayer

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Just remember that we are here for you! I feel like I could have written part of your post. I try so hard to be happy for people when they are experiencing their life "blessings" but find myself miserable when the door closes or I hang up the phone. I wonder if they know sometimes I cry my eyes out or rant and rave after I talk to them. If only there was a timeline that we could follow so we would have some idea of when it got easier! Lots of hugs!!!!