Lack of Libido

I'm so frustrated right now....I'm at the end of my rope and don't really care to hang on any more. My husband has been constantly touching me in ways that I knew what he wanted, but I've had a head cold for a few days and just haven't been up to it. Well, when he doesn't "get any" for a while (it's only been a week) he gets this horrible attitude and grumpy. So, last night, even though I wasn't up to it, I took a shower, put on my prettiest lace nighty and offered him a "back rub". He turned me down. So this made me upset and it turned into a heated discussion about what I've been going through with libido, etc. I told him that if he knows I'm not up to "it" then he shouldn't touch me like he has been touching me. Just comfort me and give me normal hugs instead of grabbing me everywhere like he wants to rip my clothes off and head for bed. So then we started bringing up some other things that have been said in the past, etc. I was so upset and don't really feel he understands. Now he is in a bad mood and I'm afraid things aren't going to be too good for a few days. I wish men could understand the change our body and minds goes through with this surgery. I tried to explain, but he just doesn't get it.

I am so sorry your hubby is not being supportive. Guys underestimate the power of hormones. BSO can be pretty tough from what I read. Are you on hormone replacement? If so, they may need some adjusting. If not, it would explain some of the lack of libido. I had some hormone problems before my hyst that caused me to lose my libido. I know how rotten it is when you want to have that desire and it just won't happen. I suggest a visit with your doc about it. Maybe he/she has some suggestions that help. HUGS!

carrie

So sorry things are going badly. I know I'm still adjusting. My libido has been cut a bit, but my husband still thinks I'm an animal! I can't take hormones as I had endometrial cancer, and I know that the estrogen in my fat may run out...but I try to deal with it day by day. My husband is the understanding type, in fact I am the aggressor most of the time. I don't know what I would do if it were otherwise. Most men really can't begin to understand what we have been through. As if it weren't bad enough with the problems BEFORE the hysterectomy. Anyway, I hope you two can resolve your problem. Maybe you can find a good time to talk to him about your feelings...let him know you still love him, and that you are having trouble yourself understanding all the new feelings (at least I know I am). I think the whole healing process is slow. Some days we bounce ahead like there is no problem and then something comes along and BAM....we are shot down! You will be in my thoughts and prayers...I know it will work out!

thanks for your support and understanding....
I feel as if he thinks of nothing else but "getting some". Whether I feel up to it or not. I also feel that it's OK if he's not "in the mood", but if I'm not his attitude changes. So most of the time I give in and please him anyway to avoid the attitude and grumpyness. All I want to do is cry....i didn't sleep hardly at all last night.