need a little support

Hi, its me again, going through some ups and mostly downs... My fiance is having the feeling that I'm cheating... I am most definately not, by the way, I am just not in the mood at all lately...ever! Would anyone suggest anything like counseling or something... His biggest thing is that we are young...28ish.. and our parents are probibably getting more action than us... Which according to my mom, is true ( I talk to her about this stuff) I don't know what is wrong other than the fact that in the matter of 3 or 4 months I had a baby, my tubes tied, and a hysterectomy... the 6 mo. prior my fiance was out of work and the 6 mo. after he was too busy and tired from work to help with the kids or anything else... I don't know if the lack of libido is from all the crap I have gone through with medical or all the crap I've gone through in general... is this normal????

Is it painful for you or can you fake it? I have found that sometimes when I think I'm not in the mood but go for it anyway I end up enjoying it. It certainly is an intrinsic part of your relationship. If you just can't seem to do it mentally I would talk to your doctor. Maybe they need to alter your hormones.

It sounds like you have gone through a lot in a short period of time and you may need some counseling to deal with it. Maybe even take your fiance with you if you think it would help. Also sit down with him and truly tell him how you are feeling. I hope you feel better soon. You deserve it. Best wishes and just keep posting if you need to talk or send any one of us private messages. We are here for you. I am sending you lots of

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Originally Posted by DUTCHESSOFDEBT I don't know if the lack of libido is from all the crap I have gone through with medical or all the crap I've gone through in general... is this normal????

Female sexuality is very complex. A fairly high percentage of women will experience libido issues at some time in their life, whether they have had a hysterectomy or not. A lack of libido may be caused by any number of influences including relationship problems, hormonal fluctuations or other physical health issues or diseases, or environmental factors, for example. I think it would be wise to make an appointment with your family physician to discuss this. This is a common problem and doctors hear about it all the time. Help is available, so do yourself a favor and take advantage of it.

I hope that you find some answers soon.

Many s and Best Wishes,

I've been through times like you described emotionally in my relationship with my hubby (kids, out of work, lots of stress and just fustration in general!). Now add on top of that major surgery...it's all bound to take it out of you! Both my hubby and I realized that we had to patient with each other and ourselves , learn to laugh at ourselves again after being stressed out for so long, and try to focus on all parts of our relationship, including but not limited to the sex part. I think the other ladies have all posted good advice, seek help from your family dr. or a counselor, and try to really talk to your fiancee about how your feeling and see how he is feeling too. Best of luck and lots of luv!