Fear of Sex

I am a little timid about putting this out there, but my husband mentioned sex tonight and I immediately withdrew and found myself terrified and in tears at the prospect. I am only three weeks post op and while I have lots of sexual drive and interest, I am afraid! I have always had some fear of sex anyway but this is much larger in scope. Has anyone else encountered this?

Alot of us have. My suggestion to you, which was given to me, when the dr. releases you....a bottle of wine, soft music and RELAX. Take your time, go slow. It will all work out.

Best wishes

Wendy

Sex was the furthest thing from my mind when I was three weeks post-op. Don't worry, you'll be feeling better with each passing day and when the time comes, you'll know it.

My doctor told me I could resume relations at 4 weeks out and I still couldn't even fathom the thought even though I was feeling better.

Like I said, you'll know when the time is right but don't feel you have to do it just because you're cleared for it, it took me almost 7 weeks out I think. I'm glad too, because my fears were gone by then.

I'm 10 weeks out and still haven't done the deed. The testosterone I am on does help my drive but I can't seem to get past the fear. Not sure what I fear most.. physical pain or the mental effect of sex feeling different. (or is it the weight I've gained?)

BTW at 3 weeks post op you shouldn't be even thinking about having sex!

Both my husband and I fear our first night of whoopee. He's so afraid of hurting me I'm sure both of us will have to a bottle of wine each with lots of sweet talk before we can relax.

I'm four weeks post op and my doctor said, "Nothing in the vagina until I give you the okay. Understood!" My vaginal cuff isn't healing as fast as he would like. He injected silver nitrate on Wednesday to speed the process. So hopefully in two weeks I'll be almost ready to enjoy my husband again.

Just remember if you had a total hysterectomy you will have trouble with lubrication. My doctor suggested Astroglide. It works but it is messy. You will have to experiment with the amount. and believe me if you don't use enough...you WILL know immediately. It will get easier, I promise. Make sure you don't do anything too soon and follow your dr.'s orders.

I was cleared at 5 weeks, but we ended up waiting a couple more weeks because I was really scared. The first time, I was tense--waiting for something to come apart! It was fine, though. It does get better each time--Astroglide works great. I just about died, though, when I went to buy it at the local CVS--couldn't get out of there fast enough! LOL!

Your not alone in this fear. I'll be 6 weeks next week & dh is coming to appt. with me anxiously awaiting the all-clear and I'm still thinking "What?"! I think instead of a bottle of wine, I'm going to do tequila shots - LOL! I'm sure the fear will be completely unfounded but I too feel like I'll come completely undone plus my tummy is so sore I can't imagine. Off shopping today for the lubricant - feel like I should wear a big hat & dark glasses to hide my emberrassment at the checkout counter - oh well, I'll be laughing about this someday.

I'm really scared too - 5 weeks post op. My dr. said to wait till at least 6 weeks - so I'm thinking 3 weeks is probably way too soon.

Tell your husband how you're feeling - it helps to talk about it.

I'll let you know when we've tried!

Try not to be scared. Like I said, even though I was cleared for "takeoff" so to speak at four weeks post op, I just knew that my body didn't feel ready for it at all.

By the 6-7th week though, I felt so normal that I did think about it and we did it with no problem at all. No pain or anything I was fearing about sex in all aspects if you know what I mean.