Bad day of nerves

Hi out there!

Had a pretty good weekend, bought new pj's and new comforter for the bed. Easter day started out a little rough because I kept thinking about that if something went wrong it could be my last Easter with my little one. Pushed those thoughts away and had a pretty good day. I even finally told my hubby about being worried I might die. After telling him it was like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Today is another story...I am 2 weeks away from the surgery and all I can do is cry. I am sooooo scared. Last week I did talk to a friend of mine who is a nurse and asked her about how rare it is to die in surgery and she reassured me it was very very rare. That just doesn't seem to help today. Please help I just don't know what to do...it truly feels like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. I have been on them before through the infertility and the adoption but this is completely different, I feel so out of control. I should be playing with my little one right now, but instead I am on here babbling to you all and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for listening!!! I did like what I think historylady (sorry if I got the name wrong) said in one of the posts somewhere that April is the best time to have surgery. It made me smile.

Waiting is definately the hardest part. Check with your doctor and see if they can give you something to get thru this part. Most are pretty good about it.

I found that keeping myself busy was the thing that worked for me....doing things around the house that I knew I couldn't do for awhile....cleaning, preparing meals and freezing them for recovery...wallpapering, ripping up old carpet, etc.

Best wishes

Wendy

Hi, waiting for surgery is very difficult. I remember back in May of 2002 when I was waiting for my TAH, which was my first surgery ever, that was all I could think about. I was very scared too, and especially afraid of the anesthesia.

I've since had two other surgeries (three total - one of those was four hours long) and another procedure under anesthesia and am waiting now for a laser surgery (also under anesthesia) on May 9. After all that, surgery doesn't scare me at all anymore. You just shut your eyes and then what seems a moment later, you open them again and it's all over.

Hang in there, okay? It'll be over soon, and you'll wonder what you were ever afraid of.

s and prayers,

Do things that you are in control of....make to do lists for shopping, write out your child's normal routine for whomever is taking care of her when you are at the castle, pack, cook, and clean. Doing things that you are in control of is helping me I have 4 girls and I go in this friday for my tah. My youngest is 2 so I am writing down her normal routine throughout her day what she likes to eat, watch on tv, songs she likes to sing, etc. For my 4 yr old making a list of her favorite websites and books. My older 2 are selfsufficient but writing down their morning routine for school (bus times) and after school routine with dinner and homework, and of course bedtime routine (you know they will try to stay up later - lol). Just have faith in God and your doctor and everything will be ok. You said you adopted your child I am pretty sure God didn't let him or her find you just to take you away...I am sure God has a long plan for you to be a part of this child's life. Just take a deep breath and say a little prayer and concentrate on what you have control over now....everything will be fine for us all. Sending you prayers for relaxation and speedy recovery. Good luck.

Thank you all!!! I am feeling better tonight. Talked to the onocolgist office today. He is assisting my gyn and doing my pre op. I told the lady there that I was very nervous about dying and she said "he hasn't lost one on the table yet"...I chuckled. He has ordered a colonoscopy for the day before my surgery to make sure nothing is blocked since the cysts are sitting on my colon. After that conversation I thought about how much weight I could lose from not eating for several days and those cysts have to weigh something so once those are gone and the organs too...who knows It is great to have this site to come to and know that I am not alone in this. I am off to bed to get some rest, thanks again.

Hi to Mistic33,

Good luck on your surgery on the 13th. It was so cool what you said about thinking that God didn't give me my son the way he did just to take me away from him. A friend of mine had pretty much said the same thing to me last month. How cool to think two different people saying the same thing...I was so excited by that I could barely sleep. Thank you!!! Hugs to you!!!!!