Two weeks post-op and hubby's out golfing!

I think my family just kind of switched gears today. I am two weeks post op and I got the ok to drive now so everyone just quit caring! What? I only get two weeks of concern? It's like I woke up and no one asked me all day how I was feeling. It was only yesterday when they were bring me food! I still can't lift! what a rip off!
Jen

You had more time than I got. I got a lousy 3 days and that was it. My dd did take the laundry up and down the stairs but complained about it the whole time. My dh went back to work after the 3 days were up. I know that I had a easier surgery than some but still needed the help. I also got to drive at 2 weeks so then everyone thought I was healed and just left me to do what I normally did. Please don't over do it. You are not alone, we are here for you. Have a nice day.

Maybe you are doing too much so they think you are all better. I could not drive for 4 weeks, so DS ans DD had to drive me around, do the laundry and help get groceries (I just walked beside them and filled the cart)
You need to pamper yourself and just tell them - "I feel like crap and need your help" My DH went to play golf the day after I got home, but I was glad to have the house to myself and slept most of the time anyway.

It might be time to have a "fit" and let your family know you are still recovering from major surgery, you are tired and don't feel good.

Good luck,

Mary Beth

It is amazing how everyone associates "getting up and doing something" with the ability to get up and doing everything. Just keep reminding them by letting them know that you need to go rest for a while.

Hi (((Jen)))
I think it's natural for them to want things to go back the way they were. This is a test and you're the teacher. Please don't let them dictate your recovery. Listen to your body and don't do anything you aren't ready to be doing. Two weeks is still very early in recovery. You can't be lifting and bending and all that.
Review your Checkpoints and make sure you don't compromise good healing. Stay calm, but let your family know you can't resume life as you all knew it before for several more weeks.
Just a caution to all my TVH sisters. You may not have an incision on the outside, but you have them internally and they take just as long to heal. Please take care of yourselves and don't forget to

's, Rita

Hey cats & paddy,

This is where you have to be tough! I had a somewhat similar response to being released for "everything" at 4 weeks. Just don't do it. Do only what you can safely and comfortably do, and no more. Start by gathering them all together, and announcing that although you have been "released" by your surgeon, that does not mean that you are able to go back to your full level of prior activities. Print out the appropriate check point articles for the ones that can read. Emphasize that lifting, pushing, pulling, twisting, bending are motions that you will be very limited in doing for awhile longer, and that they will all need to help you if the household is to run smoothly. Plan ahead what you are going to say, and be specific - I need the trash carried out every evening, I need someone to carry the laundry I have sorted to the washer and put it in. I will add the detergent, and select the proper cycle. You will need to come back and put the load into the dryer. I will need a person to vacuum / mop the floors.......

Leave things partially done, so everyone else in your house will see, i.e., sort all the laundry into loads, but don't carry it to the washing machine, get the groceries by having the store clerk load your car, and when you get home, only bring in the cold stuff - leave everything else in the car for your family to unload! Pick a day (or evening) for house cleaning, and announce at breakfast, or dinner the night before that "I will need everyone's help with house cleaning from ____ to _____ tomorrow." If they argue and give you twelve reasons why they can't, then say to them that the house will just have to stay dirty, because you can't do it by yourself.

When you do get cooperation, thank them profusely, and work along with them as much as possible - if someone is vacuuming, you can dust. While a helper is cleaning the toilet and bathtub, you can clean the sink and the top of the vanity, and maybe the mirror on the wall. I even managed to change the bed linens with the help of my DS, who did all the lifting, pulling. My daughter and sister made Thanksgiving dinner for a big family gathering, with me sitting in a swivel chair they brought into the kitchen so that I could coach them through the cooking, and tell them where to find things - everyone stuck around for the clean-up, with my verbal help to tell them where to put things away.

I have rambled on here, but the point is if you act like you need help, and are specific about what help you need, you are more likely to get some assistance. I found that my family was pretty willing, most of the time, but that I also needed to tell them what help I needed, and how to do it. If you had a broken arm or leg, with a visible cast to remind them of your injury, no one would expect you to do something you couldn't do. The plan is to remind them, gently but frequently, by asking for help with every task, or part of a task, that is too much for you. Good luck.

{{paddymc & cats3}}
*lol*

I am not laughing at you but over men, kids, and the dung we go through each time we get ill.

They do seem to think you are 100% when you are allowed to drive, wash a dish, etc...

Maybe they need reminding of what you went through, how much heal time is really needed, and what you can can and can't do.

I'd print out the check points and stick it in their lunches .

(((Jen))) Sorry you're not feeling well today.

While of course you shouldn't be "doing for others" (as in cooking meals or doing laundry or any such foolishness ), it's probably good for you to get up and prepare simple things for yourself. (My dh managed to make me my peanut butter toast, but that's really the extent of his cooking skills other than dialing 1-800-PIZZA, if you catch my drift.) Pace yourself and just do what you feel you can do.

I doubt your family has stopped caring but it's a shame if they really have. Whatever they are feeling, though -- just keep taking care of yourself, calmly and without fuss. (The stress of getting after your family is not good for your recovery -- plus, you might end up saying something you'll regret. Better to just focus on yourself right now. )

We're always here to lend an ear, and the is always on when you need to talk.

My DH only took the day of my surgery off, and that was because it was his day off anyway! The Dr said I couldn't drive till at least my 2 week check up but his nurse, said 3 weeks. Because I am the only driver here, and DH has not been kind and pampering, I am going to take the 3 week driving prohibition, even if the Dr says it is OK after my appt on Monday. At least as long as the DH is at work anyway ( grin).
Blessings,

Maureen

Vervette,

Don't push it - you will be surprised how much driving tires you out and how much pushing the pedels pulls on your tummy.
Mary Beth