Hi. Can anyone tell me if they have been having sex with a rectocele and does it not damage your bowel/rectum to have the pressure/friction of intercourse? That is what I am afraid of and why I have no desire to have sex, I don't want to make the rectocele any worse than it is. Any thoughts?
I'm also interested to see how you ladies with rectoceles have dealt with the sex issue? My dr. insists it will not be a problem, but I can't see how it wouldn't be.
Aside from the concerns Anne listed above I have also wondered if having the added pressure on the rectocele might not give you the urge to "go"?
I have not even been cleared for sex yet as I still have undissolved stitches and bleeding, but the thought of doing it scares me (and my husband I might add).
In the time between the hyst and repair DH and I had sex a few times. It felt to me like he was going to push thru the back wall but I am sure that was just how it felt. How it felt was one of the things I factored in when deciding on repair. I know the risk of painful sex after repair and I figured it was worth the gamble since I did not like how it felt without repair.
I do not see how sex can damage anything as it is the muscle between the vaginal wall and the colon that is not holding. Your colon is still on the other side of your vaginal wall...the bulge you feel is your colon but you still have the vaginal wall there. As for the urge to go, I always have a BM in the morning and I am done for the day. We always fool around at night but if there was any stool left I personally would have been worried it would get pushed out.
One thing you may find after repair though is that when you have to go...you have to go NOW. It is so rigid after repair that you can have accidents if you dont get right to the bathroom pretty fast. I am lucky that I get up and within a few minutes I go and that is it. Others have not been quite so lucky.
There is a good chance of painful sex after repair. Some of us are experiencing it now. I think a suture is causing me some grief but if it is scar tissue instead my PT says she can break it down so it will not be as bothersome. I will know more tomorrow. Either way, there is not an easy fix and you need to think of all the angles!
I lived with my rectocele for probably 8 years before I had it repaired, I would say no if I felt constipated, or if I knew we wanted to do something I would do my warm water enema before my bath at night. Use lots of lubrication and laying on your back makes it more in place, I was in a catch-22 postion as I had both a cystocele & rectocele, but we managed. I also felt very 'raw' inside, I complained to my gyn and I started taking premarin creme and that helped a lot, in fact I still take it. Hugs and good luck to you guys.
to the ones that have been experiencing problems in this area. We have not yet been released for sex (hopefully next Thursday at my 6 wk. post-op). I have noticed that when I lie down, everything seems to go back into place. I'm very nervous about the first time, but I know my husband will be understanding and patient. Last night, I told him that I wanted to have a glass of wine to relax, light a candle, do some body massage, have the Silk on hand, etc. before we ever attempt anything. At least I know that I'm still able to achieve the Big O, since we have had outercourse earlier this week, and it doesn't appear that it is any different than before.
I'm looking forward to more replies to this thread to see what others' experiences have been.
Wistful, those are all things DB and I do to get in the mood. We call it "lotion night" and it helps alot to be in a good frame of mind. My Dr recommends starting our on top so you have all the control and can easily stop if it is uncomfortable. One thing I read awhile back is that just because you are cleared for it does not mean it will feel good. Don't get discouraged...sometimes it takes a couple of times to get to the enjoyment part.
Kathi, I guess not having high expectations the first few times is the best way to approach it.
I'm still dealing with the fear of "loss" of our previous physical relationship. Actually, once we can make an attempt, at least I won't have to wonder anymore. I'll sort of have an idea of what we're dealing with. Just trying to stay positive, and not give hubby any reason to doubt himself (all we need on top of my insecurities is for him to have ED).
I had repairs for cystocele, rectocele, enterocele and a vaginal vault suspension. I lived with the cystocele for 18 years and the others came about 3 years post TAH/BSO. I really don't believe having sex made them worse. My beloved Uro/gyn had a talk with my hubby right after my surgery and told him he did alot of work in me (he's so straightforth!) and sex is to be slow and gently the first few times after he gives me the okay. My doctor told me most couples find a personal lubricant helpful. I am also on Vagifem 2x a week to keep all the tissues "plump" (to quote my uro/gyn). I will admit the first time I was very nervous about having pain, but I have to say I was fine. After that, everything just got better and better. With all those nasty "celes" taken care of sex is ALOT more enjoyable!
Anne, I probably had the rectocele for about 6 years before I did anything about it. As a matter of fact the cystocele which was Grade 2 bothered me more than the rectocele which originally was Grade3-4. I didn't have any problems with sex, it didn't make the rectocele worse. When the first prolapse repairs failed I still didn't have any problems with sex. My problems began after the second repair which was done with synthetic mesh.
As I explained in a previous post, a rectocele is nothing more than a vaginal hernia. The bulge is still covered with vaginal tissue, it's just thinner.
Well, DH & I gave it a go this weekend. All went well. I did feel, at the VERY end, like he was bumping or pushing the rectocele and like I was about to have a BM. Didn't, but it killed my O. At least it didn't hurt. I was just distracted trying to keep stuff IN! Since then, it feels like the rectocele isn't there (or at least not very much). I know they don't go away, so am not sure what's up. If I remember right though, yours is much worse. Take it slowly and Good Luck! LJC