dad died a couple of days ago my surgery in a couple of weeks

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This must be devastating right now, especially with all the emotions we go through when dealing with a hysterectomy. However, it sounds like your surgery is very important for your health and it seems from what I have read that your family depends on you big time. If you need to be there for them it would be best if you were healthy. It would be so nice if someone could come and take this burden from your shoulders. This is too much for one woman to bear. You will be in my prayers that you find comfort and peace through all your trials.

God bless you,

Liz

First, I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what your going through.
I lost my 9 year old step son just this past December, he was hit by a car and killed instantly. and like you with everything going on I almost became numb to everything.
I believe you have to do what is best for you emotionally and physically. I believe that your dad just like my son would want us to make sure we do what needs to be done to remain healthy and strong.
I am not going to lie it is one of the hardest things to go through I have two other boys and I am trying to stay strong for them. I know right now it makes no sense and all you can ask is why... But I believe everything happens because that is the way it is meant to be.
When it comes to surgery I just tell myself that it is what my son would want me to do and that he will be right there by my side the whole time.
This may sound crazy but I will tell you what I think of that keeps me going to the castle. If you have ever been on a plane remember what they tell. "If anything should happen on the plane please put "YOUR OWN" oxygen on FIRST no matter who needs help next to you because if you don't put yours on first you will only survive 3 minutes without it, so then what good would you be to anyone else.
I hope this helps a liitle. If you need to talk,cry,laugh or just share a story olease email. I send HUgs
Catherine

Rancher -

I am so sorry for your loss. I would say go along with the advice of your Dr. My Dr was very concerned about my liver Post-Op due to my alien that was pressing up. Last liver function test was 'normal' again so I am glad but I do realize delays could have had significant complications.

And this might sound twisted but this might be what your DH needs. There was nothing he could do for your dad and men are 'fixers'. Not being able to 'fix' things is hard on them. So your needing him will give him something to focus his attention on. It will also allow you the time you need to grieve.

I really hope this doesn't sound umm odd. I wish you peace for your grief and best wishes for a smooth surgery and recovery,

Julie

I don't have any advice but wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers!

Rancher,

You have my deepest sympathy. You and your family are in my prayers!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by laughnowcrylatr Rancher - I am so sorry for your loss. I would say go along with the advice of your Dr. My Dr was very concerned about my liver Post-Op due to my alien that was pressing up. Last liver function test was 'normal' again so I am glad but I do realize delays could have had significant complications. And this might sound twisted but this might be what your DH needs. There was nothing he could do for your dad and men are 'fixers'. Not being able to 'fix' things is hard on them. So your needing him will give him something to focus his attention on. It will also allow you the time you need to grieve. I really hope this doesn't sound umm odd. I wish you peace for your grief and best wishes for a smooth surgery and recovery, Julie

I can totally see what Julie means about your DH. My DH thinks (and tells me) all the time that he is here to fix everything... no matter how hard I try to explain that he can't fix everything, he still feels like he should at least be trying to fix it all. I agree that your DH will probably feel better having the task/job of tending to your needs after your surgery. He will probably feel usefull again, like he is helping someone... because he will be... he will be helping YOU.

I definitely do not want to seem like I am telling you what to do, but you should trust your doctor. Do not put yourself in more danger due to fears. I keep having to remind myself of the same thing. My dr assures me the best he can that nothing will go wrong... and deep down I believe him wholeheartedly... does that mean I have no fears? No, I still have tons of them, but deep down in my heart I have faith... faith that God will guide my dr's hands during my surgery... faith that everything happens for a reason and that things will all work out.

I wish you the best of luck, not only in your surgery, but in your ability to make time for yourself to grief your loss. I send many s your way.

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss as well and hope and pray all goes well with you. I agree with the others...... listen to your doc.

thanks everyone for your support you will never know how much it meant. Getting ready for surgery.

Daughter -

I'll be sending positive thoughts your way. You'll be so glad to have this behind you.

Julie