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Needing some extra support and have questions please Needing some extra support and have questions please

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Unread 05-29-2007, 08:23 PM
Needing some extra support and have questions please

xxxxxxxxxHi I am nearing my operation date,suffering from anxiety and nightmares galore.I bet I could give stephan king a run for his money heh heh heh. I am not sleeping well either, I so wish I could sleep longer than 2-4 hours a night. I seem to have more hot flashes as well-any given time now. my sexual life is null,as I am still flowing strongly. So, I was wondering if I may ask my fellow hyster sisters for some very much needed support and questions will be blunt so i mean no offense to anyone with these.
1-how can I sleep longer?medication use is not an option due to my disability meds.
2-how to stop these nightmares?they form around my fears alot.
3-when operation is over-should I wear depends in case of leakage as I try to get up and wround the first few days after surgury?I was told we tend to leak alittle as pain is bad in first few days-it true?
4-what should i buy for supplies before i go in monday -things i will need for myself/hygiene/etc....
5-will this really hurt a lot? I know she is going in my tummy with a something oscopy to see,then removing my ovaries-vagina-cervix-apendix. I will not have 1 long cut across,she's using this oscopy method and by my vagina.I have been told some horror stories on the pain from all this.I am scared a lot on this matter! my hubby reassuews mw as well as family,but it not calming me down 1 bit.I'd like to hear it from other hyster sisters who been through it themsleves,the modern way of it -not olden days.
these next few questions are very-very embarrassing for me to ask,please be understanding.
3-how may I as I am bleeding non stop(which is why I am having full hysterectomy and appendix and ovaries it all coming out) have sexual release partial or full, with my hubby with no intercourse before and afterwards? I mean,well,how will I get some affections and give afftections as well?I have had null sexual activity for so long,I am crying from this.lonliness inside myself. I was wondering if someone out here may have advice on this subject.I would love to recieve emails on this very very much-i really would. it'd mean a lot to me.I tried to read stories here,but well,so many I not finding these answers.please no advice or thoughts are too small or too big.please,please email me with your words of wisdom or thoughts. I am sooooo scared. I go in tomorrow,wednesday to see my surgeon,then I go across to hospital,to see the antitheisest(person putting me to sleep)and find out what time I go in on monday june 4th.
I am so scared of this operation,yet excited.I can laugh 1 minute and cry [sometimes over 30 minutes]for no reason the next.I get angry so easily now,which is not part of who I am.I just want to curl up and cry until this is all over with.but I make myself go outside for walks,go to park to read my books,go out with my hubby [who has been so great through all of this for over 3 years,and who I will give the biggest honor medal when it's all over and done and I am healed]. does this make any sense? I am sooo sorry for such a long letter. I honestly have no one here to talk to about all this,and well, I know here I can be honest and know someone or many understand what I am feeling.thank you all for letting me air this out,I truly am scared of so much,not knowing mostlyI think is my biggest one.these questions speak of it .Love to all and I anxiously await your advice.
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Unread 05-29-2007, 08:51 PM
Needing some extra support and have questions please

first take a deep breath and relax. I know it is hard, but just think just a few more days and no more bleeding. I didn't bleed alot afterwards or did I have a lot of leakage. I had my surgery 5 yr ago so my memory is not as clear as it once was.
As for supplies, a small travel pillow is first thing you need to buy it will help to hold against your tummy when sneezing or coughing. Then lots of easy things for dh to cook and healthy snacks for you while you C-Sections that I could handle anything, but the pain was different, don't be shy ask for pain meds and make sure you take them when you get home. This is not a time to be brave.
Talk to dh this is a time that you need extra holding and cuddleing. I know it is hard when you feel that you need that sexual release. And know that when this is all over and the 6 weeks are up, it will be all worth it. Sometime before your 6 weeks are up get something like ky jelly, it will help that first time.

Good luck and know that alot of people are praying for you.
You can email me at if you have any questions or just need someone to vent to or ask questions,
Unread 05-29-2007, 08:54 PM
Needing some extra support and have questions please

I know how it is to be scared of this surgery. I cried till I got sick then the day of the surgery I was crying and so scared the Dr. put me out before I even left the room before you go to surgery.I don't have all the answers for you and I wish I did the only thing I can tell you is what I experienced. I don't know about the sleeping I still have a hard time sleeping for any length of time. The nightmares well like you said it is from your fears I had them and I still do to some extent but its just that we get scared and it is very tramatizing to us so I guess it takes awhile for that to subside. I did not leak after surgery not even a little but you need to remember everyone is different. I bought TUX sanitary wipes they helped me well maybe in my head they did but I laid them on my pad and wore them because of the cooling effect. I had a TVH with A&P repairs I don't know about the laproscopy I had one of those when I had a tubaligation done and it really was not that bad.I know that anxiety can be awful I have anxiety and panic attacks but I asked my DR. for something to keep me calm a week before the surgery and they did give me meds. to help make me less scared. As far as sex goes I feel so sorry that you have not been able to be intimate with DH . Its been 6 wks and 3 days and I feel lonely and just feeling unloved I guess but you need to do what the dr. says is best for you as we all do. This is a major surgery and you have every right to be scared and it is normal to have these feelings. But you should thank God for your husband and how much he is understanding what you are going through. You really do need to get him a medal. I hope you are able to calm down and understand that it is going to be okay. I am so afraid of needles and of pain heck I don't like to go for blood work I almost pass out everytime but I did it and I am okay and it really is not that bad if you can calm down and not work yourself into a frenzy. I know I'm a good one to talk but this should make you laugh my family told me that when I was in recovery I kept saying I'm trying to be a big girl. And I am 43 years old. Its okay to be scared and have these feelings and we here at hystersisters are here for you if you need to talk. Good luck with your surgery and don't forget to ask the Dr. for some nerve pills to keep you calm for the big day at the castle.. Need us we are here don't forget YOU ARE NOT ALONE........ Big hugs to you and we will be praying for you. I hope this helped some.. Best wishes for a sppedy recovery!!!!!!!
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Unread 05-29-2007, 09:09 PM
Needing some extra support and have questions please

Yeah I forgot Jacqui is right the pillow for your stomach is wonderful it does help.. I can't believe I forgot that I carried mine around all the time for 3 weeks.
Unread 05-29-2007, 09:58 PM
Needing some extra support and have questions please

Take lots of deep breaths in slowly & let them out slowly.
It is scary not knowing what is going to happen. Remember that your dr & the operating room staff, recovery room staff & staff on surgical ward are all trained to take the best care of you. We all go through lots of emotions before the surgery & our imaginations can get the better of us. Mine sure did. For some strange reason the last couple of days before surgery I was calm & all my fears went away.

Sounds like you are getting to sleep, but not staying asleep. You could try warm milk at bedtime & see if that helps any. I personally can't stand warm milk so heat it up & add it to hot chocolate mix. I know with hot flashes that probably doesn't sound great.
Try the deep breathing before you go to sleep concentrating on just breathing in & out. I use this as my mind has trouble shutting down.

Also try deep breathing when you wake up from a nightmare.

I did not have any bleeding just a bit of spotting the first couple of days & no leakage. The hospital provided all the pads, etc needed in the hospital & even sent some home with me.
Take the pain meds in the hospital on a regular basis even if you don't think you need it to stay on top of the pain instead of letting it get ahead asit is harder to get it under control again. Take the pain meds when you get home. You need to rest to heal & being in pain will not help you rest and heal.

The only things I brough to the hospital that I used was toothbrush & toothpaste, hand cream comb & LIP BALM.
You will need the pillow mentioned by n1jacqui to hold on your somach when you cough & they encourage you to do this on a regular basis - taking in a deep breath & then coughing to help get rid of gas.

People do tend to tell horror stories
I expected to be in a lot of pain & was quite surprised that it was no where near what I had expected. I am a wimp & made sure I kept up the pain meds in the hospital & I think it did help me heal. When I got home I did nothing. My DS did whatever needed doing.

It sounds like your DH is a good support for you. Pehraps you could get him to read the Mens page on the site.

Print out the pre op question list to take to your doctor's appointment tomorrow. Perhaps if she answers some of the questions your fear will not be as strong.

Remember there are no dumb questions & everyone has different concerns according to what they are going through.

I will be thinking of you & hope you get some of your concerns answered by the dr.

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