i think i'm going to chicken out

first, thanks so much for listening...especially when everyone around me keeps dodging this issue.

my op is scheduled 8-8. i've been headed down this road for some time. my troubles started with ov. cysts, then came the endo, then the dermoid cyst/teratoma, adhesions, possible adenomyosis (dr suspects but says only true confirmation is determined after hysto). i've also had a history of heavy/painful periods (but they aren't quite so bad nowadays since my last lap. surgery a year ago for adhesions/mild endo)

my reasons for this op is not just all of the above (i've had my share of laparoscopic surgeries) because for the most part until they start acting up, i'm fine. the main reason is that at times sex is excrutiating. i rarely have an encounter where i'm not in pain (all the while telling my husband i'm okay because if i 'fessed up it'd ruin the encounter). there are some positions that aren't nearly as bad, but not nearly as satisfying either.

dr. has never suggested alt. tx. i'm scared that after this op my symptoms are going to remain the same and i will have had the surgery (and risked alot of negative side effects) for naught. i feel like backing out because i only feel really bad during/shortly after sex, sometimes here or there through the month, but never as dibilitating as i've read some other members post. i just wonder if i've overreacted or maybe i need a little more time.

(and i am soooo sorry this turned into a book...i've been bottling this up so much it all just spilled out)

	Quote:
only feel really bad during/shortly after sex,

And that's not enough?

To have to lie to your husband so he doesn't worry while you are in pain?

You don't deserve to enjoy sex either???

Well, maybe - just maybe - the surgery won't make it better. But for sure, if you don't get the surgery, it won't get better. Endo will grow.

You can keep trying band-aid approaches like you have before - that is entirely up to you.

Maybe you think the pain right now is ok, it's good enough.

But good is the enemy of 'best'.

And you deserve the best.

JMO

Oh, I know exactly what you mean!!! I was just suggesting to my friend 15 minutes ago that maybe it isn't that bad and I should put off the surgery. I mean, really, the pain can be managed with narcotics and its not like I have to take them all the time. And, I haven't made a big deal of my pain and let it keep me from doing things. BUT after the talk, HONESTLY, how long have we been putting up with NOT feeling 100%? LONG! It is time we made the big jump and maybe it won't work but hey, maybe we will be so incredibly happy that we made the move that we will wonder how come it took so long to get the stupid hysterectomy? I don't know. But I can say that this waiting is the worst. I hope I don't chicken out!!!! Good Luck!

I can relate -- it's tempting to out.
You still have time to think about your options before your surgery. Exploring the issue further and discussing it with your husband might provide more clarity. It's a big decision. Quality of life is a valid reason to have the surgery. Sex and intimacy are an important part of a woman's life. Every woman deserves to be pain-free during those meaningful encounters. I don't think you're overreacting. Your concerns are reasonable. If you decide you need more time give yourself the space to take it. There's nothing wrong with taking time until you're sure that this is what you want. My rule of thumb in life is that if I'm not sure about what I should do I don't take action until I know what I want. Meanwhile, I research, research, research. Your surgery date is a ways off. Take this time (between now and your surgery date) to explore how you feel. -- Laura

lilolme...I played the "it's not so bad" game for a very long time. In fact, once I committed to the surgery, changed my date 2 times. Had the GYN and his staff I am sure taking bets to see if I would do it. Even tried to leave the recovery room after I was all done! LOL with that one! Anyway, I feel better than I have in a long time, no pain and I feel so much llighter. My GYN couldn't believe the size of my uterus ( I still don't know how big it was), but he had to section it out. Haven't tried the sex yet, but am optimistic. Let's just say that I wish I hadn't wasted the first two dates chickening out. FOr the first time in over twenty years, I don't feel pain and pressure, I have energy and I can walk without it feeling like I had a bowling ball inside me. And all this without me even knowing I had adenomyosis! Only you know what you can endure, but for this , having the surgery was the best I have done in a long time. Good luck to you!

Hi all

I felt just like you did before my surgery but I can tell you that when you can have sex without all that pain it's amazing what difference it makes! I hadn't realised that I'd just got used to the pain and having to adapt positions etc. but it's been six months since my surgery and I'm still amazed that for the first time in 20 years sex doesn't hurt!

I think a lot of us go through the "well, it's not so bad" but actually we do deserve to have a pain free time of it for a change.

I wish you all the very best,
take care
spanner

I totally understand, but let me tell you from experience, it only gets worse. For about 10 years it mainly hurt after sex or that time of month. Now it is to the point of all the time. But, talk to your doctor about other options. I have had lapro, cryo and other procedures that actually would help for awhile. Life is to short to be in pain and not enjoying life. These problems have put a major strain on my marriage at times. Good luck and take care.

Hi , im so glad ive found this site as i feel a whole lot better knowing that there are other women feeling exactly like i do. My hysterectomy is scheduled for 12th july (not sure how its going to be done till they go in and have a look), very similar to yourself i get very bad pain which can be bearable some months and excruciating the next and other times i feel fine - hence ive put the hysterectomy off once before, i feel is it justified putting my self through such a big operation when i can be pain free - but on the other hand if i dont get it done ill always be wondering WHAT IF ! . so lets both go get it over and done with and thankyou for your posting as its so reasuring to know my thoughts and worries are exact to someone eles.

I have to agree, I finally got to the point where I realize that I deserve to feel normal! After 12+ years of being in pain, suffereing through heavy periods, pain meds, etc. I deserve to be able to go on vacation without worrying that I will spend one of those days in bed. Also my kids deserve a full time mom and not someone who has to lay down because her back hurts constantly.

You deserve the same things as well! I think you are making a good decision for yourself.

Don't chicken out, you will thank yourself later.