My BF Won't and Hasn't Looked at My Incision Yet

Okay I know this sounds silly and I hope this is okay to bring up. Wording this is even awkward as to getting to the meaning of what I am trying to convey.

I am starting 5 weeks recovery and my incision, albeit tender and sore, is healed on the outside. I have joked half heartedly with him after every shower asking him if he was ready to look at it yet. Hoping that he would say yes. Its on the bikini line.

Tonight I asked him seriously and he won't look at it. He says "You know how I feel about stuff like that." He gets squeamish watching ER. Well, tonight it hit me funny. My incision is a part of me now and I don't want to be self-conscious about it. I earned it and I accept that its there. He says that he will see it when we get the okay to resume sex.

Well, I don't want it to be a something he is afraid to look at. Its not going to go away. I don't want it to be something he glances at when we finally get to be intimate again.

Did this make any sense? I know what I wanted to say here but I feel like my thoughts on this are all over the place. Sorry for rambling. Anyone out there have any similar experience that they can share with me.

I can understand how he wouldn't want to look right now because I'm the same way. I probably wouldn't mind seeing someone's incision once it was healed and looked more like a scar than a recent incision, but to look at someone's recent surgical site is something I wouldn't care to do. He probably wants to make sure it's quite a bit more healed before he loooks. I wouldn't push the issue at this point.

my husband never looked at any of my incisions from any surgeries i had. he doesnt like to look at things like that. i didnt ask him to look and he didnt ask to see...but it didnt bother me. by the time you can be intimate, your incision will look much different.

hey there,
I am sorry you were affected by BF's reaction, it is hard sometimes to understand what goes through thier minds. You are allowed to feel hurt, but do remember it takes time for all of us to get used of the changes, even Bf's.
I'm sure things will work out just how they should, we are all different and deal with things in our own way. Sometimes it's easier said than done but I'm sure if you talk about it when the time is right, it will work out so both your feelings are considered.
I hope tomorrow bings a giggle or two, take care and rest well

Sending hugs your way xx

He may be wondering about how he'll feel when he sees your incision/scar. After my first surgery a couple of years ago, my DH was concerned that he would be bothered by my massive scar (he didn't tell me this until months later). It turned out that he wasn't, but he was worried about it. Now that I've added a second scar to the collection, he says he doesn't notice them at all.

Give your boyfriend time. This is a difficult time for him too; he'll come around and things will get back to normal.

I made my DH look at my scars.....he was sitting down and I just stood in front of him and said...see my scars and showed him, so he had no choice. LOL Things like that don't bother me, but I didn't even think to ask if it bothered him. I don't think it does though since our family rides motorcycles (dirtbikes), so we've had our fair share of accidents/scars. I'm proud of my scars, so I understand where you are coming from.

MY dh didn't have any choice, because he changed my bandages for six weeks after my surgery.

But I know others are squeamish about this sort of thing, too. So I guess I wouldn't push the point right now either.

Hey Jovi...wanted to share some reassuring words for you....I really think that your BF will come around....remember that "boys" don't have as strong a constitution as women!! Maybe if you ask your BF to gently touch your scar first without looking at it he'll "see" that it will be okay to look with eyes wide open.

My DH was curious and wanted to see as soon as the bandages were off in the hospital and I still had my staples in! Now he helps put my Vit E oil on my scar (I have a zipper which goes up and around my belly button and very sensitive)....I forget that I have this on my belly every now and again and then I'll wear something or accidentally rub against it and be reminded. I just showed my scar to my mom a week or so ago...she started to cry! She thinks the tumors were something genetic from her side of the family....I tried to reassure her that no one knows why or where or whom or what????

Anyway, best of luck....my DH & I call it my victory scar!

Thank you for all your responses, advise and reassurances. I don't know why it has affected me the way it has. I know how he is about things like this. It must be coming from my insecurities... I don't know.

You are right Oregon Grown, most boys DON"T have the strong constitution that women have. LOL. They also tend to not say what's bothering them and hold it in and it comes out in strange ways. Maybe that's what I am worried about.

I have been "good". No pressure to show off my scar lately.