Frustrated!!

I am sooo frustrated! My DH can't seem to understand that I need more surgery!! He seems to think that if I lost weight, did my PT, and strengthened my core, my body would heal itself and the prolapses will go away!! (And the mesh will straighten out, I guess.) He is scared that everything will keep snowballing and we will never have an intimate relationship again. I have been trying to do some reseach that shows that the fascia (anterior and posterior) has to be repaired surgically, that it will not spontaneously go back to the way it was before I had my first rectocele. I don't bring up the word surgery cuz I don't want those discussions anymore. I am just going to deal with the discomfort and lose this weight and do my PT and strengthen my core (yoga and pilates). Then I will get another exam and let the doctors tell him what I have been telling him all along.

Whew! - I feel better already!!

Hugs to you!!!!!

Maybe you should have the doctor have a heart to heart talk with him

I had my prolapses fixed last year and the sling just put in and I am only 40 years old, so I think prolapses happen to both the young and old.

I was 27 when I had my son (my only child) after that I suffered from a rectocele, cystocele and hypermobilit of the uretha which I had a TVT for. I still have a slight cystocele and rectocele. I am a small framed person and my son weighed 8lbs when I was born. I pushed for 4 hours. I won't have anymore children because of it. I now have endometreosis and possibly adenymosis.....Anyway, my point is prolapse can happen at any age.

Patricia,
I agree, have your dh go to a 'discussion' appt. with you and alert the doctor ahead of time and have him draw it out for both of you and explain why leaving it alone won't work. My dh is the same way - I get 'What did you expect having them cut you down there?' - sigh. So I don't discuss my problems with him anymore. It's too upsetting that the one person you should be able to talk to, won't listen. Thank goodness for this forum. Hugs!

I think KathieM summed it up the best in another thread. She asked her DH if his private parts were broken would he have it fixed? Of course the answer was yes. Maybe you need to relate it in terms your DH would understand. You know how they have the pregnant body suits that men can wear to understand how their wives can feel so uncomfortable when they're preganant? Well I wish they had one for prolapse so men could see what it feels like to have a brick in their bottom. In the end it's your body and you have to live with the daily discomfort of it all not him. I would try my best to make him understand that although being overweight may have contributed to your pelvic organ prolapse losing weight alone will not make it all suck back up to where it belongs. Good luck.
Michelle

Patricia, my normally wonderful DH just made a stink about taking me HRT (that's where my reference to his privates came into play!) I have been the most miserable person on the planet for months and finally figured out I had no estrogen. He has never wanted to hear the details of the repair or all the complictions and he thinks all the hormone stuff is in my head. I told him yesterday that I was feeling SO much more human in just 3 days and I got the most condescending look I have ever seen. He really does think it is all in my head. I wish men could be a hormonal woman with drooping parts for a day. They would NOT survive. DH just had a physical and may have to take cholestrol medication but someone he can't connect the dots here! Smart man but really clueless sometimes!

I agree, try and make him understand, take him to the DR so he can hear a male say what is wrong (might make a difference) but in the end it is you life, your body and you have to do what you need to do. I knew I could not splint for the rest of my life no matter what he felt about it.

Stay strong and I wish you luck. There really is always someone here to help when those closest to us drop the ball!!!!

Thanks so much for the support. It is so great to have this forum to talk (or type) and where everyone knows what is going on!! I found this wonderful site that has information about the pelvic floor at kegelmasters.net. It tells about the ways it could get damaged and how it has to be fixed (I believe - haven't quite finished it yet.). Good information! I will be sharing the relevant parts with DH soon.


Many Hugs to my Sisters!!

Hi everyone,
Thank you for this thread. I have a rectocele and my husband does not want to know anything about it. I have mentioned it to him a couple of times and he says "if it has to be done, it has to be done" concerning the surgery but I get the feeling he thinks it's trivial or something. I have not told him the details but I don't think it is very sexy to discuss everything about bowel movements etc. He knows I am uncomfortable and afraid to lift anything heavy and that I have trouble having a bowel movement but I think he thought the hysterectomy would cure everything (as I did) and he hates the fact that I am not fixed yet. Men just do not understand. If they felt a bowel movement coming through their penis or testicles, I am sure they would want to get that fixed.