My life in my 40's

Hi Laura, and other Sisters! I hope you all don't mind me chiming in on this discussion, but I am in the "over 40" crowd now at 41, and could use a bit of support myself. Haven't been to the site in a long time, but I hope to come back regularly if I can! I had my hyster over two years ago, and my life just hasn't been the same. I have been on the roller coaster ride of hormones, gained about 20 pounds that I can't seem to lose, and feel as if I will never be "me" again. I keep hoping that one day....I will be "me" again.

I have three sons, one of which is getting ready to go the local university in a couple of weeks! When did I get old enough for a kid to turn 18????? (His birthday is Sunday!) They are all boys, and being the only girl in the house there is NO discussing hysterectomy issues! I do, however, have a group of girlfriends, and over the past few years we have made it a priority to meet every Monday night for coffee at Barnes and Nobles, just to chat and hang out. We call ourselves Sisters in Spirit, hence my name here! They have helped keep me sane as my world has seemingly fallen apart since my surgery. We don't miss a Monday unless someone is sick or dead (ok, no one has died yet, but it's a joke around my house that unless someone is DEAD Mom will be at her "Monday girls night"!

Anyway, just wanted to say hi to you Sisters, and see if I can join in occasionally? Would love to have some support from some gals who have "been there done that"!
Lots of hugs!
Tina

Great thread...I am 46 and seems in the last 6 years I have lived a soap opera life, minus of course the mansions, vacations, and fancy dinners.......I have 3 boys, 27yrs old, 22yrs old and a 6year old that I had a month after I turned the big 4-0!!.......Love him, of course to death, but he did a number on my old body..LOL.....6 months after I had him, I had a pretty bad prolapse, that to this day I do not know what was making it way out of the vaginal canal but do know it was out!!....I had a TVT with A&P repairs(only just found out that I had the P part, was not told)..I also had a urethra sling, so thank goodness have not had any leaking problems in 5 year ...my DH was wonderful, and I was loving being a new mom again...when my little guy was around 18months, my husband had a hernia surgery and back surgery...he was on alot of pain meds and developed a nightmare of an addiction to them and actually had to go into a 30 day facility to get off of them...I gave up working in that year since I worked at nite and did not trust to leave him at home w/a little one....so than everything seemed to get back to normal, but now I developed anxiety about leaving the house...maybe my age??? but I suddenly feared alot of things I never did before...I went on Zoloft for few months and than weaned off, but it got me thru the rough patch...then I started to feel very tired and gaining weight, found out I had hypothyroid and of course had to start on those meds...couldn't lose the weight for anything....I went into real estate for about 1 year was doing well but the anxiety, panic attacks were getting the best of me and I quit...hubby and I decided to sell our home..that is always stressful, so sets off vertigo in me the day before we moved and I was dizzy for 3 weeks.....my 22yr old moves on his own, we set him up in an apartment and pay for 9 months(probably to ease my worries about him being on his own, my 27 yr old has been on his own for years)...my DH starts his own business and I finally have work to do, all the bookkeeping etc...that proved to be too much on his back (construction, landscaping) so what does his good ole doc do..put him back on more meds and shots in his back...so now only a matter of months he has a problem w/taking too many pills again...I stress and develope hives/welts all over my body so bad that 3 cycles of steroids did not help ....hubby gets off meds, sells biz and now went back to union job(over 2 years now) and is wonderful and supportive of all my now ongoing problems below..scheduled to have a robotic assisted hysterectomy w/mesh repair to A&P and removal of left ovary, keeping cervix to lend extra support......was scheduled for July 24th but put it off until Aug 22nd as my DS, the 22yr old, since being out on his own has now developed a drinking/drug problem and is in a 45 day program I know it is not my fault and have been going thru some counseling, but it is hard to deal with...the counseling has made me stronger to see that I enabled my husband and now my son with just little things I was doing, such as covering up for them, or doing to much for my son....anyway, this whole drug thing seems to be such an epidemic now w/these young kids and older that I get nauseous just thinking about having to put any of that crap in my body after this surgery....I am looking forward to it though, I must say..to be able to walk around without feeling like a big water ballon is going to fall out of me will be wonderful...and I am hoping that this will be the road to starting to take care of me : did I mention that I was 122lbs when I met my DH in '98 and now I am almost 150 just another thing I experienced in my lovely 40's..LOL...I tell you though, my DH and DS(all 3 of them) and myself all have a great sense of humor and laughter has helped us get thru so much, not to mention a wonderful supporting family....so hopefully I have a greater ride on the upswing to 50!!!!!.........thanks so much for letting me vent..felt great and sorry so long!!!....This site has been a wonderful secret escape of mine for the last few weeks!!!

Welcome to Tina and ribyra732. Chime right in! The more the merrier.

Tina, That is wonderful that you have a group of friends that you meet on a regular basis. It must be so much fun to do that. It doesn't take long for our kids to grow up does it? I have two in college and two in highschool. The two in college drive me nuts. They are in the in between teen and Adult stage where they think they know everything there is to know about life and can do it all.

ribyra, Wow, you do live a life to be written about. With all the things going on in your life, no wonder you have panic. I have anxiety and panic also. It's such an inconvenience for me and keeps me from doing so many things that I could be doing. You sound like a very strong woman in the midst of all of it though, so that is something you have in your favor. I have had to do the same thing with my children in not being so helpful and doing everything for them and letting them feel some of their own consequences. I think we try to protect them from the world because we have already been there done that and we want to spare them the pain we had growing up. Unfortunately it often times makes things worse for them because they become too dependent. It has been a hard thing for me to teach myself, but it actually gets easier and the anxiety lessens. I do have arguments with my therapist though through this re-learning, re-teaching thing.

Hi to Morgan, Deb, Echo, and Kim.

I have not been keeping up too well with my healthy eating and exercising. I am slipping back a bit for some reason. It's so important at this age to keep it up. The weight does come on so easily now for me and if I skip the exercise, I really can feel it. I am going to go for my 4 mile walk today for sure. I was just talking to a friend of mine who had a hysterectomy last year and she has begun bleeding from her cervix. The doctor has to cauterize it and she was a little upset that the doctors don't really explain all they should about what to expect after the hysterectomy and we pretty much have to figure out for ourselves. I told her about this sight to see if she could find out info on whats happening to her or at least to find support.

I am still painting my sons room. I got the trim done today so unless it needs another coat, I am done. My dog had to go to the vet yesterday and $85 later I am now putting ointments and eye drops in his eyes every 3 hours

Well...time to go exercise. I am still pondering those hilights in my hair. I really want to do them but am just not sure they will look good.

Laura

Go for the hi lites. I love mine. She also put in some very dark red streaks!!! It hides the gray and I only have to do it about 2 times a year.

Finally talked to DR. yesterday, so I'm now waiting for the hospital and her office to set the surgery date. We decided that the sling could wait until I see if the hyst. does the trick for the little bit of incontiece I have, that's one decision made!!! She wants to take the cervix because I did have a scare with HPV about 10 years ago, another decision made, and I get to keep the ovaries[ unless when she gets in there and finds other promblems.

So I guess a little more waiting to hear when the Big Day is!!! Debbie

Hi ladies! Just checking back in after a very busy week! I vote for the highlights, too! And I went for a pedicure again Wed night - We have to pamper ourselves, don't forget! I also went to the doctor Wed during the day for the spotting I was having (I was 9 weeks postop yesterday) and it seems I have a yeast infection but everything else looks fine! So that is a relief! My DD is off for the weekend camping with her friend's family, my younger DS called and got a promotion and a bonus at work, my older DS is on vacation with his fiance and got the job with Homeland Security that he has been interviewing for and will start his training in another week and my DH and me are going out for a ride in my little blue porsche to get some dinner and have some summer fun! YAY for Fridays! Don't forget to forget how old you are this weekend and have some fun! :

Yes hi-lights! I put a red streak in my hair (dyed blond) a few months ago and my friends joked that my head looked like it was bleeding. It got to the point that when they kept asking, "why'd you put red in your hair?" I would just tell them because the store was out of blue. I think maybe a few black streaks would look better than red or blue. Maybe I will bite the bullet and have a saloon do the job for me. I'm learning to pamper myself after this surgery stuff and it's kind of fun!

Anyway, that's the long way of saying go for it - do hi-lights. And have fun! These are the best days of our lives.

I agree do the highlights..I have foil highlighted my hair for years...it's fun, covers the gray, and if you don't like it you can always color back over them.....

For those of you who read my LONG post from yesterday, I have to add, although I seem to have had a rough ride since turning 40, I still feel that my 40's are going to be my transistional period in life as I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I am contemplating going back to school for some type of social work So after my upcoming surgery I plan on making the most out of the remaining 4 years of my Fabulous Forties!!!

Hey that's funny! I don't know what I want to be when I grow up either! But I do definitely feel that the past five years or so have been a definite transition time for me! It has been hard and a struggle emotionally at times but I am finally starting to feel better about the whole thing. Alot of self reflection, etc. Anyone else had that going on?

Yep, mid-life. I think I would like to go back to school to be come a counselor.

There is this social worker certification that I would love to take. Unfortunately, I have two kids in college and one graduating this year and I hear the class has been filled for a year in advance already. I too have not found my niche yet. I am 48 and don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I tried the hilights, but I did them myself. I had already done a permanent color on my hair so I couldn't put a few different colors in myself. Well....the color was stubborn because it was so dark and my hair wouldn't come up to the right shade and then it got too light. I kind of liked it but it looked a little dull so I went to the store and got an amber lightest brown to put on it for 10 minutes. It looks good now. Blond is not the right color for me at all. These hilights look pretty good so maybe next time I will get them done professionally. I was just antsy and didn't want to spend the money and had the stuff I needed here. Next time foils instead of cap. At least I know what to tell the hairdresser when I go and that I will need a toner to complete the look. The color I had on my hair to begin with comes out so dark then it fades. I think now that I tried it, I would do more chunky hilites next time.

well... time for a little exercise. I am going to go for a walk.

hope your day is a good one for all of you.

Laura