When did you have that moment of "realization"

When did you have that "moment of realization" when you felt like you did or didn't do the right thing having the hyster?

A bunch of posts have gotten me thinking that while I am fine with having had the hyst and am feeling pretty good, I don't get overly excited about it. Maybe I am just always going to feel, I don't know, like shrugging my shoulders and thinking "whatever". I guess I should be glad that I don't have a period anymore (haven't had a mini-period yet at 15 weeks post-op), but i had only had 2 in the last year anyway.

There have been so many changes in my life in the last 6 months that maybe it's hard for my brain to just separate out the hyst as it's own occurrence and build up some really positive emotion from it.

Just a thought...

Jennifer,

I resisted having the surgery up to the very end. I made it to menopause without the terrible periods, anemia, etc., that so many of our sisters have before their surgery. Everything should be fine, right? Wrong. In December, my family practice dr who had been monitoring my fibroids, announced they were growing when they should be shrinking and my uterus was too large for someone in menopause. She referred me to a GYN with the warning there was probably a hysterectomy in my future. The GYN told me I needed a hysterectomy. Since the biopsy (for an enlarged uterus, checking for endometrial cancer) came back negative, I was able to schedule the TAH in the summer (convenient time because I'm a teacher).

I trusted both doctors, but couldn't understand why I needed the surgery when I wasn't having any symptoms. Countless friends wished me well by saying, "You'll feel better than you have in years." But I wasn't feeling bad.

When the pathology report came back, I had my moment of realization that I really and truly did the right thing. In addition to fibroids and enlarged uterus, I had endometriosis, adenomyosis, cysts on ovaries and even pre-cancerous cells. I was a mess inside. I could have probably postponed the surgery a little more than I did, but the GYN warned me it could become emergency surgery on short notice. Again, since I'm a teacher, the recovery during the summer is ideal for me with no guilt about missing classes.

Now when I tell people I had the surgery, I will say, "I'm so glad I did it."

You ask a very good question, though. Each woman will have a different moment of realization because we all go into this surgery with different needs and at different stages in life. Some women will mourn the loss of the rest of the child-bearing years in ways that I don't. Some will feel relief from painful periods that I don't. And while I feel tremendous relief that I was spared a cancer diagnosis, other women are recovering from surgery AND scheduling follow-up treatment for cancer.

I agree with your response, though. I made the right decision, but I don't feel the excitement that others write about being pain free for the first time in years, etc.

My first moment that showed me I did the right thing came the morning after surgery when the Dr. showed me what he had removed and told me how big it was (12 weeks) and how malformed it was. The second moment came yesterday when I visited the Bodies exhibit that has been traveling all over the country, this is the exhibit with the real human bodies that have been dissected to show you the various organs and systems. Looking at what a normal uterus is supposed to look like (especially size-wise) and knowing how big and malformed my was made me truly realize how lucky I was to have this surgery and how lucky I was not to feel any worse than I did preop. I was suffering from heavy bleeding and a fibroid pushing into my bladder and didn't think I was that bad off. But now that it is gone I realize how badly it was affecting everything from my energy level to my bowels and bladder function.

I guess everyone has a different situtation connected with their surgery. I did not have to have my tah; it was my choice. My sister died of ovarian cancer 10 months ago. Needless to say, I had myself checked out with a vaginal sonogram and CA 125 test. Nothing showed on the sonogram but my CA 125 came out high and then 3 months later it had already doubled. I was referred to a gyneocologic oncologist in Richmond. He felt that exploratory surgery was required to see if it was my endometriosis flaring up again (could be a reason for the high CA125 reading) or early stage cancer. But me being the chicken that I am (or some call it bravery), I decided to end all doubt and have the hysterectomy. I could not live with the stress of always wondering if the next test/exploratory surgery would reveal ovarian cancer so I eliminated the source. Praise be to God, my pathology came back cancer-free! Any discomfort from the surgery is minimized because of my new peace of mind. I do not second guess my decision. I just rejoice with the new lease on life I've been given. I truly believe that my poor sister died in order to save my life. I will try to make her proud!

Lisa

45-tah/bso-endo with strong family history of ovarian cancer

i immediately knew i was doing the right thing when i met my surgeon...i have never regretted my decision for a second. i've been blessed with three healthy children and feel just as lucky that i dont have to deal with heavy periods every few weeks. no more anemia, scheduling vacations around it, not being able to leave the house, no hrt, no surgical complications. its all a positive for me.

dear Lisa, prayers to you on the loss of your sister, i am sure she is looking over you now.

to jennifer and the other ladies, i keep going back on forth on my realizations,my fibroids hurt! i tried for six months to tough it out til menopause - but i didnt want to live a tough life!

(and thank you nancy for letting me know that isnt necessarily a cure-all!)

finally doing a little better on my post op pain which makes me feel better about my decision, but i didnt realize how difficult surgery recovery was.

feeling better about my decision each day I feel better!

lala

Nancy, I'm glad you have spared a worse diagnosis and Lisa, I'm sorry for your loss and completely understand your decision.

Lala, blue, and muon...My doctor is also so wonderful and when he suggested the LSH I agreed almost immediately. Since I was dealing with fibroids, adeno, and anemia prior to my last pregnancy, I know this will become a welcome change. Maybe it is just because the hyst happened only 3 months after my last baby was born that I didn't actually have to experience it again for any length of time...I remember the day I found out I was pregnant though, I was soooo relieved to not have to deal with things for 9 months

I don't regret the decision at all, and maybe I just won't get overly excited about it. Maybe it is enough to just say "Yes, I am" when people ask me if I am feeling better now.

Yes, I am.

Aplacidlife, Excellent question.. I like others knew right away it was the best decision I had made and felt so liberated..but around my 5th week It hit me hard.. No children no going back.. I felt empty (no pun intended LOL) and that no one around me Had a clue what I was feeling.. but then I realized its all part of the healing.. I was also absolutely Wiped out from no sleep and being in constant ache for those weeks.. I am normaly up 4:30 am every morning for work.. so not being able to sleep was a bummer.. and my body wanted to get up at regular time.. I am sure that every one has this feeling at one point maybe not as extreme as others .. but we all who have and are going through this, Know these real exact feelings.
I am not regretting anything.. no more periods (painfull at that) weight loss over 20lbs and still losing excellent move .. just a better way to live and feel beautiful again.. life will be less stressfull for me and I have already seen a difference.. its just slow..

I hope this helps answer your question in some way???

Take care and happy healing

GEMBC69

I'm still waiting for it. I was orignally scheduled for it because of fibroids and heavy periods, that made me severly anermic. Then over the last 18 mo nature started helping and I was only having heavy periods maybe , 2 or 3 times a year and the anemia and iron supplements resolved the anemia. During, the "watch and wait" period where I was having ultrasounds done, and they saw a cyst on what they thought was on one of my ovaries. i had been dragging my feet with this whole thing, and my insurance wasn't what was best at the time, so I and my Dr agreed to wait until after Jan and my insurance changed. The next ultrasound did not show any changes to the cyst, but the Dr said it would be best to do the hysterctomy and take everything, just in case. I hadn't been feeling bad . Yeah, I had heavy periods for years and felt tired, and cold all of the time, but I dealt with that. Results from my yearly exam and blood test , and a frantic call from my PCP telling me I needed a blood transfusion and a hysterctomy immediately started this whole thing. When I went for the pathology report, it showed the typical mess of stuff, and that the cyst was in my fallopian tube, not my ovary. Pressed, my Dr told me that if I had done nothing, I would probably have been perfectly fine. Except even though the cyst was benign this time, I could get a cancerous cyst grow in my ovaries without symptoms until it was too late to do anything about it. He said his first case as an intern was a lady dying of ovarian cancer, and that it was an awful way to go , if one could avoid it. Because of my age (54) and the one cyst already, he felt the safest place for my ovaries was a petrie dish. Since my uterous was already the size of a 16 wk pregnancy, and I was well over having any more children, it could go also. In my heart, I know it was the wisest decision, but necessary is a whole different question.

Especially since 3 months later I am having issues related to the surgery, not major, but any internal issues from it (in my mind anyway), are unacceptable. Not that my body is listening to that foolishness! Metaphysically speaking, I believe that at least part of the reason this occured in my life, was to force me to take time off, and relax, and reexamine some areas of my life and make revisions. I did do all of that, and as a result enrolled in an online college to get what I need to change my career, make more money, and feel more in control of my future. I remind myself of that when I am exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed by working full time and going to school, and dealing with the current health issues. Mostly, I think we all have to do what are gut tells us, and then let the results go.

Blessings,

Maureen

I came to my realization yesterday at my 5 wk post-op appt. After my surgeon explained to me how my uterus was so prolapsed (which was odd for someone my age) and all the other prolapses and the fact that my uterus was enlarged also (which he didn't know till the surgery)..... he also had said that I had such a great surgical result (as he called it) and that he can't easily reach the end of my vaginal canal.... I haven't heard that in years... usually I hear "boy it sure is easy to find your cervix" with surprise in their voice LOL. Now, according to my doc, I have great depth. Hmmm wonder what my dh is gonna think of me now when we get to have relations?

Anyhow, I still wonder about the "what-ifs" when it comes to no longer being able to have any more children, BUT I am blessed with two great boys and a great dh who loves them as his own. God works in mysterious ways sometimes, and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason... I just may not understand what the reason is!

I feel for all those out there who are unsure if they made the right choice or not and hope they find comfort soon. I still feel that way on occassion and I'm sure I always will.... but I take it one day at a time and keep the faith that I did what was right.... for ME.