Need to tell the boss....

My surgery is scheduled for Nov. 19. I need to tell my boss but I'm afraid to tell him too soon because he may question if I really need the surgery if I can wait until Nov. I need to wait because of long-term disability insurance or I would've done it now!
How much notice should I give? I'm also afraid that this surgery is going to hurt the bonus and raise I'm due to get in Dec. because I'll be out due to the surgery. I'm afraid he'll hold it against me and punish me with a crappy raise and bonus even though I 've done a great job and haven't missed a day of work. I have issues! So bearing all that in mind, when should I break the news and please tell me what a good opening line is to breaking hysterectomy news to a man!!

I found out about my surgery in June and I am now 1week post-op. I would go ahead and tell them so you can get all your paperwork in for your Leave of Absence. I know they like 30 days notice and that way your ins company and job both have time to get everything lined up for when the time comes. It seems like forever but it will be here before you know it. Your job should not hold it against you. Best of luck!!

I work for a very large company in the Corporate HR department and I can tell you without a doubt that it is illegal for your boss to take any adverse action against you in relation to your surgery/healing time. They also cannot hold back raises due to you during the time you are off. You are guaranteed to come back to the same job you were in when you left as long as you can still perform all of the essentials functions of that job and have no restrictions. If you do have restrictions, the company is obligated to accommodate you. This being said......if you feel you are retaliated against in some fashion you can either talk to your company's HR or file a claim with an agency such as the EEOC.

My suggestion for approaching your boss is to do so ASAP and just lay it all out there. Tell him you have no choice, you HAVE to have the surgery, that you will probably be off for 6 weeks (or whatever your doc told you) and you realize it may be difficult while you are gone, but what can you do in advance to help make things easier in your absence....

Hope this works and best of luck!