to any sisters that are childless

dinordh,

at first i wasn't going to tell anyone that i had a hysterectomy besides my super. at work and the lady from HR that set up my medical leave , but then i thought, what do i have to be ashamed of. it's not my fault this happened to me. not that i'm in the habit of blabbing my whole life story to people, but it does help with acceptance. today i'm just over 3 weeks post op. i feel pretty good. i'm going out to the grocery store now. i called mr dr office to make sure it was ok to push a grocery cart around. i hope i didn't sound like dork, but i don't want to injure myself.

**sniff** My sister sent me a copy of my youngest nephew's class schedule (he's a junior in high school) in case of emergency. Meanwhile, the older one who's away at Illinois State has a birthday Sunday and I almost forgot so I bought him a card and slipped in the usual 'sumthin sumthin' that I know he needs. Made me feel like my old maternal self.

Just the shot in the arm that I needed after my post op doctor visit today. For some reason I left feeling alittle emotionally vacant...nothing is particularly wrong with the acception of occasional constipation and this hematoma under one of my stitches. I sat in the waiting room and there were new moms, pregnant women with their hubbies (that's a nice sight) and one lady was having contractions...she looked spent, but beautiful. One other lady was by herself, didn't look pregnant, no mate with her...so I wondered if we had the same thing in common. (that's obviously a wide assumption...just wondered). All this to say that God knows when you need alittle emotional pick-me-up.

Anywho, I tried to pack as much errand-running in as I could while I was driving around (seat belt stretched across my newly adopted tummy pillow). Think I'll take it easy tomorrow.

i do not even know how it came up but this past weekend i told a complete stranger i had a hyster and she was so nice asked me how old etc - turns out one of her close friends near my age has been told she need a hyster so of course i told the women i was talking to give her this website!
i think it is good that you are feeling better!!
i never knew anyone close to me who had had a hyster
this website has been such a help!

Hi everyone, I am glad I found this link and cried as I read through it. I had my complete TAH 6/15 and have no kids (age 35). I have battled severe endo for years, and have struggled with severe pain for years. The final straw was landing in ER on Memorial Day where they found a large mass on the ovaries.

I started the grieving process a few years ago when they told me I could never get pregnant after a laporoscopy and was ANGRY that the medical world was controling my life.

But I still wasn't prepared for the feelings and emotional rollar coaster that I have been on.

To add insult to injury... I too experienced SEVERE insensitivity. When I was leaving the hospital, drugged, my bracelet, which was coded wrong, set off an alarm. A "charming" doctor caused a scene and started yelling at me in front of a waiting room FULL of people that I was stealing a baby. Security and police were called as this doctor was screaming at me and accusing me. Needless to say I couldn't even respond, and I had non baby! The doctor stormed off and I did file a complaint wiht this well know highly respected hospital.

But enough ranting. Thank you everyone for sharing, I hate to say it but I feel a little better knowing I am not alone. I focus my sad energies on my wonderful goddaughter who has changed my name to Auntie spoil me. becasue she knows she can get whatever she wants form me.

I hope we can all take the time to heal and go through the grieving process, and we can find people who will support us through it. My DH has put up with a lot and continues to put up with the rollar coaster of emotions that is me.

Hang in there everyone and vent when ever you need to, I will listen!

Kathleen first of all let me say that I am so sorry that you had to experience that scene at the hospital!!! As I have said all along, people's actions cannot be controlled by the rest of us.

I am so proud of you that you that you filed a complaint with this hospital.

Take care!
Diana

I am so grateful to have found this thread. I have been experiencing pretty heavy depression since my surgery this past May. My DH and I were never able to have children and when the decision came, after trying other alternatives, to have a hysterectomy, my DH was very supportive. I am on BHRT and I don't think, although, I don't know for sure, that my hormones are playing a role in my depression. Since my surgery, my BFF has conceived and two other significant people in my life have had children. What I have noticed that has also saddened me is that (aside from my BFF, my mom and my DH), my other friends, co-workers, family members have just acted like my surgery was no big deal at all. My birthday went by, too, and not any of my friends even sent an email to me wishing me a happy birthday. When I had my surgery, no one visited me at the hospital or even sent a get well card. I am sad at the insensitivity that these people have and hurt by it. One person even wore a t-shirt (the first time I saw her after my surgery that said "I CAN GROW PEOPLE" yes, she was pregnant at the time. I took this very personal, although I probably shouldn't have, but it was like my face was being rubbed into the shirt. I am extremely sensitive right now. I am sad. I don't want to leave my house. I just want to be alone. At first, the first few weeks after surgery, I felt pretty good emotionally, but I never allowed myself the opportunity to grieve over the fact that I can't have children. I feel I was not given the option. I feel like I had no choice, either have the surgery or not have a life at all. Now I feel like I am merely existing, not having any pleasure in anything. I cry all the time, my DH doesn't know what to do, I don't know what to do, don't know if I care what to do. I just needed to get this off my chest. Any advice would be helpful. I appreciate your letting me write.

Man I read here and I am in tears. This was me a few years ago. Ladies I know exactly how you feel and my heart goes out to every one of you.

I am glad I found this. I am 30 years old and childless. Before my surgery everytime I had a missed period I hoped and prayed I was pregnant. Every test came up negative. So I tried to tell myself that it just wasn't ment to be. My husband has 3 children from his previous marriage and we wanted at least one of our own. With every negative test he would tell me "if it happens it happens, I didn't marry you just to have more kids, I love you and no matter what I will always love you". He is the best. He took a week off to take care of me after my surgery and he did such a good job. I just have this feeling of loss and I know I will get over it one day but right now I have to deal with it.
I have lots of nephews and I try to take up as much time as I can with them But it is not the same.
My sister is pregnant and due in October and I just found out that my brothers wife is pregnant also. I have tried to play everything off like it doesn't bother me, I guess I am doing a good job. I just want you all to know that I am here for anyone that needs to talk. We can get through this together.

hi there. this recovery is hard enough by itself and us in this group are also dealing with being childress, so it's twice as hard. a girl that lives two houses down from me is pregnant. i don't know how far along she is, but i hope when she has it, it's winter so i won't have to see her carrying the baby all around that much. that probably sounds terrbile, but that's how i feel. you usually don't see too much of your neighboors once the weather gets cold. they had some kind of a party at their house yesterday. maybe a baby shower ? just what i need to see. my brother and his wife have 3 beautiful children, so that's the closest i will come to my own. in time, it willl get easier to accept, but in our own time, no one elses.

The support from all of you an this site has been great. I know how you feel. I have to deal with the pregnancies in my own family. It will be okay, at least that's what I tell myself. We will make it thru this!!!