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  #1  
Unread 10-13-2007, 05:32 PM
No sex drive

I know I've talked about this before.

I have no sex drive, had a little here and there, but now it appears to be all gone.

I can not stand to be touched, get no response when I am touched.

DH said something today about my lack of reponse and passion. He was so sad and worried.

I have no ideal what to do. Before my surgery there were times when I pretended, but now I can not stand to pretend.

No HRT for 6 months, DR's orders.

I've tried Porn, erotic books, alcohol,,etc...

Our sex life is very important to my husband. I know this can ruin a relationship.

Help!
  #2  
Unread 10-13-2007, 07:30 PM
No sex drive

I don't really have any suggestions. I just wanted to give you my well wishes and a hug. (((((hug))))) It doesn't have to be a relationship ender. IF you both love each other, then you can get through this. Have you spoken to your dr. about the problem yet? Maybe he/she will have some suggestions. I was glad to hear that your husband was "worried" and not angry. That would be too much pressure for you, and certainly not good for the relationship. I hope you find something that works for you.
  #3  
Unread 10-13-2007, 08:40 PM
No sex drive

BIg hugs . as lilly said it doesnt have to end the relationship there were times when me and my husband went months with out sex do to the heavy bleeding and pain. i would speak to your dr, haveing a hyst is a hard thing emotionaly as well as physicaly. some times a mild antidepresant can help. just keep talking to your husband so he knows you love him and talk to your dr so he can help you . maybe agreeing to take a few months off from even trying from sex might help you( so your not feeling preasure or like you have to try and you can just conentrate on being with each other).
big hugs
Lsia
  #4  
Unread 10-13-2007, 08:51 PM
No sex drive

Hm...now MY problem is that my sex drive is back but its not for my husband but rather for other men! Go figure! (no I haven't acted on it- but its something to ponder) :-)
  #5  
Unread 10-14-2007, 07:46 AM
No sex drive

Talked to DH again last night. He said he is not going to allow this to affect us. He told me to not even worry about it. I was glad he said this, but deep down I know he said it so I won't worry about it.

I did tell him that I needed some "work up" to having sex, he sometimes will just want it while I'm in the middle of something else, like housework, on the way out the door, asleep. He likes to be spontanoues, I told him right now that is not working for me at all.

What worries me the most, is when he touches me like he always has, it does not affect me like it use to. He knows my spots, he knows what I like,,but I have no response.

And I hate the fact that I do seem to respond more after drinking, so then I wonder why is that, and then I think, I must not be relaxed enough without the alcohol.

OK, I will vent here,,then try to relax.
  #6  
Unread 10-14-2007, 07:50 AM
No sex drive

I wonder if I'm depressed a little. I know my emotions are all over the place right now.

I really don't want to take any meds, until I allow some time to pass to really see what's going on and what I need.

Oh I also HATE using the lubricants. I used to be soooooo wet naturally (TMI), I miss that and grabbing for the lube takes something away from the moment ,for me anyway.

OK, going to clean house, try to enjoy my husband, then shopping.
  #7  
Unread 10-14-2007, 08:20 AM
No sex drive

(((lyb)))

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I just wanted to encourage you to remember that this change has been caused by your lack of hormones. You both need to remember that it isn't that you made a choice to feel unresponsive or that you love him any less. You're dealing with a physical problem that hopefully will be temporary as soon as you are able to use some hormone replacement.

I also want to encourage you to make your peace with the changes that may be necessary for you to respond in the best way possible. You can get used to using the lubricants and you also may have to get used to the whole process taking longer. I have found that it's just a little more work, but the end result is definitely worth it.

I hope the two of you will keep talking and doing whatever is necessary to get through this time. I think it will get better as you go.
's, Rita
  #8  
Unread 10-15-2007, 04:21 AM
No sex drive

Thank You
Preciouspearl.

I'm trying to relax into my new body. I'm also worried that due to my sever endo, I might not be able to take HRT.

I will make sure my husband and I keep talking about how we both are feeling.

I love having this web site for support.
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