With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get free booklets, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more. You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
I have never had a lap surgery due to the fact that I could never find a doc who I trusted or who was nice to me! Now, after finding a decent doctor and finding out that I most likely have adenomyosis as well as endo, I think I want a hysterectomy because getting lap after lap like most women just sounds physically and emotionally exhausting to me. The one thing I am really worried about is losing my sex drive and sex not feeling good anymore. I am in a relatively new relationship and I don't want to lose this man! I love him very much. I have lost so many relationships because of my endo pain and now, I feel like I am facing a double edged sword. I can't keep being in the pain I have now, but will the hysterectomy ruin sex for me? I plan on taking bio-identical progesterone after the surgery. Please help me.
I had a total hysterectomy and endo removal 5 years ago and the sex is much better after because I don’t have all the discomfort I had before the surgery. And everything feels the same during sex from my boyfriends perspective as well.
I do agree with the previous post though that you should make sure it is endo before you go ahead with the hysterectomy; I actually am starting to have pain again and it has only been 5 years plus I am having a really hard time dealing with getting my hormones at a good level for my body, so if you can avoid a hysterectomy for a while, that would be good. There is a great endo specialist the does excision removal in Bend Oregon. I’m not sure if we can give out names on here, so feel free to e-mail me for it or I’m sure you could do a search for endo specialists there and he would come up-he’s very popular.
Thank you so much for responding. I am seeing a specialist and have already had a vaginal ultrasound with him. He can tell that my ovaries are adhered to something, because they would not move and my uterus wall is abnormally thick and he suspects adenomyosis as well. I'm just at the point that I am so tired of all the pain and bleeding, that if getting everything out would mean less of a chance of it returning, I am all for it. I would love to go to Redwine in Oregon, but I just can't afford that. I like that he is against Lupron too. I just hear so much about being all dried up down there and not being able to enjoy it...that scares me.
Prior to surgery, I would suggest you sit down with your surgeon and your primary care doctor. Take a list of all of your questions and concerns to each appointment and see what each has to say. If you are not 100% satisfied with the answers and if you are not 100% positive after the appointments that the pros outweigh the cons for you, postpone you surgery for now.
Then take more time to think about how you are feeling, your current quality of life, and what you can realistically expect for the future. If necessary, save some money and travel to see an endo specialist with a world wide reputation even if you choose to then have surgery locally.
None of us can tell you exactly what will happen for you after surgery. A doctor can give you a better guess based on his/her medical knowledge, training, and medical exam of you. We can share with you about how things have worked out for us but again, you are your own person and regardless of how things work out for us, they may be different for you.
Honestly, I did not take a lot of time to analyze how my sex life was going to be affected. For me and my DH is was important for me to have health, period. Since I was bleeding to death we basically didn't have a sex life anyway. And if my health continued to deteriorate, we weren't going to improve our sex life either. So for us, we cared more about trying to give me some quality of life and we were willing to take the risk that our sex life would change and possibly not be as it was. Overall it has been fine. As I have no uterus I obviously no longer have uterine contractions, but I can now have sex so it was worth the trade off.
Take time to assess what is best for you and your situation. Once surgery is over you can't go back and change anything so you want to go into surgery with your eyes wide open and making the best decision for you. None of us choose to have endo but since we have it we have to make choices that will hopefully help us feel as best we can for the future.
Please, please get another opinion before you agree to this surgery! I know you are sick & tired of living in pain, but you can not put everything back once it has been taken from you. You need to find an endo specialist, or in my humble opinion, a fertility specialist whis is trained to go in their via a lap and SEE what damage the endo has done. Only then can you make an informed decision. So many woman find out that this TAH/BSO was not the way to go, and now it is too late. Do not be led to believe that removing all your female parts will cure your pain, and slapping on a patch for HRT will make you "normal" again. Please, I am not trying to be negative or scare you, but an ultrasound is NOT proof of anything, and this decision is too big to let that be your deciding factor. I wish someone had been honest with me first. So, my advise to you, and believe me I have lived it, is to find an excellent doctor to do a lap. A lap IS surgery, but done with experience it is certainly not as big as a TAH/BSO. After the lap, and the pathology report which will "grade" your endo, you and your doctor can talk about the best treatment. The best doctor should try and get you out of your pain, while saving as much of your "female parts" as possible! So many ladies (myself including) believed that just taking everything out will make all the pain go away, then they find themselves with a different set of problems! Regarding your original question, my hubby (whom I love very much) has not touched me in over a year. He loves me too much to risk adding to my pain.
So again, this is just MY story and MY opinion, but please, get a lap BEFORE you commit to this surgery.
Only then can you make an informed decision.
Best of luck to you, I know how hard this is, and I truly do care about you, even if you are a stranger! Sex should be the least of your concerns right now.