Feeling emotional

Hello Ladies...this website has been a blessing for me.
I just feel like a need a place to get somethings off my chest. Is it normal to be freaking out?

My surgery is quickly approaching and I feel as if it's coming too fast. Especially at this time of year, I feel like I'm trying to cram everything into a few weeks. I don't want my family to miss out on holidays, so we've been doing all our holiday stuff early, great idea right? Well now I feel guilty that they won't have anything to do on Christmas day. Rescheduleing is not an option.
I've been prepping everyone at work to keep things going while I'm out. But either because I;m a total control freak or because no one else can take over for me, I'm planning on doing some stuff from home as early as 9 days post op....
I feel angry, sad, frustrated and frankly scared. I don't know if this is hormonal, nerves, or just being overwhelmed. I can't blame anything on anyone else. I have a wonderful DH and family and friends that are on my case to take it easy and call on them. I can't tell them how I feel, I can't bring myself to put any additional stress on them.
I'm stressing over the fact I don't know my gyn MD very well, only one face to face encounter, 2 emails and 1 phone call.....and he looks young enough to get carded. I'm sure clinically he's fine, I just wish I had a better, longer relationship with him. I do know this surgery has been a long time coming and it will be a blessing in the end.
But, I'm worried that this surgery may not take care of all my problems. I am very concerned about my reaction post op hormonally. The plan is to leave at least one of my ovaries....I've read that sometimes even with an ovary left your hormones don't automatically kick back in. I have warned my DH that this is a big concern. I know he'll do anything he can to help...but he just get the whole hormonly thing.
As you all can see, emotionally I'm all over the place. For every negative thought, I try to counter with a positive. But I catch myself tearing up for absolutely no reason. Prior to all of this, I rarely cry. It's just not me, it's not that I don't feel sad, I just don't usually cry. Now I will just feel a wave come over me and tears will come. I am worried, if I'm coming undone now, preop, what will happen postop? I am seeing my gyn MD in a couple of days and am seriously considering asking for some antidepressants or sedatives. I think I'm losing it and can't share it with any one here! They'll freak out and smother me with attention and I'll not take it nicely, because I'm freaking out! Ugh..

Thanks so much for putting up with my ranting and raving!

KH
TAH coming up soon

Lots of hugs coming your way! Sorry to hear about the freak-out. I started to freak-out about one week before my surgery, and instead decided to clear my calendar. I took it easy. What wasn't done, was not getting done. I had to do that to calm myself, or I would have been a wreck. My MD looked like she could be carded, too, LOL! I had 2 face-to-face meetings with her, plus an exchange of emails. I had no reason to doubt her, though, so I put my full trust in her. She was wonderful, as was the hospital staff. Hang in there, take deep breaths. Giving yourself time to relax before the surgery is a wonderful gift to yourself, and I would hope that hubby and kids understand that. Good luck!

KH

My story is different than yours. I normally cry at the drop of a hat - have since I was a kid. As I wait for my castle trip to be scheduled, I am quite the opposite. I have never been happier. I have had the craziest heavy bleeding (ended up standing in a puddle at work)

The one thing that I do know - I have read lots of posts similar to yours. Be encouraged by the support that you have from family and friends. Let them help you.

Maybe as I get closer to my date (that I still don't have), I will need your support. Until then, I'll be praying for you - for successful surgery, happy healing, and positive post-op everything.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by KHltd I am seeing my gyn MD in a couple of days and am seriously considering asking for some antidepressants or sedatives.

That sounds like a good idea to me. I did the same thing and it saved my sanity during my pain-filled, stressful pre-op days.

Do what you need to do. Medical professionals are there to help us.

Many s and Best Wishes,

Hi,
I'm new here. I have my TAH, BSO for large ovarian cyst, endometriosis , "possible" cancer....scheduled for Dec. 27.

I understand your emotions! I thought today...11 days left! I am an emotional person and have explained to folks that as THE DAY approaches, I will get very nervous.

I think you have done well with planning but be sure to plan for YOU. It is just me and my husband here, so the holiday will be easy. I had planned to go to my sister's on Christmas Eve but decided I needed that day for peace, quiet and rest since surgery is two days after Christmas.

Keep up the positive thoughts! I find that writing in a journal helps me deal with emotions.

Remembering you,
Chocolate Queen
(Hoping my chocolate obsession eases after surgery!)

KH ,

I was calm, cool and collected .... UNTIL the week before my surgery, I thought I was going to go crazy and take my DH and dogs with me. The night before I wasds a nut case. Thankfully my Dr. did give me something to help me and it worked up until that day, then I refused to take thinking it would somehow interfer with my surgery. My Dr. said they planned onme taking it so everything was planned for that, so I ended up suffering for no reason.

I am a control freak and thought things would never get done unless I did them ... WRONG!!!!

Please the best thing you can do right now is stand back, take a deep breath, BREATHE and take care of YOU!!!! The best gift you can give you family is as relaxed as possible wife and Mom. I know it is easier said than done, but call your Dr. have him/her give you something to help calm you down.

Good luck and GREAT BIG
Barri

Thank you all so much! It was a temporary (but probably not the last) freak out. Facing the third Christmas event, (two back to back at our house) to get through this week, was my breaking point today.

I made a list this evening of the things that HAVE to be done, and there's not much on there. I can clear it all tomorrow. DH said he couldn't care less that Christmas dinner (the real day this time) might consist of pizza or Chinese food.....lol.

Thanks to the advise I found on this site, I have started in on all the ME things I want to do before the big day. I have rearranged our bedroom, to make it easier to get in and out of bed (about 2 weeks ago). Set up my bedside table, even bought 5 new books (a personal pleasure) and they are stacked and ready for recovery time. I even bought new pjs! I also finished all my paperwork for preop and have my disability papers printed for the MD's office to finish.

So, after a few deep breaths, and a nice nap, I feel better. But I am still going to ask Dr. about something to help me, just in case. I have already printed my preop suggested questions from this site and wrote in my own questions too.

Sometimes it's helpful to be so prepared, until you become obsessed. I think by Monday I'll be as good as it's going to get and can just chill. If it's not done by Monday night, it's not going to happen.

Thanks again!

KHLTD we both have the same castle date! and yup, I freak out on a day to day basis -sometime hourly. lol. Im also a organizer - my son says im overcompensating. hes probably right. I have so many list - its not funny.
My co-workers are so glad im getting my work done ahead they dont say anything, but think they will be glad when im off- or at least for a week or so.
I also have a great support system at home too- but they all know i have anxiety issues to start with so are pretty used to it. I already ask dr. if the morning of surgery i could take a zanex and got the ok.
Between work, family and holiday prep-im constinatly on the go. While in some ways it adds stress- im kind of glad for the distractions. This week is already topped out. Monday we have a christmas party, tuesday my dad has surgery, wednesday is my sons christmas concert - so i took thursday off just to breathe.
Woke up at 5 this moning and couldnt sleep. Brain was just going at a million miles an hour. then looked outside this early morning, we are getting pounded with a snow storm. Maybe its GODS way of saying slow down. just wish my brain would too.
We're all in this together- keep posting - it helps to talk to other going through simular things.
TAV with cervix removal/keeping overies.

KH

Hi! looks like we are in the same boat. I too am scheduled for surgery on the 21st. I'm having a SAH but will only be keeping 1 of my ovaries due to a melon sized cyst. I'm worried about the whole hormonal thing and ovarian failure also. I tell myself to not worry about the things that could go wrong and just deal with the problems as they arise. I have a great support group at home and have already taken care of the Christmas thing. I figure my job will be to recoop ASAP. The rest will just have to suffer abit cause it's really not that important. Please let me know how things are going with you. I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone.

LL

It's really normal to be nervous and I can tell you that a lot of us felt like the waiting before surgery is the worst part. It was for me! Try to breathe, and remember we're all here for you.