sexual relations after hysterectomy?

Hi Ladies,

I asked my doctor how long I would have to wait to have sex after my hysterectomy, and he said 6 weeks. Well, I realized I may not have been entirely specific. I am ASSUMING he means 6 weeks to wait to have intercourse. That makes total sense to me.

But, does anyone know if you can have "other sexual relationtions" (non-intercourse sexual relations to put it not so bluntly) BEFORE 6 weeks? And, if the answer is yes, can you start non-intercourse sexual relations just when you feel ready (prior to 6 weeks)?

Sorry for such a personal question, but it is something I've been wondering?

Thanks!

I don't know the answer but that's a good question lol now you have me wondering too lol

Hi there! Don't worry about the personal nature of the question. It's something that most (((sisters))) really need to know.

My doctor was very specific in the post-op instructions -- "nothing in the vagina for six weeks" or until cleared by the doctor (which actually happened at 5-1/2 weeks). I could have engaged in other sexual activity (what we call "outercourse", or manual stimulation) earlier, so long as nothing (a penis, a finger, a vibrator, etc.) entered the vagina.

This doesn't mean, however, that outercourse is OK for you. The best course of all is to have a frank discussion with your doctor, and don't worry -- he has been asked this question before! He'd much rather have you ask than go ahead and do something which could hurt yourself.

Also, I remember that I did have some times during my post-op healing period where I felt like a teenager with raging hormones and a sex drive to match. I learned that there was a completely logical explanation for this: your hormone levels may fluctuate wildly after hysterectomy, whether or not your ovaries are removed, and your sex drive can fluctuate right along with your hormones. It really helped me to know that those feelings were completely normal.

Most of the time, though, even with the raging hormones, I just didn't feel "well enough" generally to even seriously contemplate any sort of sexual encounter. And to his credit, my dh said he had absolutely no interest in pursuing anything until we could *both* enjoy it.

In the end, we waited until I was about 7-8 weeks post-op to attempt intercourse, and we never tried any outercourse during the healing period at all. To be honest, I don't remember the first time very well, except I remember that it was just "OK". Again, completely normal..... Sometimes the first attempts at intimacy are fantastic, but more often you are still tender and apprehensive and it takes a while to really enjoy yourself again.

Hope this helps.

You should check out this thread in the Post-op Hysterectomy Support Group Forum "Couple Fun" before six weeks (January 3/08)
It had some good posts. Personally I am 6 weeks post op from TVH and have not attempted intercourse yet, but having big Os since about week 3. No problems for me - and as some others have mentioned big Os are better than ever!

(children mentioned in this post)

Thanks for all the speedy replies! I will check out the posts titled "couple fun". I will also be more specific with my doctor when i have my pre-op a week before surgery.

I remember after I had my second baby, I had a vaginal birth, and no damage. I knew I had to wait 6 weeks for intercourse, but within 5 days, my husband and I were fooling around doing other things, and I remember thinking how hard it'd have to be to wait 6 whole weeks to do anything if you FEEL ready to do something. with my first baby (again, another vaginal birth), I had a 4th degree tear, which is the worst possible tearing you could have, so honestly, I felt like doing NOTHING anywhere in that area for the full 6 weeks. haha.

so, I was just thinking that IF I have a good recovery, and I'm feeling good after a couple week post-op, that if it'd be OK to do other things than intercouse. If I'm feeling up to it, I would not want to wait 6 weeks to have the big O! :-) But, knowing there is internal healing going on, I don't know how that would affect anything internal.

But, it sounds like maybe "outercourse" as MJD2491 put it might be just fine before 6 weeks. But, I will ask my doctor for sure at my pre-op.... and I'll be more specific than just using the word "sex". :-)

Thanks everyone!