Lack of sexual feeling, not lack of libido

I am now 14 months post TAH, bilateral oopherectomy, and have a sex drive, just no feeling. My breasts no longer swell and most often I can't even tell if my husband is touching me! Same with the clitoris. There is no feeling whatsoever, no swelling of the clitoris or vaginal lips, and of course, dryness (why not throw that in!). I am not on any HRTs, though I had started out on bio-identicals. There was no feeling then either, and as I weaned off of the estrogen, progestrin and testosterone, there were no symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats or inability to sleep, most of which were there on the meds, especially the lack of sleep.

Anybody in the similar situation and knows what to do? Doc had prescribed a viagra cream for the clitoris, which worked one time and never again. At a loss at 46 as to how to have sex without feeling it! Help!

I am so glad you wrote this message. I was beginning to feel that I was all alone. I have not lacked for desire either its just that I too had little to 0 response. I have been in to see my doctor a few times without much success. I too have complained of no feeling of stimulation of the nipples, no swelling of vaginal lips and no feeling or swelling of my clitoris during foreplay. There have been a few times that every thing seems to work just fine but so many failures. I have adjusted the HRT many times to try and find a balance. At times I feel as if I just want to give up. I started out on .5 Divagel 6 weeks after the hysterectomy and there were several times sexually everything worked just fine. Then for some reason everything just stopped responding. I went back to see my Doctor and he put me on DS Estratest. What a nightmare. I cried all the time, no sexual response at all and my anxiety increased daily. Finally he suggested I see a therapist and put me on Zanax. I saw the therapist for several weeks. There wasn't a problem with my mind only my hormones. He was the one that put two and two together and had me stop taking the Estratest and worked with me on stopping the Zanax.Within a week of going back on the .5 divigel I felt a 100x's better but still no response sexually. I started Testosterone cream a month ago at .5 2X a day but within 14 days I had to cut it back to .3 2X a day due to increased aggression and I had started crying again. Last week I had 1 great sexual experiance. The rest since then have been just awful. I am going back to see my Doctor tomarrow. I am going to ask to up the Divigel to point .75. I don't know if it will help but I just have to keep trying and find a balance that will work for me. Its seems to me at times that HRT is like throwing dice you never know what combination will work for you. I do believe that the HRT is important and plays an important role in sexual response. I am not going to give up until I get it right. I don't have an answer on what is right but I will get there. I hope you will keep working on a solution that will work for you. I will keep in touch. I am 7month post surgery.

Thank you for sharing! I have been doing more research and found a clitoral vacuum that I will give a try. Check out the information for EROS - it looks somewhat promising. I too will continue searching and had hoped that there was someone out there with some answers. I have three other girlfriends with similar problems, none of whom shared this with me BEFORE I had surgery! For vaginal moisture, we have all had luck with KY Liqui-Beads, as they are non-estrogen moisteners. But still no feeling.

I am so upset that I am at a complete loss. Will I ever have an orgasm again. Before my oopherectomy I had no problems at all!! No I have not even a little bit of a desire for sex. Among the weight gain, night sweats, hotflashes, etc, etc.... I feel honestly like I am in somebody else's body. I wish so bad I could go back and never of had this surgery. It was so unnecessary for me. I am so mad at the doctor who did not inform me. I know there is not use in wishing to go back but cannot help it. I have been living like this and feeling like crap for way to long and still now answers. In my opinion the doctors I have seen all are just quacks and just do not seem to even care. I thank everybody who is here to listen and share. Thank You!

I am SOOOOO sorry you have been feeling this way. I, too, have similar problems. I truly believe that desire is in your mind . . . you know, that old mind over matter deal? I enjoy the closeness with my husband and I WANT to feel something, but I know if I am sexual with him, it is good for both of us. The orgasms are nothing like they were, and I agree, I might have done it differently had the doctors informed me of these possible outcomes (I saw 3 doctors before making my decision to have the TAH BLO and NONE of them said a thing about these lasting issues!!!). In wanting to be with him, I have overcome the desire problem. In not having orgasms, I am having to keep telling myself "It is just different now, not gone." I no longer have the spasms, just more of an "almost there and then gone" feeling. Tell yourself it is just a DIFFERENT type of orgasm, because otherwise you will just be angry and mad at yourself for not knowing these effects of surgery. Then, begin positively looking for alternatives to make it better. I am heading to the store tomorrow to get a clitoral pump to see if that will help. Read up on that online and see what you think! Maybe it will help!

In searching the web for help, I found a clitoral vacuum that is supposed to redraw blood flow to the vaginal area. Has anyone used this type of pump and did you get any help in blood flow and thus, feeling? Trying to find options.

I was up late last night researching the internet. I found the website all about the Uros device. I wondering if that would help some? I was getting so depressed reading other womans experiences with how much their bodies have change in a negative way. I got some information from Hers about the research they had done on woman who have had Hysterectomies.
Thank you Inquisitive for you advice. I am being honest I have lost the sex drive. I cannot even have an O. I just keep thinking am I ever going to be normal in anyway, shape or form? I am going to keep researching on this and tell I find some answers. I am pray for each every one here!!

I think most of us would agree that if we knew then what we know now we would run as fast as we could out of the Drs. office and never return. On the hystersister web site their is a great article on sexual desire - sexual response that is excellent. It states that a women without ovaries who had blood levels of testosterone at 10 nanograms per milliliter or less lost libido and the ability to orgasm. With estrogen if blood levels drop below 50 picograms per mililiter women had vaginal dryness and if it was out of balance it can cause problems with response as well as the type of estrogen. My Dr. agreed with the article. I hope by working with him for a few more months maybe I can get it right. He drew blood on my past visit and I will go back in 2 weeks ( I am having another surgery this Thursday to correct a problem with the mesh in the vagina ) but hopefully he will have a few more suggestions on HRT. I have been very specific each time I have had a visit. He understands how frustrated I am but assures me we can get thru this. I hope so. Ms Inquisitive I understand you are not on any HRT right now. Maybe you should give it another try. As I said earlier when testosterone was added to my HRT I did start to have sensitivity to my nipples, labia and clitoris. I still am having difficulty with the orgasm but I am still working on it. Let us know how the vacuum works. I have seen it advertised for men but not for women.

erin i agree totally with you . no one told me either! i have no responce EVER since the op (oopherectomy plus hysterectomy) i am totally dead. it is 2 years now. i have put on over 4 stone in weight i am sooo tired i have to sleep 14 hours a day my memory is gone i am soo depressed and just long to be gone out of here i cant face life like this
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Try not to focus on the depression and anger over a situation that you, and many of us, no longer have any control. We had our hysterectomies and here we are. Let's try to make the best of what we DO have. I get up each morning knowing that it is not worse, it is just DIFFERENT. This body needs me to get used to it, and get to know it better. I had also put on weight and became tired, so I began exercising every other day. I encouraged my husband to do so and we lift weights every other day, together! On the other days we bike or walk. In the summer, I swim (he doesn't like it so much). Just moving helps to get rid of some of the weight, but remember, we are in menopause so our weight shift is another thing to get used to. PLEASE don't lose hope. Just look for another path to light your way!
Hugs and blessings to you,
Inquisitive