Home and already misbehaved!

Dear Sisters,

Made my trip to the castle Monday, DD sprung me Tuesday morning! Felt sort of crummy, but not nearly as bad as I expected. By wed I felt pretty good (this is relative, granted, given the context) and promptly proceeded to overdo it. I paid dearly!!! I really didn't think loading a few dishes and feeding the dog was so bad, ok so I did go up and down the stairs once too.. So I learned the hard way. Wed night was miserable and Thursday was so so, but I didn't do much. I think in many ways my head is in worse shape than my pelvis

My kids are staying with a wonderful lady who babysits once in a while for us on weekends, but she's really more adopted family, they think she's an extra grandma ! She adores them and is no doubt spoiling them rotten. Why do I feel so guilty??? I miss them terribly, but I know they're being very well cared for..they're coming home tonight and most likely will spend the weekend with us and then go back for the following week. My brain knows I physically can't care for them right now. DH works in DC and has a very long commute, so he leaves very early and gets home very late. I know I should shut up, I'm blessed in so many ways to have such a wonderful loving friend..but I still feel guilty. SIGHHHH.

DH is beyond helpless, so this ought to be an interesting weekend, guess I best rest up today. I stocked the freezer really well and I just hope I remember my experience earlier this week

I just mentally feel messed up. Could my ovaries (yep, ended up keeping them after DD took a look at them) be in shock? I'm sad and teary (so NOT me) I'm feeling sorry for myself (again NOT me). DH is being rather emotionally distant, and I'm home alone all day, perhaps that's it. But I guess I feel kind of abandoned, which is silly. But I'm always the one in the neighborhood that gets the ladies motivated, when there's a new baby or one of the moms has surgery or is sick..I'm always the one arranging the carpool so the one who's down doesn't have to worry about getting kids to and from school, makes sure everyone in the crew that cares to knows so they can make a freezer contribution to the household in question, etc.. Granted I never did any of these things expecting "payback" because honestly I didn't... that's just the way I was raised. But not even a "Hey how are you" phone call???? Honestly it rather has hurt my feelings, and boy is that so out of character!!

Called DD yesterday, and after he read me the riot act about taking it easy, I mentioned the emotional state, and the fact that I've been having night sweats. Asked if the ovaries could be in surgical shock, nah statistically small chance he says. He suggests anitdepressants?? Ok, that didn't go down well. He goes on to state, I know you pretty well and mood swings, outbursts and feeling sorry for yourself are awfully out of character, etc, etc.. Who knows, perhaps he's right after all. I think I'll just sleep a while and hopefully I'll have a better outlook when I get up.

Thanks for letting me ramble on and on!! Feels better knowing my sisters are out there and I can go off without having to feel like there's something wrong with me.

Gees, your story looks familiar. I had a TVH on 7/16. I am always (or at least I used to be) upbeat, happy and never gloomy. My surgery, pain has been uneventful, so I hate to complain. But I know how you feel. I am the one in the neighborhood who organizes meals for months when needed. Right up until my surgery, I was organizing cleaning and meals for someone through the end of Aug. Of course, I never did it to be repaid, yet wouldn't you think someone would help me? I am uncomfortable asking for help.....so I never waited until someone asked me for help, I just stepped right in and helped. Oh well. This normally wouldn't bother me.
I am always taking my kids places, and their friends, and running around living life on a busy schedule, with interaction with lots of people. Now, for almost 2 weeks, I've been in this house. I am so lonely. I have my kids, yet they are only children!! My only contact with the outside world is my husband, who is cranky with all the extra that's been put on him. He leaves for work early and hasn't been home before 7 since my surgery. This is his usual schedule, yet I want him home more. He keeps telling my kids he's gonna get home early, so they can golf, or go to the pool...yet he hasn't, and all I hear all day, is When is dad coming home. I have brought this up to him, yet he just says, don't you think I want to be home? He has all this stuff going on at work all the time. I feel so selfish having these feelings. But what about me??
I tell you I never feel this way. Do you think it could be hormonal? My dr. left my ovaries. I don't have any hot flashes. Or am I just being a brat, 10 days post-op??

Well anyways mrspeel, I guess misery loves company, so I was glad to read your post.
I hope you wake up to your old self again.

Do you not think that both of you are such special women? You both have been given the gift of compassion. That is what you two are missing from others. It is not unusual to want people to care for you when you can't care for yourself.

Neither one of you are BRATS. I know because I am not one either. I felt that my husband was running away from me and the responsibility of taking care of me. He assured me that it was not the case, but every chance that he got he was out of the door. In all fairness to him, my mother came down to take care of me a day before my surgery and was with me for 3 weeks. She was there because I knew from questions that I had asked my husband prior to the surgery that he would not be available--physically or emotionally. Oh boy, could I tell some stories.

This is not about me so I won't. I just wanted to let you all know that I do understand. I had my mother to talk to so I was blessed.

Do not let pride stop you two from calling other people and asking them to come see you. I know because that is an area where I am working to improve myself. Everyone has not been given the GIFT, so don't expect them to be like you two.

If you don't want to be alone, then ASK. Children are fine but it is not the same as having an adult around.

To mrspeel: make sure that you help your dh feel successful by finding at least one thing or several things that you can complement him on this weekend. Men need encouragement...like we don't ...well, they need more. He may feel more inclined to helping when he feels appreciated. It can't hurt.

Well, I really just wanted to let you both know that my heart went out to both of you after reading the posts, and that I had to let you know how SPECIAL that you both are in a world where it is every man for himself.

Blessings to both of you.

I had my trip to the castle last friday, and I am having a lot the same feelings. DH has had two strokes and two heart attacks in last three years. My mom came to stay and take care of him and our two girls aged 4 and 9... but boy it is tough to not get up and do all the caretaking tim used to doing... and even harder to take the help I am being offered.

I am not a weepy person either, but the last few days...:cry: ... you would not believe how weepy I am.

My pain has not been bad (thank goodness) but that has made me want to do so much more than I should. Thank god my mom (the gestapo) is here to send me back to bed when I appear and try to do for the kids or DH. Do you have someone that could come be a "gestapo" for you? to make sure you dont do to much?

JessieC

TAH 7/20/01

Hi out there I know how you all feel on a nother level. I haven't had the surgery yet but my problem is coming from my family. I expected a little more comfort from my dear sisters who both have had hyst and several complications before they did. If I could be there in the flesh I was always calling to make sure they were fine. One of my sisters hasn't called me since I have been sick and the other stopped calling when I had my laparscopy done. What is it shouldn't they want to know how there little sister is doing. Don't they care. It really hurts. My mom is coming down when I have the surgery but she is kind of up in age and really want her to get her rest she just had surgery on her eyes for cataracs. You know mothers if there babies need them they will be there. I have always been there when the family has needed me, but what can you say

Hi

Could it be that people feel embarrassed to offer help as you are always the organiser? Do ask for help - I'm sure they will come running when they realise your plight.

I have been so lucky as I have the support of a marvellous friend who had the op 2 years ago and totally understands. She explained to my husband what help I would need and he has been home with me for 2 weeks. He does everything because he wants me to get better. Nonetheless I am quite weepy - I keep thinking of my mother who died 11 years ago and wishing she were here.

Hang in there

To Brenda-Ann: I know that there is nobody like our moms. Just know that she would have been there for you if you needed her. Look at Seabreeze's mom. It's allright to cry.


To Seabreeze: Your sisters should be ashamed of themselves. I can not believe that they are not running to help you. Even my spoiled baby sister offered to come down and take care of me. They should at least want to help their mother. Let me know how I can get in touch with them. I'll give them what for

I was just joking because I wouldn't divulge what you have said here. However, is there anyone who could talk to them on your behalf? Maybe, your . I hope that they will rise to the occasion once you have had the surgery


I will keep both of you in my prayers.