stressed if I'll ever be the same

I'm now three weeks post-op today!!!!! I am off all pain meds except for aleve. I still have discomfort when I walk.

I am so so scared that sex will never be the same. I am having so much anxiety that my sex life is ruined forever!!
I also fear that I will never wear normal clothes again.

It stresses me to limit that they had to take my cervix but I did not have a choice.

Please, someone give me some positive feedback!!!

I'm also around 3 weeks. (April 10) I also have alot of anxiety about "the first time." Try not to worry as it is still weeks away. Yesterday after my post op (internal) exam, I felt a little better about the sex issue. I just figured if that felt ok, uncomfortable but ok, then fooling around will be ok too. And ALOT more fun. From what I've read it's a good idea to stock up on lubricant and try to plan a relaxing evening. My husband is very understanding and I trust that everything will be alright. Talk to your partner about your worries, that may help you feel less anxious.

Take it one day at a time honey - I can so understand your anxiety. I am 8 weeks post-op and although I have the clearance for sex I am still squeamish and anxious - I think I am still not emotionally ready - or maybe just paranoid that all the bits and pieces down there are in working order. Hubby is waiting for me to give him the cue. I am beginning to thaw out a little - so I know it will happen soon. Clothes-wise nothing fits right , or looks right but my new body is only just settling down - it just takes time. Remember hon, most of us are going through what you are. You are not alone. Try not to worry...

I am also stressing the first time after but I am ready for it some times. I don't know from one day to the next I have 4 weeks till post op appt and everytime i try to wear something it makes me want to burst into tears my belly is swollen and I only have a few things that I can wear that will actually go over my swelly belly and won't cut me in two by the end of the day. I was not a small woman when I started this adventure but even my fat girl clothes fit tight I just want to cry and hope that it will go away soon.

Don't worry about sex. I've been obsessed with it and last night we tested the waters. Everything is in working order. It was a little sore but not to bad. I think I was to nervous to enjoy it so next time I think I'll have a glass of wine to calm my nervous.

This week I've started to fit back into some of my old cloths. I've noticed at the end of the day I have my swelly belly but it seems to be going down.

I think we are all nervous about the first time. I like to think of it as being able to give my DH my "hyster virginity". LOL Chin up, we still have a bit of time before we have to fret about it. Lots can change in a week, let alone 2.

Dear Soulmates:

May 1st will be 11 weeks since my TAH/BSO. I too had wondered how everything was going to work in regards to sex. I think I scared myself reading the sexual dysfunction stuff on this site too much.

We waited until after 6 weeks and took things very slowly the first couple times. No issues or problems, and I was only a little sore. Now, about 4 weeks after that, it is better than before surgery!

Hang in there, don't stress over it. Concentrate on getting well, healing right, and pamper yourself. You'll have an easier time when you're ready to resume sex if you make up your mind now that it will be fine.

I am almost back in my regular clothes, but not quite. Still get swelly belly if I overdo it sometimes, but not often. I had gained some weight before surgery just because I felt so blah and yucky for so long and didn't have any energy. So, I am almost back in my fat clothes. This is going to take time, which I am not fond of, but I know I will get there -- and so will you!

I keep reading on here, give yourself time, take it easy, pamper yourself, etc. and being 11 weeks out, I can tell you that there is real wisdom in that advice.

Take good care of YOU!

Laurel

Thanks for the encouragement!!!

soul:
If you can, go out and buy some stretchy pants, maybe even one size larger than you normally wear. I am 3 months out this week and still can't get into my clothes. I think the swelling just takes time and we have to get back to normal activities before the weight will come off.

I just had my 4 week post op today. I asked my doctor about what to expect concerning sex. His wife also had a hysterectomy, which he performed, and he said that things would go back to normal. He's speaking from experience and I believe him. He's a wonderful, compassionate person and I feel confident that he's telling me the truth. Both DH and I were relieved. I think I'm with sw34; I'll try that glass of wine before we have the big adventure!