So many emotions....

I had my hysterectomy a week ago Tuesday - so I guess I'm about 8 days out at this point. I have so many emotions right now, I feel like I am going crazy (don't know if this has anything to do with hormones - I did keep one ovary). First, I feel such a sense of loss. I have two boys (ages 5 and 1) and we did not plan on having any more children. But still... the finality of it all is so hard. Like some of the other posters, I can't stand to see babies or pregnant women right now - it just makes me feel so sorry for myself. Second, I keep yelling at my 5 yr old. I feel so bad, but I swear I feel like I just can't control my emotions. Finally, I am frustrated, because no one seems to understand how much pain I am in, that I'm not faking it just so I can lay in bed all day, and that I really do need help. I've had pain issues for three and a half years now, and I think my family just got so tired of hearing about it, I feel like they question whether it really is that bad (it is, believe me). Pain meds don't work for me, but I keep trying new ones - so I think it looks to people like I am just trying to get drugs. Hopefully the hysterectomy will help my pain issues - it's hard to tell now since I still have pain from the surgery. My husband owns a business and just can't take too much time off work - so it is nearly impossible to get help taking care of my kids (especially the 1 yr old). I guess what it boils down to is that for some reason, I am so sad about losing my uterus - I can't seem to control my anger and other emotions - and I am frustrated with the lack of support from my family. Is anyone else struggling with any of these issues?

Hello fellow Marylander! I'm from Frederick Co. but live in TN now.
I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you! I had my TVH on the same day you did. It must be so difficult to take care of 2 young children one of which is a year old & recover from surgery at the same time. I can't even imagine it! My youngest in 15. I'm certain that the recovery, the pain issues, & the lack of family support are coloring your world right now. I've had the same thing happen to me the last time I had surgery. It's a bit of a road, but things really will get better!

Good luck to you & please know that there are people out there who care!

Dear Bradox
I live in so. west florida, and had a TAH (total abd. hyst.) on 4.9.08. Single, live alone, no children.....This is a great website where u will find support and fellowship. Much of what u describe seems to go with the territory of having this surgery, although we are all certainly unique. One good thing u dont hv 2 try and search for anything that sounds like u . u can just b ur self. and u will start 2 c common threads.

Many of the girls (interestingly whether they hv children or not) seems to hv diff. with seeing other children and or managing their own. It's not unusual and seems to get better with time.

My family also was extremely supportive and just learned to take what I was saying about the way I felt at face value , esp. when they couldnt understand it. Not 2 days ever seem quite alike when u r recovering. It's day to day.

I lost my uterus, ovaries, tubes and cervix. I grieve for it sometimes and and go rah, rah other times. I can tell u that the 4-6 week benchmark is no magic bullet. Neither is whether u keep an ovary or not. The estrogen levels in ur body are diff. and going to change some more. U already hv estrogen in ur body , but it's going to hv to adjust. It def. sounds like hormones

Did ur doc say u needed . With me I found that somedays I was feeling better and the next day it felt like 2 steps forward and one step back.

I am finally learning to say to myself that even though I may not be able to tell in some discernable way that healing and recovery are taking place, it is somewhere in my body and that everyday it's occuring on some level.

Look for the silverlining dear. It's there 4 u. Tell ur family that u appreciate their support and u know they hv been thru a lot with u and that there are going to b some things that they do not understand and maybe never will, But thatu r trying 2 do the best u can.
Good Luck, stay strong, Moira