Post-Op Reality

I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago today. I am feeling overwhelmed with what I cannot do. I cannot function as I did simply because my body will not cooperate. I am tired and am still taking Vicodin because I push myself and end up in pain and am worried that I may become dependent on this drug. My husband , although sympathetic, is not there in any real way. The day to day care of our daughter, who I am to homeschool as well as take care of my home based business and everything else around the house, falls squarely on my shoulders. I am told to relax and take it easy, but it is abundantly clear that I cannot. I feel that it is all out of control and I do not like that. Can anybody tell me how long I should expect to feel this way, how much of it is reality, and how much is psychological.
I had a total hysterectomy for carcinoma insitu CIN III. I also had endometriosis. This was done abdominaly.
I feel very much alone in all this. Any feedback would be terrific.
Thanks,
Ginia

Oh, 2wks post is so early yet. It sounds like you are having a hard time adjusting to the knowledge that you are not superwoman. lol

This was very hard for me to come to terms with. Please be patient with yourself. I had a TAH as well and you really need to pamper your body. 2wks is just about the time I figured out how to go to the bathroom without causing myself pain.

I am sorry that your husband is not being supportive in all this. Pain and sickness tends to scare our loved ones so most of them play the avoidance game. Others just say really stupid things because they don't know what to say. Is your hubby receptive to talking about how you feel? Are there any family members or trusted friends who would be willing to care for your daughter for a while?

I don't know about the addictiveness of the pain meds, but if you are concerned talk to your doc. Surely, there must be something he can give you which is non habit forming. I definitely would call the doc.

Let us know how everything works out.

Hugs & Prayers,

Ginia , I think the pain you are feeling is normal for 2 weeks down the track. I didn't start to feel I could do much untilabout week4.. I think you need to let your husband know that you have to rest and that unless you rest sufficiently you will not recover quickly. My husband was more concerned and helpful after his mother had a word to him(she lives in Italy and had a hyst many years ago). I think you could cut back on the home schooling for a couple of weeks. Also when you are feeling bad it's hard to see the future clearly and believe me you will start to feel a lot better in a few weeks time.
Hugs to you
Suesie

It might help to have your doctor explain things to your husband. You should have help caring for your daughter, and should be lying down resting for most of the day - not teaching (or cooking, or cleaning). The more you do, the slower you will heal, and the greater your chances of complications. Sisters working outside the home typically take 4-8 weeks off work, and so should you.

Are there other home-schoolers who can help out - each taking your daughter for a few days? Maybe the hospital could refer you to a social worker who can help you make arrangement for a sitter/tutor.

Good luck! And do whatever you can to let yourself heal!

Thank you all so much for your replies! Unbelievable, really, how un-alone one can feel with feedback.
Thank you. Thank You. Thank you.
Yesterday things were more under control ( I sound like a control freak) which made me feel things were on their way back to normal. I haven't been able to get back to work on my business yet, but I see that happening soon enough.
I am easing off the vicodin. Last night took just one and a half. Eased my abdominal pain and sent me off to sleep.
This has been such an up and down experience. The person who wrote that original note is not the person who sits here today at the computer. I think that I have a lot of issues with my husband which are being magnified at this time in my life such as a non existent intimate relationship for some years now...and with the removal of my uterus it seems my whole sense of female self is negated. I have a lot of issues and feel that I will seek therapy.

Again thank you all for your support.
XXGinia

So, "psychological" is not reality??? What we feel is not real??Certainly, every emotion we feel has a biological base. We have brains that can adapt and learn and in that way, we can control our behavior and thoughts and emotions and physiological responses. However, please know that you've been through a whole hell of a lot and will take time to heal physically and emotionally. We've got to let go of this "it's all in your head" mentally. Cut yourself some slack and then expect your loved ones to cut you some slack. I think you need help in your recovery, help with kids, business, home. I know I did (do). I'm 5 weeks post-op tomorrow and just walking slowly through a mall still exhausts me. So much was done to your body. You experienced a great trauma. I hope it gets easier for you and that your recovery is quick, but in the meantime make sure you express clearly what you need from your loved ones.

My dear:

I had a TAH one June 25th -- and am still forcing myself to take it easy. I too have a lot of work to do with my house and business at home (although no children). My Mom and my DH helped look after me for the first 4 weeks! And believe me, I let them (and normally I am the type of person who does everything). Do not rely on pain killers to help kill pain so that you can do more things around the house whatever you do! You will only end up causing more problems for youself in the long-run. You have to look after yourself as much as you can for the next three to four weeks -- and take it easy as much as you can. Ask anyone you can for help -- your husband; friends; relatives; neighbours, if you have to --- or pay someone to come in to help you!! You must look after yourself!

Good luck and God Bless.

Lou

hi, just wanted to let you know what my doc said when I was worried about taking pain killers, he said if you are in pain and need them you will NOT get addicted. Ask your own doc about that if you are concerned. It put my mind at rest

Steph

I posted a thread at my two week mark (7 weeks ago) with exactly the same questiona bout pain meds. If you look back and search you may find it . If I can find it I will move it up to the current day. It was about feeling bad that i needed pain meds at two weeks. I was busy comparing myself with others and felt like a wimp. By the third week I was using very little but occas I would have a bad day and need it. I am 9 wks and back to life and once in a while advil doesnt cut it and I take 1/2 vicodan in the evening. Every one is different . As long as you pain is slowly improving. If it continues bad enough to take it at the same amount as the first week at say 3-4 weeks you might check with the dr to see if something else is going on. Bladder infections can cause more pain. Every day gets better and better!!

Hi Ginia,

Just wanted to say that at 2 weeks post-TAH, your recovery is only beginning to get off the ground. The initial recovery period of this surgery is 6-8 weeks. That's 6-8 weeks of taking it very easy.

It's no surprise that your body is protesting the activity. It's crying for rest so that it can devote all its energy to the critical healing process. This surgery was MAJOR! There are countless stitches inside you that will be dissolving soon, leaving weakened tissues to take over. This starts usually around 3-5 weeks. That's why the initial recovery period is 6-8 weeks...so you can get past this wall.

I was on my pain meds into my 3rd week post-op, and I wasn't pushing it the way you are. My Dr. didn't have any problem with it...I was in bad pain from the surgery, but I was slowly tapering off with the meds until I took them only at night for a few days.

I'm sorry your husband isn't understanding, but a situation like a major recovery will often magnify problems that were pre-existing. I pray that the two of you will be able to work things out in time!

In the meantime, please do everything you can to get the help you need. You only have ONE chance to heal properly from this surgery, and this is it!

My very best to you...

Linda