You are having a very rough go right now...I'm sending you some gentle, healing
I understand a great deal about what you're talking about. My DH also works long hours, and had to take care of the 3 kids at night. Yes, it's stressful, but you'd do it all in a heartbeat for your DH if the situation was reversed, right?
You must resolve right here and now not to stress out too much about those things you cannot control, such as the house, etc. Your proper recovery is NUMBER ONE. Without your health, nothing else will matter, as you will not be able to be there for your precious family and friends down the road.
I'm really sorry that you are having complications at a time in recovery that can be rough without
complications. You are more fragile now, as your internal stitches are dissolving, leaving weakened tissues to take over. You may be feeling lots more sensations of healing at this point.
Please accept ANY and ALL offers of help. Call friends that haven't offered to do things for you...they may not know your needs. You WILL get your life back, but you must
accept that it will take some time. I didn't have complications as bad as yours, and I didn't feel like myself until 3-4 months post-op. Your body has been through a lot, Christie. Try to think in terms of being good to yourself, even though that goes against the guilt you are feeling.
Yes, your oldest son is having free reign for awhile, but when you're stronger and more in control again, that will change, you'll see. Some things have just got to slide for awhile for the sake of your long-term health. Yes, the care and rest you get now will determine how well you'll do months down the line.
I'm sending yet more hugs, and please remember, you only have ONE chance to heal properly from this surgery, and this is it!
My very best to you...