HELP! I feel like a sinking ship that noone can save.

I really don't know where to begin I had a complete hyst w/bil. s/o. Nov. 14th, 2007 (I needed no hormones, no menopause symptoms). Surgery went well, well as well as to be expected. They had to cut me from the belly button down to my whohoo. Massive scare tissue, wrapped around everything, worse than what they thought. But I recovered quickly and was so thankful to be painfree and to be able to be "with" my husband again that I was on cloud nine till about March or so. Then the depression has set in. I was on anti-depression meds before to help me deal with everything I was going through and it worked. I am still on them but it doesn't phase the pain. I think I was so grateful to be painfree that I didn't deal with the emotional part of it all. I am 29 yrs old, happily married, and have one beautiful daughter-I should be happy, but I am not. I feel like everything that made me a woman was riped from me, my chances at giving my husband a child, and my little girl a sibling has been taken from me and I had no choice. I had stopped coming to the board because I thought the surgery is over and I feel great so I can move on, but now I can't. Noone in my family has ever had to go through this not at such a young age. They were older women that was beyond child bearing years. I don't know how to cope with this pain!! I am going back to the dr. today to see if they can change some meds to help me. I would be happy to curl up in a ball in bed and stay there forever. I have mood swings to where I can't even stand myself. I try to cover the pain, and everyone thinks I am okay because the physical pain is gone but the emotional pain is a million times worse because there is not a pill to make it go away. I need advice from you girls to help me move on , to deal, to accept what has happened. I have to stop typing now because I am crying..

OHhh Bless your heart!!! We are here for you... i cried all night lastnight too.... YOUR NOT ALONE! I started to cry while reading your post!!!!

I'm older than you... 43... had TAH 6 weeks ago... go for my 6 week check up today.

I like you feel really depressed and sad. I have two girls one 22 and one 15... but you know .. I would have liked to have had 1 more! So I feel like you do... I have some girls friends who are having babies and it just seems so final for me.

I'm going to have to talk to my doc today about anti depressants... maybe you need to have yours adjusted? And since you can't talk with your family and because you are soo young .. maybe fine a therapist to go see. We have to vent and we have to get it out of our souls somewhat in order to cope with our feelings! I'm here anytme you need to vent... :O)

kclark32

Thank you so much. Its comforting to know I am not alone in this pain or despair. I am going to go into detail with my dr. today so she knows what I am facing everyday. When it started I tried to blame it on everything else, stress, work, my thyroid. But I have faced what the problem is now so that is a start right,? I'll be back to let you know what the dr. says.

Hi PEEP im sabrina and i just turned 27 in june i had a complete lvah in may and im right where you are now i am happily married and have 1 child a boy but i always wanted another child for him to be able to play with but more than that i to just feel so incomplete like what made me a woman is no longer there if im not a man and not a woman what am i i know exactly where you are coming from im never happy anymore i dont smile i dont laugh it takes everything for me just to get out of bed and bother to get into the shower let alone take time to do my hair or makeup i havent dont that in a long time i hope things go well at the dr and i hope to talk to you again soon good luck and lots of love Sabrina