Prolapse repair Surgery in 4 days, am I making right decision?

HI!

My surgery is on Aug 19, in only 4 days for hysterectomy, cystocele and minor rectocele. My symptoms started back in May and I have been having pretty good success with the Pessary, although I don't like using it. My pressure is much reduced from what it was but overall I feel my quality of life is not the same which is why I am doing the surgery. I really hate having the bladder bulge into my vagina and the cervix so close to the opening and that whole area just feels kind of gross because of that. I am only 37 and have 2 boys, ages 4 and 6. I have been constantly doubting myself on whether I should have this surgery now or if I should have delayed it. One side of me wants to do it now while I know I am healthy physically so I can recover well and have a good active live with my boys. But, the other part of me wonders if something were to happen to me because of the surgery how dumb that would have been to have it while the boys were so young and wouldn't even remember me. I know the chances are low that something could happen but I still worry a lot about it. I really want to do the surgery and move on with my life, because everytime I take that pessary in and out or I feel that pressure I just feel like something is wrong with me and I want to be my active self again, you know? But, I can't stop doubing the surgery. If I have complications or something happens to me then my boys are too young right now! But if I wait, then maybe I won't be such a great mother either.

I am also really scared of the surgery and I think I just need some reassurance that I am making the right decision and what better place to get that here. I just have to say how great it is to connect with you all because this has been such a rough and scary road.

Thanks in advance for any reassurance! I really need it!!!

Julie

Hi there=-= I am 36, have a 6 3/4 and an 18 month old. Mine didn't prolapse until the second child and I spent most of my pregnancy with the pessary. I HATED it. It blocked my colon and I had to remove it and reinsert daily in order to have a bowel movement. I know I do not want to do that the rest of my life. I opted to go without it after the pregnancy and am now at a point where the pressure and aching can get pretty bad by the end of a hectic day. Who wants to live like that??? A pack of corn between your legs while you lay on the bed at night??? No thanks.

I totally understand your thoughts though, I never had any crazy bleeding or pain, but I did have monster clots sometimes. I feel like I haven't suffered nearly as much as some of these other women. I also worry about what might happen in the worst case scenario. BUT THEN, I remember that I used to be more active with my kids and I am not willing to be the "fragile female" in the family. I am too much of a tomboy still to endure that.

I get ya, I get ya, but we ARE doing what is best for them, by taking care of ourselves.
Chin up, consider yourself lucky--I know I do. Some women have never had any kids.

i think everything you are feeling is completely normal. i just moved mine up to September because of my quality of life. i was "disabled" one day earlier this week because i went for a power walk the night before and was in TOTAL pain the next day. i'm 34 and just had my 3rd child. i am very fortunate and blessed that we were able to make a family. we were done after this anyway, so i know it's the right decision. but just like you, i am worried about the surgery aspect of it. morbid of a thought as it is, i'm making sure my "will" is in place.
also, i feel emotionally attached to my uterus...even if i won't be using it. i'm worried about how my children are going to make it without me, WONDERMOM, for a while so that i can recover. i'm worried about what my house will look like because my husband is lazy and doesn't clean anything.
i don't think you're making a selfish decision. for me, i know it's the right one. i have a bleeding disorder and i feel confident that everything will be okay...and will be with you as well!!!!
God Bless you and Protect you through your surgery and recovery!

Jenn

I'm 34 and just had my hyster I was very scarred now that I've had it and am starting to feel better I know it was more fear of the unknown. I was soooo scarred of having surgery, for the first time for me. I don't even remember going into the OR or being in recovery..........my first and last memory was seeing my dh. I hurt for a couple of days.........if I didn't have high blood pressure I think I would have felt alot better by day two. I know alot of people who have had hysterectomys and all of them say the same thing............It's the best thing they've ever done!!!! So I know it's hard to do but relax and try to think about how good your going to feel when it's all over!

I felt better almost immediately after surgery. I also worried about having the surgery. It is a major surgery and emotionally difficult also. I am very glad I had the surgery and feel so much better!

Hope you all have similar experiences - Joanne

Hi Julie, I had a TVH with rectocele and cystocele on 8/8/08. I was absolutely terified of the surgery. Everything went very well and I am getting better every day. I even went to get my hair cut today and for a Starbucks. The only problem has been with gas and tiredness other than that I feel great and am very glad I won't have to suffer anymore.

Thanks Ladies for your kind words, it is so appreciated. It helps knowing all these things I am feeling are "normal". I really feel a bit better reading these responses and will continue to do so all the way up to Tue, my surgery date. Your encouraging words might be just enough to get me through it without having so much panic in between! Thanks for taking your time to help me...what a wonderful group of women!

Julie

	Quote:
Originally Posted by jmh0802 i'm worried about how my children are going to make it without me, WONDERMOM, for a while so that i can recover. Jenn

Jenn,
I really relate about that part a lot too. I think when you are the one who "runs" the house and all the childrens needs you start to worry about how you'll cope during the recovery process. I guess when a friend calls to ask if they can do anything we should probably tell them "yes!" It's hard to reach out for help but think about how happy you'd be to help someone you care about if the roles were reversed. Good luck to you and keep in touch!
Julie

I'm recovering from my LAVH, bladder sling and rectocele repair that I had on 7/25/08. I have four kids and my dad passed away at an early age... so I've always had an abnormal fear of leaving my kids. I totally understand your apprehensions. I was there. I did it though because the prolapse, rectocele and bladder troubles were bad enough that I wasn't being the mom I knew I was. There was only about one week a month that I was me... making the other three weeks hell on them and me. And poor DH too. I opted to go for it, to make the choice to have the surgery. I'm at three weeks post op today and no it hasn't been an easy road. But there's also light at the end of the recovery tunnel. I'm getting a little better everyday. My kids know I'm recovering from surgery. My two year old twins kiss my belly boo boos everyday for me. My older two (7 and 8) sit next to me, get me water to drink and so on.

No one can make the decision for you, just sharing what I dealt with and hope it helps.

Blessings.

Hi, I'm 44 and I'll be having the bladder sling, repairs and a TAH in Sept. I've been having problems since February. I work retail, on my feet so by the end of the day, I am in major pain, discomfort, etc. I tried the pessary, twice. It was very uncomfortable.
I understand being worried about the surgery. I am scared but I also have a peace about it. I know the quality of life afterwards will be well worth it.
Being here on this board has helped me alot-hearing how others have done, etc. It helps knowing (more) about it. I think it's the unknown that scares us. THe what ifs.
Hang in there.