I'm An Emotional WRECK!

The last 2 months of my life have been trying to say the least. Now I am scheduled for surgery on Sept 2,2008. I work in a Hospital , pt care and mostly in intensive care. I help people breathe. I see all kinds of situations (of course they are all gonna happen to me ) that is my anxiety talking to me. Well I have been reading some of the get ready stuff on this web site , but I had to stop reading cause I found myself getting more freaked out. I want to cry when I read other peoples questions and concerns and I dont want anyone to be around me but I dont want to be left alone. I hope this doesnt sound too crazy. I am mad about evrything and I have been bleediing since July 6th with only 3 days of no bleeding. And I have pain all times of the day and night if Ihave a bm or stand too long and it just seems like I am a mess!!!!!
Has anybody else been as crazy as me? And yes I am still working. Thanks for any feedback .

First your not crazy. Second I think many/most of use were emotional wrecks at one point, pre-surgery. I know I was. Actually having the surgery was relief. I had a phone interview yesterday. i was asked to sum up what the word"hysterectomy" means to me...I had to say "freedom", freedom from the bleeding, the pain, the anxiety and what if worries, freedom to make plans, etc...

Working in an environment where you experience worst case scenarios on a regular basis probably does increase your "what if" stress. But it also allows you to know what tretment is possible. You might be able to anticipate questions that we might not know to ask. I am sure you see some troubling things. But you also probably see some wonderful things come out of it. I researched all the worst case scenarios, I wanted informed. Once I knew what was the worst, and all the possible outcomes I could find, I hoped for the best. What I ended up with was great.

Your mind set can make a big difference in how everything comes out for you. Do you feel emotionally attached to your parts? Is the hyster due to bleeding, or is there something more involved?(bleeding is a fine answer on its own, don't let anyone tell you different.)

As for working... I think i would still be working also. It keeps you busy and gives you less time to fret. Just make sure you have your home and support system ready before your hyster date.

Talk to us, that is why we are here...

Hey, you're not crazy. I was just like you not so long ago. I had a myomectomy to remove 8 big fibroids in 2006, and they came back with a vengence this year. I would get my period for 20-23 days and then maybe 6 days off, if I was lucky, and it was heavy and awful. Also had terrible pelvic pain that I endured every day. Read my other posts and you'll see. I am 11 days post-op, and the TAH is the BEST thing I ever did. I went to sleep, woke up, and people like you and some great nurses helped me through it. Had surgery on a Thursday, home on Sunday, and a week later, I feel better than I have felt in years. And you will too!!

Hang in there! The waiting is the hardest part. You'll do great.

The moment the doctor told me that she had proof there was something wrong with me and that I was right, I sighed with relief and said to myself, "I"m not crazy!" I seriously thought I was crazy, or going crazy. Now the emotional crap of dealing with it is driving me crazy. I'm fine one minute and in tears the next. No worries, we are all normal. Crazy or Sain... we are normal.

You are in a hospital setting where you see problems. I suspect that what you don't see are the multitudes of people who go through surgery without any major problems. But this site is full of those people!

I was just fine until the night before my surgery. Then I went into a mild panic attack. I paced the floor, my heart pounded, I wanted to wake my son just to have someone sit with me but I didn't, I wanted to call my mom just to have someone to talk to, but I didn't. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning I fell asleep. When I woke, I had just enough time to take a shower, load my bag and head to the hospital. Oddly enough, my anxiety had mostly disappeared by the time I woke up.

If you start to feel really anxious, you might give your doc a call and see if there's something he can give you to get over the hump.

Thanks to everyone for your input ans stories. It seems like this is all I can think about and everytime I think I am gonna not worry, here comes some pain or some heavy bleeding. I know I wont have the bleeding afterwards which is GOOD, but it's like this has become all consuming of my life. thanks again everybody. I'll be back soon(I'm sure).
Leevern03

Hi Leevern-I can sympathize with you. I work in a hospital also (xray tech) and as they say "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing". I am now 6 months out and so happy it is all over with. The only difference between us is that I had gone through menopause and developed bleeding 5 years later. I bled almost every day for 7 months (first appt with gyn, tests, etc. then on to gyn/onc for opinion on type of surgery to perform, Lupron injection and finally surgery 9 months after onset of bleeding). We all go through a lot of emotions before and after surgery. Remember, the sisters are here for you to talk to. I wish I had found this site before my surgery. It's nice to know you are not alone. Good luck with your surgery. You will do just fine.

Thank you so much, this is just so different and all consuming. It is nice to have a place to vent. I have never heard of so much female trouble until I got to this place in my life myself. Thanks , leevern03

What you're going through makes so much sense, and sounds so familiar. I'm now 19 days post-LSH, and feel sooo good. I really was freaking out before the surgery, and wanted to yell at everyone - or cry - I just couldn't make up my mind. It's so normal and understandable. This is huge - what you're about to go through. However, I had the utmost confidence in my doctor and the medical staff, as I'm sure you do, too. I hope that confidence will help you just a bit to get through this trying time. I hope you can focus on how good it will be when it's all over. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and do what nurtures you and your mind in this challenging time. Hang in there - you can do it. Biiiiig Hug for you.