Guilt

Ok, I was ready for this surgery. I've made all my lists and done pretty much everything but pack. Then today, I realized that I'm going to miss my son's very first college football game. This is something that I have looked forward to for years. The surgery is the 26th, and the game is the 30th and four hours away. Anyone else feeling guilty because they have to suspend their mom duties for awhile? Son understands completely, but I've been crying all day. I feel so selfish.

Savvy,
I understand where you are coming from. I have 3 boys the youngest 13. I felt so incredibly guilty and selfish that I was having this surgery during the summer and hindering any summer fun. At 13, my youngest was an amazing strength to my recovery. He was my biggest helper and sacrificed many days of his summer to wait on me. Guilt ridden is not the word. But when I told him how I felt, he simpy looked at me and said, "I only get one mother and I want her to be healthy and happy. You've taken care of me and now its my turn to return the favor". Which of course made me cry even harder.
All the feelings you are having are natural. I am 6 weeks post op this Thursday and in the end, it has been worth it.
I know it is not the same, but could someone videotape it for you, so you at least have a way of seeing it?
Try not to look at as selfish. Remember you are doing this so that you can ultimately be happier and healthier.

i feel really guilty, i have 4 kiddies aged 14, 12, 8 and 7 months and i feel so bad that i'm not gonna be able to look after them as i should for a while especially where the baby is concerned, the doctor told me i am not allowed to pick baby up for near enough 12 weeks, HOW can i do that although i know i must try if i stand any chance of this surgery doing any good.

I think you will find most of us are feeling guilty about something hunny
hugs
xxx

Oh sweetie dont feel guilty...your son understands and I am sure he wants whats best for you...there will be more games and you both will enjoy them because you will be feeling 200% better

It seems so petty to feel guilty about missing a football game when I read some of the major health problems the others are having. It's just that I've always been there for every game since he was six (he's 18 now). I feel like such a failure as a mom today. I talked to my friend about this and she thinks perhaps it's all just setting in that this surgery is actually going to happen.

Look at it this way. Having the surgery now, you are not going to have to miss any more games...you will feel like a new woman. You are very blessed to have your son's support! Can someone tape the game and then you watch it with your son? Best wishes being sent your way. Take it easy on yourself. We have to stop and take care of us so we are here for the long haul.

I never thought about taping the game. Just knowing that I won't BE there is what has me so upset. Every mom wants to be there if her baby gets hurt, you know? But I do feel better now and at least his dad will be there. Thanks ladies. Group hug?

I understand completely. My surgery is in a.m (20th) and my son starts school on 21st. He is going into 6th grade. Daughter started senior year on Monday so that is over. I have been getting everything ready now for him, making sure proper paperwork is done and in his bulging backpack. ((HUGS))

Hey there, I have two kids a DS who is 7 and just started 2nd grade. And a DD who is 4 and starting Prek on Sep. 8th. I am worried to death that I am going to miss her first day of school. I think about it ALOT! I hope that I will be up for it but I dont want to worry too much about it because I know I need this surgery. And I know having this surgery will assure that I wont be missing any more important days/! Hugs for you!