Depressed,angry,agitated?????

Hello ladies, i need to vent and get some input from anyone who has gone thru something similar please i haven't shared any of this because i didn't want to admit that it's happening to me, but i've been feeling so depressed lately at first i figured it was because of my new lack of hormones but i have been taking estradiol for a few weeks now and the feeling has not gone away. it's like i'm the lonliest person in the world yet i'm surronded by people all the time who love me espeacially my son and baby girl, but sometimes they can't even put a smile on my face. as far as my husband i'm feeling as if we have this HUGE space between us and it's killing me and he says that there's no space that it's in my head and dismisses my concerns so i don't even bring it up anymore.my escape use to be work but after my surgery things went sour there too so i go in do my work and go home.then theres times when i'm feeling angry and agitated and i wish i had a punching bag to let it out, but i don't so i just keep it in and look miserable all the time.there is no reason for me to feel like this so i really don't know what the hell is going on, u know i go for my walks, i'm eating better i've lost a few pounds, yet i still feel like crap. when i've tried to make plans with my so called friends they tell me all week long that we are going to have fun blah, blah, blah...then when the day comes they all back out and i'm left alone once again feeling crappier than before. i don't know if this is just a slump i'm going thru or if this is going to get worse. i have severe insomnia and sleep only a few hours a night because my mind is constantly going over sceanarios that aren't even going on,i wonder about my dh having an affair bacause of the lack of intimacy and i wish i could change that but i don't know how.....this is the worse i have ever felt about myself in my life...as if i weren't a woman anymore i don't know maybe i'm just reading things between the lines that aren't even there?i don't know what to do with all this anger i have, so i'm just very unhappy with life right now..

Sorry girl, sounds like depression to me. I have been there, and am still taking meds for it years later.

I recommend letting your do know and getting on some anti-depressants. **In case the first one doesn't work, keep trying.

Or try some counseling. Talking all of the stuff out can help. I don't think anti-depressants take effect immediately, and counseling can help bridge the gap...and determine if you need the anti-depressants. Also, it might sound silly, but if you can, start an exercise program. Walk around the block, burn some negative energy, breathe deep and get rid of the stress. My favorite is kick-boxing. I won't be released to do anything like that anytime soon...I'm just 2 weeks post-TAH. But it's awesome. You can pretend that you're punching/kicking whatever it is that bugs you, get it all out of your system, and burn some calories besides. And that will help you sleep. When I can't sleep, I do deep breathing exercises. Breathe in for 4, hold for 2, breathe out for 8, and don't let yourself think about anything except breathing correctly. That helps me sleep. Just some ideas. I'll be thinking of you!

Hey!...I think maybe some meds would probably help too. I get paranoid about stuff. Who cares what other people think? YOu can't control other people, the only thing you can control is what you think....so why not think about good things positive things. Things that are true, your kids love you your husband loves you and your friends and family love...just remember truthful things when the lies and insecurity starts sinking in......

Hi I have been there many times, its like you should be really happy but you feel so alone and left out and the slightest thing makes you think it is because of you etcc..... get medication its the only thing that can lift you out of that little black hole, I was absolutely terrible until it got to the stage where i developed OCD. I have had post natal depression since having my 1st son 9 years ago and it ha been on and off since, my doc says I have a chemical imbalance and I may have to take the anti depressants for a long time but I dont care at least I am happy and back to my old self! I wish you good luck and dont leave it to long before you get help, I am sure yo will be back to your old self in no time. Chin up, you are not alone xxxxxxx

Thanks For The Advice. I'll Keep You Posted.

I, too, have been seriously depressed lately. I am over a year post-op, and got married in July 2008 (little over a month ago). My sex drive has flatlined competely - I'm taking Alvimil for it, but it's not doing anything. Thank God it helped on my honeymoon, but it is doing nothing for me now. Throw on top of the guilty feelings from that for my new husband (coming from me, not him), and my body image is shot. I have never had a weight problem, and I realize part of it is the fact that I'm 42. My metabolism used to run at like 1,000 miles per hour, now it's nothing. I've cut bread out of my diet, I'm eating better and am starting to exercise, so hopefully that'll cease to be an issue.

But what about the lack of sex drive? I feel so guilty about it - I don't feel anything! My husband is leaving today to go visit with his mother, and we had sex this morning because we wouldn't see each other for a couple of days. I went along with it because I would miss him, but there was nothing in it for me.

This from someone who used to have the sex drive of an 18 year old boy - it is killing me to feel this way.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling, because I feel like I'm going crazy.

Allyson

tink, it is not your imagination, I am going through the same thing, I just wish I could feel normal and not so depressed. I don't mind the lack of libido so much but feeling slightly depressed and nervous is not what I had in mind. I'm glad that I am cancer free but I need to find something I can take to feel better. I am thinking of trying the soy and black cohosh again, I can get that over the counter at any drug store, just not sure what to do. Without ovaries and hormones it had really changed me as a person. I'm still the same person, just not as perky and I guess you could say, bothered by things more easily, only way I can put it.

I know, I don't sleep well either since my surgery.

When I read this post, I had to look twice to make sure I was not the one who had written it. I am only 6 weeks post op but some days I feel like I am completely losing it. I tried to bring up the problem at my post op check up. I told the doc that my moods were all over the place and I was so stressed out. He really didn't even comment so I let it drop. After reading the posts, I wish I had pursued the issue. How do you make the doc understand without making him think you have absolutely lost it. Any advice? In the meantime, I am just trying to hold it all together.