Colonoscopy

The sheer volume of go-lytely is agonizing. Never again! I'd never had it before; I had a colonoscopy 3 years prior (due for another before the end of the year), and that doc has a totally different method (Fleet's phospho-soda and dulcolax). Same violent results, but much, much easier to get down.

For you ladies who have had a colonoscopy (OK, off-topic, I know) and your husbands, too for that matter, may find some amusement in this long but hilariously funny story:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.

Admin. Note: Due to Copyright laws, the entire article may not be posted here. You may, however, read the rest of it here .... http://www.miamiherald.com/283/story/427603.html

Too funny!!! It really isn't funny when you are the one doing the prep, but I guess reading someone elses nightmare when written like this is highly entertaining! There is nothing quite like a bowel prep, food poisoning cant even give a result like it. I was also still spurting the day of surgery and was concerned they wouldn't go ahead or worse - spurt once under - the positions they put you in, I could have really nailed someone. I hope I didn't and I guess they wouldn't tell you if you did as you would be mortified and not be able to look at any of the staff in the eye. I have another to look forward to as I too have to have a colonoscopy which I am fearing somewhat only because of the bowel prep and I tend to vomit profusely after I wake up from being under. Thankfully in Australia they dont make you do a gallon or even a litre. I had 2 sachets of a product called PICOPREP. I put one in a standard glass of water, threw it down (it tasted like burnt chalk with a delightful lemon tang) and wait for an hour before the faecal fun began. I had to continue drinking water atleast a glass an hour for 3 hours then take the second sachet. Appalling is the only way I could describe it. Times like this, one needs a bidet. Toilet paper no matter what quality or expense is pretty much like sandpaper and even baby wipes didn't help.

A+++ Arizona Bunny, great story!!!

In the ICU where I used to work we called it "Go-Heavily".

My husband had his first colonoscopy last month, and I definitely waited until AFTER his procedure to show him the story. He laughed so hard because it was so accurate, and is sharing it with all his friends who are "that age."

And it's a really challenging story to read out loud to someone. He read it out loud to our daughter (they carpool together), and he was glad she managed to hang onto the steering wheel.

Sparky, here they don't use general anesthesia for a colonscopy. They use a sedation technique that you wake up fairly quickly from. We (my son and I; I couldn't drive yet) took my husband in at 9:00 am and were all done and on the road back home by noon.

Instead of toilet paper I used Cottonelle wipes and plenty of vaseline each time I bonded with the toilet.

Don't laugh too hard, dear Ladybug! I see your surgery was pretty recent compared to mine -- I hope the story didn't hurt you!

Arizona Bunny, hopefully they use that here, that sure is great news if its the case, I really cant stand going under. I get more fearful of that than anything else, vomiting is not fun. I will find out one way or the other next Thursday though. Fingers crossed!

OMG I rolled with laughter!!! I had my first colonoscopy 5 days before my hyst. He description of the colon prep is right on the mark! ROFLMAO

What a great story. Thanks for the laughs.
Hope no one else has to do what I did.
When my DR suggested a colonoscopy I thought no problem I can handle the prep (who was I kidding) knowing I would not have to do it again for many years. I felt lucky as the DR said she had removed a large pre-cancerous polyp. Less than a week later I was drinking the prep again (it is even harder to get down when it is so fresh in your mind what is about to happen). Had another colonoscopy due to complications from the first one. It was really hard to get the 2nd round of prep down. I didn't even dilute the last bottle. To say the least I am not looking forward to my next one coming up soon. Will need to keep this story to read when it is time.
When anyone asks me if I have had a colonoscopy I tell them that I enjoyed my 1st one so much that I went back for another one the next week.