Lurker but having surgery in 2 weeks. Getting nervous. *children mentioned*

I've been lurking here a while but I have never posted. My surgery is two weeks from today. I am starting to get pretty nervous. I am ready to have all of this over with but I'm having a hard time with losing my child bearing ability. My husband and I don't want anymore children but there was always that possibility if we wanted more. That will now be gone. We do have 4 children. I am 34 and my husband is 43. Logically, we don't want anymore. Emotionally, I'm having a hard time giving up that ability. Anyone else feel this way?

Hi Cherry,

I was feeling the same way, and I think it's very normal. I am 41 and have two children. I had my issues with fibroids for a long time, and when they started to affect my quality of life, I knew that my kids and my dh needed me more than I needed to know that I still had a uterus.

Remember, a uterus does not make you any more of a woman than not having one.

I am 11 days post op, and I know this is was truly the right decision for me!

Good luck with your surgery!

I am scheduled for Oct 8, I cant sleep or get off Hystersisters reading stories and I am very scared...My mother died 2 years ago and my grandmother 4 months later so I dont have my strong elders who have been thru this to baby and reassure me. My mother in law is a **edit word** so I cant count her support. But I know my guardian angels and DH will help me.

I was just on the phonw with my step mom saying the same things. I am too 34 and my husband is 39. We have too beautiful children. My husband is fixed but we have talked about getting it reversed to have another child, but now that option is going to be no more. Even though I know I have to do this because of precancer, it is still very emotionally hard. Before this the histerectomy was a option and now I have no choice. Just want you to know that your NOT alone and I beleive that this is very normal ( I hope). Hope everyhing goes smoothly for you. Take care!! Hang in there!!

Yes! I know exactly how you feel. I am 43 and I have two babies - 9 months and 26 months. While I dh and I didn't plan on having more kids, I have been mourning the loss of the ability to have kids. I guess I like to know that I have the option, and that is being taken away from me.

I am being DaVinci'ed on Thursday, and I am total depressed about it. I should be thrilled to be getting this over with - potential recurrence of ovarian cancer - but I am totally distraught. I think I have too many thoughts swirling around in my head to get a grip on reality.

I am certain that there are many other women out there who feel exactly the same way we do.

Take care.

I too have been bummd for much the same reason. My fiance and I had been discussing a baby togther when the pre cancr cells began to rear their ugly head.

Most days I am looking forward to having my life back and not being a slave to painful periods and doctors appointments, but I still mourn the loss of what can not be. I find strength in you all knowing that I am not alone or any different then anyone facing the same options.

Hold tight to the precious little souls we have brought into our days, take time to mourn the ons lost to us, and have faith that we are doing what is best for us and our families!

I get the feeling that most of the women on this board have been suffering with endo., fibroids, etc. For them, the pain is often so bad it makes the decision slightly easier. I am thankful that they have the option to have a hysterectomy.

However, for those of us who are dealing with cancer and pre-cancer, it seems as though we aren't as relieved to be having the surgery.

I say a prayer everyday for ALL of us on this board.

Oh, (((sister))) I'm so sorry you're in this kind of pain.

As the others have said, the grief surrounding loss of fertility is natural and it isn't rare, either. It doesn't matter if you have children or not, or whether you thought you wanted children or not. In your head, you know the feelings don't make sense; but your is having none of it.

There's no timetable for grief, and no handbook, either. Unfortunately, the sadness may never really go away. I wish I had better news for you, but that is the reality in some cases.

However, there is hope. In many instances, the sadness does lessen over time. Other (((sisters))) find they need some counseling to deal with the grief.

We have a special forum here called Aching Hearts where other dealing with this grief gather to share and support each other. We're here for you whenever you need us.

Even though we have 4 wonderful boys and I have had my tubes tired I still do go through times where I am sad because once I ahve my surgery then that option of having more children is gone I will be just 30 years old soon and as happy as I will be to live a life without the pain it's still a little shocking to me. What makes it worse is that all of our friends are just now starting to have their children so I'm feeling a little jealous of them. And to be honest I have always wanted a girl, now don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade any of my boys and I probably wouldn't have a clue as how to take care of a girl but I feel somewhat robbed of being a mother of the bride and shoppinf for girl clothes etc.... But I do know that I am truely blessed to have the family that I have and believe that things happen for a reason. I am making it my priority to be the bestest mother in law ever hahahaha. Hugs to you..........