Should this bother me? (Pregnancy Mentioned)

Two and a half weeks ago I was 32 weeks pregnant. I started to spot because of placenta previa and placenta accreta. The bleeding wouldn't stop, so my dr. decided to deliver the baby. I was under the impression that I was going to be awake for the whole operation. But as soon as the baby was out, they put me under and did a hysterectomy. They left my breathing tube in and sent me to the SICU for the next 24 hours. I was sedated and really don't remember much. My husband, in his excitement made calls to my friends and family to let them know about the birth. The baby was in the NICU and I was in the SICU, so he asked for no visitors until I was feeling better. Well my 2 good friends insisted on coming up to the hospital and sitting in my ICU room with my husband. I am a very private person and not very touchy feely. I guess they were touching my face and brushing my hair. They also listened in to the doctors and nurses as they spoke to my husband. I feel really invaded. To top this all off, they now feel the need to keep bringing up the fact that I no longer have a uterus. They tell me how wonderful my doctors and nurses were. They pipe up with details of my ordeal when someone asks me a question. I'm really mad about this. This is My story to tell. And honestly I don't want to tell it to the world. I know they both feel like big heros, but I see them as Nosey Nellies. I feel that they took advantage of my husband and my situation. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to invade their privacy if the shoe was on the other foot. It just really honkerblonkes me off that they are acting like know-it-alls and throwing around my personal business. I guess I don't really have a question, my post was more of a vent. So thanks for reading, if you have any advice for me, I'd love to hear it.

I don't have advice, but sometimes I think people aren't sure what to do and they feel like they need to help in the biggest way that they can. To them they were helping you. But then again I am not touchy feeling and my BF came to the hospital and she didn't hug me or touch me cause she knows I hate it... I would just tell them how much the whole situation is bothering you and that you don't want people to know. Turn on the water works and I bet they figure it out. Sorry I am not much help.

Bchehm,
going straight to the beginnings of your plight - where was patient confidentiality in all of this!!!???
I'm really cross with your hospital that they allowed this to happen in the first place
You're right, this is YOUR PRIVATE story and not a social event!
I know people are well meaning, like your friends are obviously trying to be, but they should have the decency to respect your privacy.

Having a premie baby AND having a hyster are 2 very large life events, and they are major stressors that I can understand could leave you feeling very traumatised especially if they were unexpected. You have every right to feel exposed and raw.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Maybe your DH and you could ban together and make a plan to take back some control over this situation. Like asking medical/nursing staff to ONLY discuss your issues in private with you two and not the whole room? And maybe let your DH have a word with your friends that you don't wish your medical issues - especially of such a sensitive nature be blurted to anyone who cares to listen.

I'm not sure if I've been helpful at all, I was just so mad that this has happened to you.....
Sending you & your very delicate family peace, calm, privacy and the space to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Iwona, you have confirmed my feelings. The whole thing turned into a circus and I'm mad at them for that. I've already made my husband promise to never let that sort of thing happen again. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

When my Sister was gravely ill her Husband allowed the neighbour in to "clean the house". She never got over her anger at his actions, allowing the neighbour into her personal space.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Bchehm Two and a half weeks ago I was 32 weeks pregnant. I started to spot because of placenta previa and placenta accreta. The bleeding wouldn't stop, so my dr. decided to deliver the baby. I was under the impression that I was going to be awake for the whole operation. But as soon as the baby was out, they put me under and did a hysterectomy. They left my breathing tube in and sent me to the SICU for the next 24 hours. I was sedated and really don't remember much. My husband, in his excitement made calls to my friends and family to let them know about the birth. The baby was in the NICU and I was in the SICU, so he asked for no visitors until I was feeling better. Well my 2 good friends insisted on coming up to the hospital and sitting in my ICU room with my husband. I am a very private person and not very touchy feely. I guess they were touching my face and brushing my hair. They also listened in to the doctors and nurses as they spoke to my husband. I feel really invaded. To top this all off, they now feel the need to keep bringing up the fact that I no longer have a uterus. They tell me how wonderful my doctors and nurses were. They pipe up with details of my ordeal when someone asks me a question. I'm really mad about this. This is My story to tell. And honestly I don't want to tell it to the world. I know they both feel like big heros, but I see them as Nosey Nellies. I feel that they took advantage of my husband and my situation. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to invade their privacy if the shoe was on the other foot. It just really honkerblonkes me off that they are acting like know-it-alls and throwing around my personal business. I guess I don't really have a question, my post was more of a vent. So thanks for reading, if you have any advice for me, I'd love to hear it.

Unfortunaly the cat is out of the bag (no pun intended). Possibly you can express your displeasure to the nosies, if they are truly friends they will respect your desire for privacy. If not, TELL THEM TO SHUT UP AND MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS (my apologies for shouting, but that really frosts my butt). It was very unprofessional for medical staff to discuss anything in front of anyone except you and your husband. Knowing me, I would be complaining to the ombudsman at the medical facility, since your husbands instructions were not followed (no one in the room means just that - NO ONE). We are an overly litigous society, but that shoulds like a lawsuit waiting to happen..

i kinda went throught the same situation in a way!! and its a hard situation!! i had my son through csection and the dr left sum placenta in me and to make a long story short i got infection and was hemmorging and my dr refused to do a d+c cuz he was too cocky!! by the time the hospital finally stepped in and got me a new dr it was too late and i had to have a hyter! but my boyfriends mother and sister were awful with the gossip and then when i got out of the hospital they started emailing me saying they wish my bf would leave me for someone who could have babies and just really immature stuff!! and a lot of ppl just dunno what to say to me cuz its kinda a odd conversation! but then again while im out in public everyone always asks well you ready for another one? its like what do i say to this? sometimes i tell them i had to have a hyter then ask if they want to be my surrogate? lol lol!! well sorry for blabbing i hope all is well with you!! take care!