Welcome to HysterSisters!
As one who dealt with a lot of bleeding, I know it is not fun!
I had been on the pill for years for my cycles and when everything went haywire I was switched from one pill to the next to the next but they didn't work. My GP referred to a GYN to try to figure out what was causing all the bleeding -- I had no other health concerns. By the time I made it to the GYN, I had been bleeding most of two years. First, I had a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, and a D&C. The laparoscopy was to look around the exterior of my uterus to see what might be going on in the pelvic region that was causing all the bleeding. They hysteroscopy was to take a look inside the uterus to see if the problem was there. And the D&C of course was an attempt to stop the bleeding. The D&C failed. The hysteroscopy showed the inside of my uterus was fine. The laparosocpy found stage IV endometriosis!
For me, the uterus had to be removed to stop the bleeding since the endo was covering the exterior of the uterus and no other treatment option would be effective. Because of my age my GYN did not want to do my hysterectomy at all and will tell you that to this day, eight years later! But I didn't have any options available for my specific circumstances.
Unfortunately for me, I had complications and they did affect me and my family for years to come!
If only a hysterectomy were a simple surgery with no risks. If only no woman ever regretted her surgery. If a hysterectomy was guaranteed to cure all women and their GYN issues. Then things would be simpilier for everyone! But that is not the case!
I do not believe your doctors are trying to be uncaring. Their gender is not rendering them unable to understand what you are going through. Instead, they are likely concerned about the risks, the problems, the dangers of surgery, etc. especially if they do not know what is causing the bleeding. What if they do surgery and you still are tired and exhausted all the time? What if you still bleed? Believe it or not, it does happen for one reason or another.
Also, you would likely be amazed to find out how many women end up regretting having had a hysterectomy! Many of them post here on the site, angry that they are worse of than when they started, wishing they could go back to the "simple" problems they had before their hysterectomy. In fact, we have several forums here on the site to help women who are dealing with issues after their hysterectomy: sexual dysfunction problems, pelvic floor and bladder issues which include a whole host of ick stuff, endometriosis, nerve damage, chronic pain, additional surgeries, hormone issues, compromised overall health, and the list goes on.
As you do need some medical treatment, I would suggest you could keep a journal detailing exactly what you are going through. This can give your doctors an idea of how much your life is being impacted by the bleeding. Write down as many details as you can. If have any other health symptoms or issues that might be related to your cycle, keep notes about those as well. It could help guide your doctors to the right diagnoses and treatment plan. Then ask your doctor(s) for testing that would help determine exactly why you are bleeding. A laparoscopy and/or hystereoscopy would be the right diagnostic tests for you as they were for me! If you can find the actual reason for the bleeding, it is possible there is a better treatment option available than what you have tried so far. Have you ever had an endometrial ablation for instance? If bleeding is the only issue, the ablation could be exactly what you need!
If a hysterectomy was a simple procedure that was a end all/cure all with no risks involved, it would make things so much easier! But unfortunately, it isn't! Instead, if can cause otherwise healthy women, like me, to end up with very compromised health, additional medical concerns, more surgery, and an even more disabling life. So we and our doctors do have to carefully weigh the pros and cons for this surgery before deciding if it will actually be worth the risks or not!
in there and keep talking to your doctors. If you would feel more comfortable, do look for a female physician. My GP is a female but my two GYNs who are very compassionate are male. My mother's least compassionate, worst doctor ever, was a female OB/GYN!
I wish you all the best and I hope you can soon find a treatment plan that will let you feel your best so you can be the best mom you can be!