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Pain and an unsupportive Spouse Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

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  #1  
Unread 11-24-2008, 08:34 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

I have to get this off my chest, or I think I may explode.

On Friday, I stupidly lifted a few boxes at work, that were way over the weight I know I can lift. Well, I started turning inside out (vaginaly) and had very bad pain. My fault I know, so I was just taking my pain meds and my gravol as my pain meds make me nauseated.

I thought I was doing very well, I took two pain killers on Friday, two on Saturday, and that was good. Sunday I woke up took 1 pain pill and did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned the house (vacuumed, dusted, did bathrooms), went an got groceries, and at 1:00 told my spouse, I was going to go lay down, with my heating pad in hopes that I would only have to take 1 pain pill.

Well he went off on me, telling me I’m becoming addicted to the pain killers, and I take them everyday. I told him that if he listened to me, I was going to lay down, with the heating pad so I didn’t have to take another pill. He then went off saying that’s all I do is take pills or lay around the house. I don’t see how that is even possible. I work a full time job, and take care of the house. When he said this to me at 1:00 in the afternoon, I had gotten more done than he gets done in a week. He was still sitting in the living room in his pajamas.

This really hurt me as I try very hard not to take them everyday, as becoming addicted to them is something I’m worried about.

So now here I sit at work, in moderate pain, and heartbroken, cause he just doesn’t get it.
  #2  
Unread 11-25-2008, 08:41 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

I am so sorry you are having to deal with an unsupportive spouse while suffering through such pain. It's not fair to have to battle both. The only thing I can tell you, is you have to focus on yourself...you know what you need and only you know what helps. Maybe at a time when you are both calm, and you aren't in a lot of pain, you could sit down and discuss how you feel, the fact that you are cognizant of the potential for addiction and your conscious efforts to only take what you need...maybe him hearing your side might help, when things are calm. Sending you a
~Katie
  #3  
Unread 11-26-2008, 07:52 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

Thanx Katie, that's exactly what I needed to hear.
  #4  
Unread 11-29-2008, 03:26 PM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

i can relate, i have chronic pelvic/low back pain and my hubby made some comment about me taking me taking pain meds, i wouldnt be working, cleaning the house, etc. Men just dont seem to get it.
  #5  
Unread 11-30-2008, 03:19 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

{{{HUGS}}} I am so sorry that your husband just doesn't seem to understand what you are going through. I hope that you are able to sit down and talk about things when you are feeling better. I think the hardest thing to get my husband to understand is I hurt even when I don't complain, if I complain then things have gotten prettty bad.
  #6  
Unread 11-30-2008, 06:49 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

I am so sorry you are having to deal with pain and your dh not being understanding. I just want to give you a big (((((hug)))) Don't stop taking the med.'s just b/c your dh doesn't understand....you're the one in pain not him. You must do what is best for you. I bet most of us on here have delt with people who just don't understand and try to tell us how we should feel or what we should do about it! AARR!! Take care of yourself sweetie and always do what is best for YOU!
  #7  
Unread 12-01-2008, 08:26 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

Thank you so much for all the support. He is generaly very good, and knows I can't lift, and knows that I hurt most of the time, I just know that he is worried about becoming addicted. I think he watches to much Intervention on tv!

Addiction does run in my family on both sides, but like I had mentioned, I am very aware of this, and so am taking measures to hopefully not have an addiction.
  #8  
Unread 12-10-2008, 09:05 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

I know your pain of dealing with a husband that doesnt have a clue on what you are going through. I had to deal with the same thing when I had my surgery back in 2002. Hopefully he will see the light! Know that this is a great place to get support and we sisters tend to stick together! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs, Maysa
  #9  
Unread 12-10-2008, 09:20 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

I am so very sorry you are dealing with this. I think sometimes men act in strange ways when they are fearful of something themselves. Who knows why he said the things he said but a previous poster had a great idea about talking about it at a calmer time.

One thing I did learn from a friend/critical care nurse/drug addiction counsellor was ... when you are in pain and take pain medication, that medication goes to the pain centre/receptors in your brain to help with the pain ... when you are not in pain and take pain medication, that medication goes to the pleasure centre/receptors in your brain ... that is when addiction starts to rear it's ugly head.

It saddens me how husbands deal with problems we face as women but as hard as it is try to see where he is coming from. I will guarantee you it is likely fear based and if you can alleviate that fear you will be laughing.

Great big hugs precious sister!
Tracy
  #10  
Unread 12-10-2008, 10:05 AM
Pain and an unsupportive Spouse

Thanks again everyone for your wonderful support. We had a good talk the other night, and he is scared and feels helpless that 99% of the time, i'm in so much pain all I can do is sit and cry. He is a fixer, (even by trade), and he feels angry and helpless that all he can do is sit and watch.
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