Holidays when there are babies everywhere and no one knows what to

So, I experienced that people either didn't know what to say, said to much or tried to throw one of my nieces or nephews in my lap, "because, it will make me feel better"! This is all in-laws, as Dylan is the only wee one on my side. I ended up going outside and throwing snowballs at the car for a few minutes until my FIL came out and gave me a beer and told me to go into his den and put my feet up, to get away from everyone. Now, that was just T-Day! There will be more than one get together with more people who have diarrhea of the mouth and will shove a baby at me. Anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle theses situations without hurting anyone?

That really sucks, I don't have that situation but I have a close friend with two small children and she keeps telling me "oh well look on the bright side you'll be pain free now" problem is pain comes more than just it's physical form and a lot of people ( like her) tend to be naive and don't really care about what you are really going through inside.

I think my best advice to you would be to keep yourself busy in the kitchen if you can. That way it would avoid someone dropping a kid on your lap if your hands are full of pastry or turkey and such. Then in the evening use the excuse that you "over did it" in the kitchen tonight and that you are really sore and paying the price now and you'd rather not have a child sitting in your lap to possibly aggravate the pain.

Don't know if this would be an option for you? Just throwing out ideas for you, hopefully this helps or maybe someone can come up with a better suggestiong :S Good luck to you

Hi Jenn,
People just don't get it do they. I feel very blessed to have the two children I have, but would NEVER do or say something to hurt someone who was unable to have any.
People sometimes just don't think before they open their mouths. I have experienced this quite often in my life.

At just about a week and a half after my hyst, someone brought over a newborn and handed her to me. I must say it did hurt my belly to even hold even just that little bit of weight. Perhaps you can use that as your excuse.

I like kids, but for some reason have never been fond of holding other people's children. I always worry I'll break them, drop them, or more likely they will pee or spit up on me. EWW.

When dealing with ignorant or insensitive people, the best thing to do is put a bit of distance between you.

Hang in there,
Lisa

No one understands how you feel unless they have been through it. They probably think they are helping you feel better. I have told everyone that I am afraid of the little ones moving to fast or hurting my belly so it is best if they keep their distance for now. That way no ones feelings are hurt. Just a thought. Carry a little pillow with you so people remember you are still hurting? Best of luck.

I am sorry that they are doing this to you. I had a emergancy hyst after having a c section with my son, and everyone is telling me that "there are other ways to have children", that just kills me when someone says that. I am only 3wks post op. I wouldn't wish ppl's ignorance on anyone.

Thanks so much for you suggestions and kind words. Keep em' coming!!
Don't you wish you could put all of the ignorant people in one room and then everyone else can enjoy themselves!!

Ok, so granted I am 47 but after agreeing to have the D&C back in October, the doctor gave me hope that I would be so fertile and in the best conditionfor a chance to concieve if that is what I wanted!

Then 5 days later ,the DR calls with the results of the D&C and tells me about the pre-cancer and the need for a hysterectomy!

So now here I was 2 days post op from a LAVH, and I have family members here saying how lucky I am not to have to give birth at my age and other mindless nonsence related to changing diapers, etc.

I just started crying my eyes out and they thought I was laughing and totally did not get how SAD I am about how things have turned out for me.

I am sure this will all pass in time, by how rude and thoughtless some people are.

Holidays are trying when you feel good, I learned you can't get people to listen even if they ask what is going on or how are you. I have found hiding in back room is always good too:-) Or do like I am at MIL and play on the computer.
Hugs and you know where I am.

to USLB, you truly are always there for me.
My in laws are so clueless and have no "filter" so they say anything and no matter how many times you say something, they don't hear


My FIL is great and has been letting hang out in his den to lay down and watch TV, plus he always has a whiskey and soda or a beer for me, so he's my savior on the in-law side!

Granted I have one child. Love her dearly, lost a son long time ago. But I can relate. Everyone brings their babies to me. I just look at them and say sorry I dont like kids I am allergic. Lol if you want to have fun, people will stop asking you if u say things like no thanks not hungry now or im feeling a lil gassy to hold it. But then I m morbid that way lol. I usually just get myself out of range for babies. A quick potty break or like the one said. Keep your hands full. No one likes beer spilt on their precious.