I had my six week post op on Friday. First thing the doc asked was whether my husband and I had tried the "intercourse thing" yet. I gave him a quizzical look (I couldn't tell if he was teasing me), and said, "No, we've been waiting for the official okay on that." He then said something about how he was going to check everything out to be sure I was healing right, yada yada. Still thought it was weird that he asked (since he hadn't cleared me for intercourse before).
He did an internal exam, which wasn't terribly painful, but not comfortable either. Just a bit more tender than having a pap. He said "everything has healed fine," and attended to some small issues - he pulled out a stitch that hadn't come out on its own, and applied some silver nitrate to some granulation tissue. He palpated around the area of my vaginal scar, and asked if it was uncomfortable. It was rather tender - he said that it was "thickened" which "can happen with surgery," and that it was also the area that had been anchored to my uterosacral ligaments to prevent vaginal prolapse. He said that it's generally the last thing to remain tender during healing, but didn't really give me a timeline as to when it would stop being tender. He then cleared me to resume all my regular activities, including intercourse.
Well, I've been dying to make love with my husband, and we had intercourse twice that evening (I guess I needed to prove some things to myself about what still worked or not - my husband was rather taken aback by my tackling him the second time - he sure didn't complain, though). It was pleasant, but that area around the scar was tender, so we took it slow and easy. I needed extra lubrication, but was glad I was still able to climax with intercourse. We've made love twice since, each time with a little less worry about the pain, but still with some residual tenderness around the scar. I asked my husband if he thought it felt "different," and he said he couldn't tell any difference at all besides the lubrication issue. Well, I wanted to feel the inside of my vagina myself to see what was different, and so put a clean, lubed finger inside to assess the situation. Well, that thickened scar on the vaginal cuff was really easy to find, and it really feels *weird*. It's not only thick, it's sort of lumpy and bumpy and uneven - some parts are quite a bit larger and harder than others. I could practically run my finger across the bumpy top to find a depression where I assume my stitches were, and then beyond to where some other thick and bumpy vaginal tissue was. To my surprise, it's kind of on the front (anterior) wall of the vagina, instead of being at the very far "top" of the vagina. It was uncomfortable to touch too much, which kind of explains the discomfort of too much pressure on the area during sex. It's not desperately painful or anything... it's just an area that I don't want to have consistent pressure on (which obviously is an issue for certain penetration angles).
I guess I've managed to kind of freak myself out a little... it really does feel disturbing compared to what my vagina felt like before the surgery, and not just because my cervix is gone. The bumps and depressions just feel wrong. I wonder if they will continue to heal and smooth out at all?
My husband and I have made love every day for the last three days... and while it's still tender, it seems to be okay, and we're getting less tentative about it all. It feels good more than it feels bad. (I had very painful intercourse before surgery, and this is better than the old days - uterine contractions after orgasm used to send me into fetal position in tears.) Still, I wonder if the tissue will stretch (I thought scar tissue didn't stretch?), and wonder if I can ever really get acclimated to the new feeling - especially that bumpy scar. I hope that my scar won't always be tender... that would really make certain angles during penetration something I'd want to avoid long term - not fun. And it really does feel... ugly. And strange. I'm hoping someone can tell me that it smooths and gets less thick over time? And that the residual tenderness disappears?
Well, I can't comment about scar tissue at all since I haven't explored mine at all and I'm only 5 wks out. I love that you went exploring to see how things were inside and knew what things were like before. I have been curious how my own scar is forming (I sure hope it's forming well!) As long as it works and DH and I can have pleasurable sex again, I'm not going to complain.
I can say when scar tissue is new, there is an opportunity to "stretch" it out and make it more supple. It sounds like you and your hubby are working on that with all the lovemaking!
Don't stress yourself out about the scar being ugly. Your DH didn't notice a difference! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... and.... I'm not going further with that and what eye he'd be looking with...
Bravo to getting the go-ahead with all activities.
I'm not as far along as you are with my hyster, but I had terrible tearing during the delivery of my DD4. The doctor performed a last minute episiotomy and subsequently repaired it afterward. My vagina felt bumpy and lumpy also. I later found out that my doctor had given me a husbands knot. Intercourse was not easy at first, but it did become more pleasurable. After about 6-9 months the tissues were not as bumpy or lumpy and even now I barely can tell.
If it interferes with your love-making I would urge you to talk to your physician. He may be able to shed some light on your discomfort.
Thank you both for your replies. I think that exploration of that scar has been the first time I've felt "disfigured" - that anything major had changed as a result of my hysterectomy. Yes, I've had recovery pain, and the tiny little laparascopic incisions, but I could see and feel all of that before, and they seemed appropriate. Touching the vaginal scar, and feeling how strangely shaped and tender it is, sort of brought everything home. And it's different... harsher than the scars left by any other event in my life.
The doc didn't really have a lot to say about the tenderness, other than to "be careful for a while" because it's thickened, and because it's tender. Kind of a "if it hurts when you do that, then don't do that." He didn't seem concerned, anyway. I'll give it some time. Hopefully things will smooth themselves out in there. If I'm tender for a long time, obviously I'll want to talk to the doc again, anyway!