Anxiety and thinking I had it together waiting for surgery

Good Morning/afternoon/evening to all,
I have posted several times here and each and every time I have posted I have said that I wasn't scared, I would run to the castle, I am ready for it. Well well well, I guess it would be not so much as I went to my pre-admit testing at the hospital, on my birthday no less, happy birthday to me -It was a fiasco.

First let me state that the hospital I am going has done most of the surgeries I have had to have and there have been no issues. I love going here as it is close to my co-workers and friends and they can visit as well as small enough you do not get lost in the crowd. Yesterday made up for that. I went there hoping to find info out and it seems that all I needed to do was to give blood (had to go to the blood bank as they blew all veins in my arms) answer about a billion questoins (not complaining just thought wow glad I know my medical histroy) and finally my blood pressure. The lovely woman who took it must have thought I was a petit young thing and not the rather curveaous thing that I am *giggle* Oh well three attempts with a small cuff and bp of 222/111, 202/111 and finally 164/111 she told me it was okay to get the rest of my blood taken and maybe I could call my Primary doc about the BP.

Got the blood taken (another event and a half) and walked to my car, left a message on the docs machine and waited. I walked in the office to messages on my phone from all docs dealing with me (wonders never cease) actually my docs ae the tops. My appt with my Primary care Dr was great even, first she was mad at all the bruises I am now sporting (blood pressure cuff too small and blood taken ones) then proceeded to take my bp. Three times. 146/88, 144/82 and finally 146/84. It seems that maybe I was not the walking dead or ready to explode BUT my heart was racing (like this wasn't expected). She worked with me to "visualize" my way to calming (me tearing up the whole way - gotta love hormones) and it came down from 120 permins to 80 something. I now have a script for ativan so that I can continue my journey of a 1000 steps to the castle.

Does anyone have any tips on staying calm through this wait as I thought I had it all under control and nope I really do not. Right now I feel bruised and beaten down. Oh yeah Sorry so long..

Marcia

This is a great site to vent your concerns . I was scared and anxious just to get it over with. tired and anemic ...but I want to live my life happy wealthy and wise and help others. You can count on me.. I can only speak from my experience cause this is all brand new to me. I had my surgerry 4/20/09 I am at hope recovery. especially from the awful gas pains...walk walk walk even though it hurts walk.. The surgery wasn't as bad as I thought. I think the fear of .....??? is the worst. You hang in there...you will be alright. try not to eat to much 2-3 days prior to your surgery providing you do NOT have any other medical condition... LISTEN @ YOUR BODY it knows.
Best of Luck to you..
Be a Blessing

Maria,

I felt just like you pre-op. If you read through the recovery posts it will confirm that waiting is the hardest part!

I have needed this surgery for at least 4 years, so let me tell you that when it was finally scheduled, I was walking on sunshine and could not wait.

Well, as the day got closer my nerves freyed more! I got crankier and crazier and all the "what ifs? were sending me over the edge. I kept as busy as I could and got something from my dr. to help me sleep. By the time I was 2 days preop I was literally bouncing off the walls!

Just try to remain focused. Make lists of things you want to get done (the heavy moving stuff), get your post op room ready and jammies and stuff. Cross things off and you get them done - it's a great sense of accomplishment to see it on paper when your mind is so scattered!

Also, a cousin had a 1st birthday party for their baby on the Sunday before surgery (Tues surg). Over 60 people invited and I was making alfedo sauce for the hostess. When I realized how close to surgery this was I was going to kick myself. In the long run, it help keep me busy and the host and hostess were so gratefull for my help. I stayed in the kitchen (party room) getting food ready and doing dishes. Everyone kept thanking me and I was thanking them, tellng them how nervous I was and how great it was to put all that energy into a positive action.

Read the pre-op checklist!

Hang in there, it will be here before you know it and you'll have plenty of time to find your lost mind!

Best of luck to you!

Susie

Thank you all, Yes I have read and reread a lot of the posts and I do believe waiting is the hardest. I am just surprised that I feel all calm cool and collected and in actual fact I am not.

I have learned from the US Navy (my first career job) to "suck it up" and my boss here at the job (also military) has told me that this is not the time to "suck it up" but to be truthful to yourself. I am thinking he is a evolved male, especially for a military man.

Maybe with the ativan I will be able to sleep. Right now My boss is trying to get our boss to make me go home (have a splitting headache) and I can't tell them enough that this is not the place to send me. They need to let me just do little things here or I am going to be thinking too much. Thank you all for your advice and experiences. I am truly thankful for my middle school friend telling me about this site.

Marcia

Good for you. If you feel better taking the Ativan....do what you have to do . This site is good. All kinds of stuff and the best part is women that have gone thru the same Thank You HysterSister You hang in there.

Marcia,
I had my total LVH 4-13-09 I too was SO excited!! I have had 20 day periods since my fourth child 2 1/2 years ago---this was my last option and i was SO EXCITED to have a dr who was offering---I thought it would be a fight! Anyway, I decided to do it andscheduled it about 3 weeks later---my dr gave me xanex to take during that time---i was so confused as to how i could want something so bad but be so axious and terrified of having it done---the 3 days prior was Easter weekend it was good to be around family but Easter day (the day before) was the hardest. keep taking the ativan and know that it will be GREAT to have it behind you---as far as the surgery itself, it was not that bad for me, i am 16 days out and still needing about 2 hours down for every one hour I am up but doing good if i dont over do!!

marcia-wow you sound just like me before my surgery. here is was for 3 weeks before writing list, crossing things off (which YES does feel like a huge accomplishment!), getting all my pj's prepared, my bedroom all set up so i would be comfy. i washed all my favorite comfy blnakets in nice smelling detergent, i thought I was all set. I was calm. Well a week before the surgery i lost it-I had been so busy focusing on what needed to be done, i didn't think about the actual surgery! i know this sounds nuts. I was a wreck, second guessing myself, changing my mind 3-4 times a day, crying like you wouldn't believe. when I came on here and read that people were saying the waiting was the worst part-i gotta admit i didn't believe them. Well here I am 4 months out of surgery and YES there is NO question the waiting is the worst. If I can give you one suggestion after your surgery (and I know you won't want to hear this) it is to walk, walk & walk! It helps SO much with the gas pains. Those to me were the worst part of the recovery. Please continue to post here and get all the support you need

ramseycl, I thought my hardest part was over since the "idiot" in the clinic doing the UAE called me on a thurs night and basically told me I had ovarian cancer and that "WE" were lucky we found it so soon. Funny, that it was not what my GYN nor Primary Doc said. Both were in agreement that maybe it was a cyst in my left ovary or maybe not, we had to go in and see but that if it was a cyst no one could tell me it was cancer before pathology. Turns out I have a uterus that loves to grow fibroids. 5 yrs now it seems "bleeding like a stuck pig" my mothers words. So when they did the Laproscopy and just did a D&C I thought okay time to get this over with. No worries, happy to do it. I guess I fooled myself. Just very nervous now that I am aware that my body isn't reacting as happily as my mind. You guys are the greatest, thank you so much for your time. I feel like I am whining.

Marcia

Just saw Lolli3's post.... I will walk walk walk LOL. I had back surgery in 89 and learned the value of walking. I know I am not going to like it but Mom who was there for my back surgery - and said I will meet you at the end of the hall, will be the one driving me crazy to walk at home and making my uncle and his wife crazy while I am in the hospital to make me walk.

You guys rock!!

I do understand and you are SO NOT whining---listening I am in bed on my computer and get real excited when there is an email from a hystersister. Keep us all posted and take your ativan---that is what it is for----don't just use it at night if you are freaking out in the day too---pop on!!! I did that with the xanex the whole 3 weeks---I tried to only take at night when I got ion bed and my mind went WILD!!! But as the date neared I became an ever 6 hour user :-) AND had no problem stopping---excecpt I am taking it at night now bc I am having a hard time falling asleep because of my naps in the day LOL

Hahaha I took my ativan last night at 7pm, my sister was having a great time making fun of me (in a good way) when it kicked in. I haven't taken it yet today because I had to be at work at 6am and needed to be up at 4:30 to make it in time. I will watch how I do with the ativan tonight and maybe I will take while at work. Bouncing off the walls is an understatement for me sometimes.

I will let everyone know how it all goes, the 6th cannot get here fast enough. Had the choice of having it today (29th) but it did seem wrong to be doing a bowel prep on my birthday. As for PJ's Mom (god love her) bought me new robes to have in the hospital while walking and new slippers (something about they will not like yours as they have no tread on them) so I think I am all set with that. Gasx, stool softeners and a few other things are on the list. I am wondering how the dog will do when I finally am sleeping in my own bed. After the first two weeks? My sister thinks I am going to be eating turkey dinner her week (2nd) after she makes it. I had to gently tell her that I am not going to be eating big dinners and the gas............... hehehehe